Family relationships. What are the relationships in the family for characteristics What is the relationship in the family

In each family, a certain system of education is objectively formed, far from being always realized by its members. Here we have in mind both the understanding of the goals of education, and the formulation of its tasks, and the more or less purposeful application of the methods and techniques of education. The 4 most common tactics of upbringing in the family can be distinguished and the 4 types of family relationships that correspond to them: dictate, guardianship, non-interference and cooperation.

Diktat in the family it manifests itself in the systematic suppression by some members of the family (mainly adults) of the initiative and self-esteem of its other members. Parents, of course, can and should make demands on their child, based on the goals of education, moral standards, specific situations in which it is necessary to make pedagogically and morally justified decisions. However, those who prefer order and violence to all types of influence, wish to assert their own superiority on the feeling of dependence of another, weaker being, face the resistance of the child, who responds to pressure, coercion, threats with their own countermeasures: hypocrisy, deceit, outbursts of rudeness, and sometimes outright hatred. But even if the resistance turns out to be broken, along with it, many valuable personality traits turn out to be broken: independence, self-esteem, initiative, faith in oneself and in one's capabilities. The reckless authoritarianism of parents, ignoring the interests and opinions of the child, suppression, coercion, and, in the case of the child’s resistance, sometimes even emotional or physical violence against him, mockery, systematic deprivation of his right to vote in resolving issues relating to him - all this is a guarantee of serious failures in the formation of his personality.

guardianship in the family is a system of relations in which parents, ensuring by their work the satisfaction of all the needs of the child, protect him from any worries, efforts and difficulties, taking them upon themselves. It is these children who are unsuitable for life in a team, children lack independence, initiative, they are somehow removed from solving the common problems of the family.

The system of interpersonal relations in the family, based on the recognition of the possibility and even the expediency of the independent existence of adults from children, can be generated by tactics " non-intervention". Most often, this type of relationship is based on the passivity of parents as educators, and sometimes their emotional coldness, indifference, inability and unwillingness to learn to be parents.

Cooperation as a type of relationships in the family, it implies the mediation of interpersonal relationships in the family by common goals and objectives of joint activities, its organization and high moral values. It is in this situation that the egoistic individualism of the child is overcome. Such a family becomes a group of a high level of development - a team.

2. Classification of parenting styles

Of great importance in the formation of self-esteem is the style of family education, the values ​​accepted in the family. Psychologists distinguish 3 styles of family education: democratic, authoritarian, conniving.

Democratic parents value both independence and discipline in the child's behavior. They themselves grant him the right to be independent in some areas of his life; without prejudice to his rights, at the same time demand the fulfillment of duties.

Authoritarian parents demand unquestioning obedience from the child and do not consider that they should explain to him the reasons for their instructions and prohibitions. They tightly control all spheres of life, and they can do it and not quite correctly. Children in such families usually become isolated, and their communication with their parents is disrupted. An even more difficult case is indifferent and cruel parents. Children from such families rarely treat people with trust, experience difficulties in communication, are often cruel themselves, although they have a strong need for love.

The combination of an indifferent parental attitude with a lack of control is also an unfavorable variant of family relationships. Children are allowed to do whatever they want, no one is interested in their affairs. Behavior becomes out of control.

Hyper-custody - excessive concern for the child, excessive control over his entire life, based on close emotional contact, leads to passivity, lack of independence, difficulties in communicating with peers.

3. The influence of the type of education on the behavior of the child, the formation of his personal characteristics

Adequate and inadequate behavior of the child depends on the conditions of upbringing in the family.

Children with low self-esteem are dissatisfied with themselves. This happens in a family where parents constantly blame the child, or set excessive tasks for him. The child feels that he does not meet the requirements of the parents. Inadequacy can also manifest itself with inflated self-esteem. This happens in a family where the child is often praised, and gifts are given for little things and achievements. The child is punished very rarely, the system of requirements is very soft.

To bring up an adequate representation, a flexible system of punishment and praise of the child is needed. Admiration and praise are excluded from him. Gifts are rarely given for deeds. Extreme harsh punishments are not used. In families where children grow up with high, but not overestimated self-esteem, attention to the personality of the child is combined with sufficient demands.

Anxiety can become a personality trait of a child. High anxiety becomes stable with constant dissatisfaction on the part of parents. Due to the increase in anxiety and the associated low self-esteem, educational achievements are reduced, and failure is fixed. Self-doubt leads to a number of other features: the desire to mindlessly follow the instructions of an adult, to act only according to patterns and patterns, the fear of taking the initiative, the formal assimilation of knowledge and methods of action.

The second option is demonstrativeness - a personality trait associated with an increased need for success and attention to others. Its source is usually the lack of attention of adults to children who feel neglected and unloved in the family. But it happens that the child receives sufficient attention, but it does not satisfy him due to the hypertrophied need for emotional contacts. Excessive demands on adults are made not by neglected, but, on the contrary, by the most spoiled children. Such a child will seek attention, even violating the rules of behavior.

The third option is “avoidance of reality”. It is observed in cases where demonstrativeness is combined with anxiety in children. These children also have a strong need for attention to themselves, but they cannot realize it because of their anxiety. They are hardly noticeable, they are afraid of arousing disapproval with their behavior, they strive to fulfill the requirements of adults. An unsatisfied need for attention leads to an increase in even greater passivity, invisibility, which makes it difficult for already insufficient contacts.

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The article was prepared specifically for the site www.. P. "Fundamentals of education in the family" Benefit. - Chelyabinsk: Non-state educational institution "Chelyabinsk Humanitarian Institute", 2007.

Types of relationships in the family.

Let's start with love. What is parental love and what does it teach children?

It would seem that parents should love and accept their child by anyone: obedient and naughty, beautiful and ugly, smart and not very, open and withdrawn ... That is, there can be no conditions for the love of a child for parents and parents for children. No wonder they say: “Parents are not chosen!” But, unfortunately, even artists, having created a work that does not meet their expectations, throw it into a far corner or even destroy it, in a flash of despair and disappointment for everyone.

You will say: “We also compared ... A child is not a picture and not a poem!” Yes, the child is not a thing, but, nevertheless, he is nothing but the product of his parents! The artist puts everything he can into his work: talent (whatever it is), soul, time, money, health. What do parents invest in their child? And the same thing - parental talent, soul, time, health, money ... and much more! I think that much more than the artist in the picture. Although ... who knows?

Much is said and written about unconditional love, but not many people know how to love like that, because in the family where they grew up, they were loved for their intelligence, obedience, cheerful disposition, openness, honesty, beauty ...

Oh, and where are these children hiding? In fact, they were disliked (or pretended to be disliked) for being mischievous, disobedient, sloppy, for bad grades in school… What else? Yes, to each his own!!! Who among you has not felt unloved, rejected? ..

And what does this teach driven by good behavior, parental love? Parents can’t even think that their child can also be disappointed in them, in their parents, and reject them, in due time?

Dear Parents!!! And where can all these unpleasant personality traits come from in your child? But let's look at the different types of relationships in the family, thanks to which the personality of the child is formed!

Diktat! All of us, after the fall of the USSR, learned what "authoritarianism" is! Could this be a family? Maybe? How is it? Well, yes, that's right - this is when all family members unquestioningly obey one person: father, mother or grandmother (rarely grandfather for some reason). This person both punishes and has mercy, he decides what to do, how who should talk to him. It determines where to study, who to be (that is, what profession the representatives of the younger generation will have), and much more. Whoever has a "dictator" in the house understands what is at stake.

The "dictator" behaves this way only out of good intentions, love for his loved ones - that's how it seems to him. He takes full responsibility for their lives, for their future. He always knows how and what should be. He tries to prove to everyone that without him they will be lost, they will make mistakes ... Everyone speaks only in a whisper, “walk on tiptoe”.

It is especially bad in such a family for children. Why? And because the dictator suppresses their initiative, does not allow them to develop a sense of their own dignity, independence, and activity. He can afford to insult and humiliate anyone who dares to contradict him. By accustoming to work, he "forces"! Even talking about something, he says: “I made him go to the store!”, Or “I made her wash the dishes!” A child in such a family is completely deprived of the right to vote, even in those matters that concern his personal interests: he wears the clothes that his parents buy for him, he goes to the sports section that his father or mother chose for him. He may be forbidden to meet with this or that friend, just because the “dictator” does not like him, he even develops talents only those that his parents noticed from him. I can make him learn to sing, play the violin, etc. You can imagine what a musician will come out of it!!!

Overprotection is a kind of dictatorship. Only the "dictator" prefers order and violence, and the "guardian" "gets" family members with his excessive care and demonstrative love. It is characterized by manipulative feelings of guilt, with a sense of duty. He is the “guardian” - the most offended in the family - “no one loves him, no one cares about him, no one respects him, everyone thinks only of himself, and only he loves everyone and takes care of everyone, protects from difficulties !!!” He requires love and attention to yourself in response to his "selfless love"!

In fact, both the "dictator" and the "guardian" care, first of all, about their peace of mind. Why should they bother themselves and think about how loved ones feel when they overwhelm them with their orders or excessive care? They are more comfortable and calmer when everyone listens to them, no one will argue when everyone does what they want! They (and the "dictator" and "guardian"), in fact, are indifferent to the interests and experiences of those who, it seems to them, are in their complete power.

But sooner or later, "authoritarianism" faces resistance, both in the state and in the family! Most often, open resistance flares up from children! At first they begin to lie, dodge, hypocrisy. As the child grows older, he may experience outbursts of rudeness, anger, leaving home ... It happens that the rebel is defeated, his resistance is broken. But there is nothing to rejoice about, because along with resistance, the will is broken, faith in oneself, in one's capabilities; an inferiority complex has been formed, serious damage has been done to the personality of the child.

And if in the first case (when the resistance is not broken), another “dictator” or “guardian” grows up, then in the second case (when it was possible to suppress the child) it will be an absolutely weak-willed, initiativeless, gray personality. Most likely, the life of such a person will be accompanied by a chain of failures, both in the professional and in the family sphere. Maybe he is lucky, and he will meet on his way the “other half”, which will fully take responsibility for his life ... But, most likely, he will get drunk - who needs him like that? Few people know how to love for nothing, just like that!

And now the question is: did the parents want this result?
Of course not! They are disappointed in their child, they show it to him in every possible way. His behavior annoys them! They are ashamed of their child, like the artist of a failed painting! They refuse him, try to meet less often ...

The second question is: what, having become parents, can people brought up in such families give their children?
But only what they have! They were not taught to love and appreciate their loved ones, they were not taught to respect the opinions of other people! One will impose his will on family members, and the other will angrily or indifferently obey someone!!!

What is rigor? What is this suppression method?
Rigidity is a sensible approach driven by the goals in each particular situation. This is the upbringing of the habit of observing social norms, laws, morality! But not violence against a person, not suppression of will and initiative. Strictness is not dictate and not overprotection!

What is "punishment"? Is this necessarily a humiliation of human dignity? Is it necessarily a "flogging" or an insult?

When experiencing punishment, the child must understand that he made a mistake, he must realize that he was wrong - otherwise the punishment is useless! He must make sure that by making such mistakes in the future, he himself is depriving himself of something very important in life. And most importantly, he must be sure that he has the right to make a mistake and to correct it!

Severity and punishment, used correctly, are perceived by children as justice, due to the need to "give a Turk", but not as a lack of love or its excess!

This type of relationship is called "democratic". Here there is concern for each other, and the right to an advisory vote of all family members, and the right to have their own interests and hobbies that do not cause concern to close and, of course, those around them, and the right to choose a profession. Here children are helped to develop, grow as individuals! In such families, the dignity and opinion of each family member, even if it is a child, are respected. “Cooperation” and mutual assistance reign here. Worthy, respected people who know how to work in a team, charismatic leaders, successful businessmen come out of such families ... Their parents are proud of such children.

There is another type of relationship, akin to anarchy. In psychology, it is called "permissive". Here, too, there may be different options:
- "Diktat on the contrary", when parents go on about their child and obey his will. The dictatorship of the child, at first, touches the parents, they encourage such behavior of the child. He grows up in an atmosphere of permissiveness “whatever the child feasts on, if only he doesn’t cry!” He loves his parents as a source of satisfaction for his needs, and when he becomes independent, having achieved his own well-being by any means, as a rule, at the expense of others, he can forget about his parents altogether.
- "Non-intervention". This happens when parents believe that “we have our own life, and the children have their own!” Children should not interfere in the lives of adults, in their affairs and conversations, and parents let the lives of children take their course. In such families (most often, these are families of alcoholics), children deprived of parental attention and love often fall under the influence of their peers, become involved in drunkenness, drug addiction , criminal gangs... Sometimes such children grow up into independent leaders, adapted to any conditions of life, who achieve everything "with their work and mind"! But, as a rule, these are soulless cynics who do not know how to love and appreciate close people, including friends. They say about such people “the street brought up”!

What is your style of relationships in the family - you be the judge. To change it or not, for the benefit of your children, is also up to you. If you decide that “something needs to be changed”, but do not know how, then I recommend that you contact here:
http://familydevelop.biz/pochemu.exe.rar

With deep respect and wishes of love and understanding to the whole family, Lyudmila Astakhova.

Reading time: 2 min

Relations in the family cover the relationship of all participants in a previously formed small social group, united by a common life and interests. Love, family, relations between relatives, what could be more significant in life?! However, often relationships in married couples are quite unfavorable. To create strong family ties and strong relationships, a comfortable microclimate, it is necessary for all members of the existing group to move in one direction.

Often, problematic aspects and conflict situations that arise in the relationship of marriage partners appear as a result of the inability to form a healthy relationship, due to the fact that no one has previously taught them how to competently build healthy relationships, get out of conflicts, and interact correctly. Also, the moral climate and psychological atmosphere in family relations, the social activity of the family and the structure depend not so much on the spouses themselves and general patterns, but on the specific circumstances that influenced the birth of the family and its further functioning.

Family and family relations

Among the circumstances affecting the life of the family and favorable relations in it between its members, the level of education of the spouses and the degree of their culture, financial situation, instilled traditions and life guidelines, place of residence, social status, moral convictions. All of the above factors determine the desire of the family to unite and consolidate, to constructively resolve conflict situations, move in one direction, thereby determining the specifics of family relationships.

Families can be, depending on the number of members, large and small. Today, in modern society, a small rather than a large family is considered the norm, although not in all countries. A small family usually consists of spouses and one or a maximum of two children. Spouses and their children are the core of every family. Often their parents live with them. Each member of family relations is in stable interaction with each other and plays a specific role in the family, worries about meeting the interests of society, the needs of each member individually or the family as a whole. The personal qualitative characteristics of the spouses, the specifics of their relationship determine the appearance of the family and the direction of the implementation of its inherent functions.

Communicative interaction ensures the coherence and purposefulness of the efforts of partners in order to achieve important priorities for the family, to meet the individual needs of subjects in emotional closeness with their loved ones. In the process of communicative interaction, partners exchange confidential and important information only for them, while empathizing with each other, which leads to a better understanding of each other, intellectual and spiritual enrichment. Intimate communication among partners is inextricably linked with the spiritual.

A family is considered a socio-economic entity, within which a joint life and budget is maintained, the acquisition or production and consumption of various types of goods and services takes place. For example, the satisfaction of the need for clothing. This function of the family is called economic. Its implementation is the task, first of all, of the spouses. A deep mastery of professional knowledge and skills of the spouses will allow the full implementation of this function.

Another key function of the cell of society is the organization of cultural leisure. A typical feature of leisure is a special atmosphere of warmth and emotionality, which allows you to fully open up and be sincere.

Equally important is the educational function of the institution of the family. After all, children are born in it, and then children are brought up.

The listed functions implemented by the family are extremely important and irreplaceable. A social group organized into a family should show equal concern for all its members, both older and younger.

They also distinguish between the representative function of the family, which means actions in the interests and on behalf of the family in contacts with friends, neighbors, and various public institutions.

The marriage union will function better only in cases of extensive interaction of the spouses.

The composition of functions in a particular family can be diverse. It depends on the degree of formation and level of development of the family, the circumstances of its existence. Failure to perform certain functions by the family may not affect the strength of the union only if both spouses have lost interest in a particular type of activity. If only one of the partners has lost interest, and the desire of the second to work together in some area of ​​the functioning of the family does not find the right response, a constant source of conflict will appear.

Families, like family relationships, can be diverse and depend on many different factors. Below are the types of families and family relationships that are observed in society today.

The most democratic type of family relations is considered to be a partnership way of building relationships. In such a family, relationships are built on trust, equality and constructive communication. In a partner family, it does not matter who earns more, the budget will still be common. Problems and conflict situations are resolved through discussion and a joint search for the best ways out of the situation. The main difference between such a family is a joyful atmosphere and a healthy environment in the family.

The next, no less common type of relationship in marriage is the patriarchal type, in which the wife and children obey the man (husband). The husband is the head of the family. He is fully responsible for the members of the group and independently makes all decisions. The role of a woman in such a family is reduced either to housekeeping and raising a child, or to work, but in combination with housekeeping and caring for a child. The typology of family relations also contains a category called the traditional family, which is characterized by maintaining close ties with relatives up to the “seventh generation” and subordination to the elders in the family. The foundation of the traditional family is the inviolable laws of the strength of relationships, responsibility and nepotism. In such families, most often, partners enter into a marriage union once. Traditional families do not accept divorce. The advantage of creating just such a family is mutual understanding and a clear delineation of responsibilities between all members of the group.

The matriarchal type of family relations is also quite common today. With this type of relationship, either a woman earns more than a man, and as a result she influences him, or she is an activist who loves to take care of children, budget, repairs, and any other family problems on her own, i.e. to everyone who succeeds. Often a man allows his wife to dominate the family due to his own natural laziness, unwillingness or inability to resolve domestic problems. There are also families in which the wife fully provides for the family, so the man assumes the duties of a housewife.

Today, one more type of family relations can be distinguished, which is new for society - the modern family. This type of relationship originated in the second half of the 19th century in European countries and spread throughout the world within a hundred years. It is characterized by the prevalence in relations of individual desires over the general ones. In such families, personal life becomes more important, more significant than family life. In a modern family, the interests of partners can be completely different, and the intimate aspect of marriage prevails over others. Children in such family unions become objects of excessive affection of parents. The desperate desire of spouses in modern families to give their own children everything is a negative feature of such relationships. After all, this prevents children from self-improvement, it is not easy for them to get on their feet, since they are freed by their parents from the need to get something by their own labor, protected from any difficulties.

Types of families and family relationships can be all kinds, but in each individual marriage there are positive aspects and negative features.

Attitude towards family and parents

The characteristics of relationships in the family is determined by several factors that determine the quality of relationships between relatives. Such factors include: the adaptation of spouses, their dependence on parents, the type of family rituals and the nature of family rituals, dependence on relatives of a spouse or spouse, behavior in resolving conflicts with relatives on one side or the other, interpersonal models of establishing relationships.

There is a close relationship that combines the adaptation of spouses and adaptability to relatives on one side or the other. Some people are satisfied that they have excluded new relatives from their own family life or have fenced themselves off from them, while others will do everything possible to strengthen ties with new relatives and build interdependent relationships. The effective level of interaction can also be different for a married couple at different stages of family life.

Unfortunately, it often happens that the attitude towards the baby in the family overshadows all feelings for the parents. But before, for each individual in childhood, parents played the most important role. They were the most dear, dear and beloved people. But as they enter adulthood, especially after the birth of children, close relationships with their parents are lost. Although this does not mean that parents have become less close to grown-up children or have begun to love them less, but with each meeting there is less and less time to spend together, and endless problems, constant conflicts and misunderstandings can only aggravate the situation.

Building good family relationships is not easy. After all, children and parents have different views, beliefs, preferences and tastes. As a result of various trifles, conflicts and misunderstandings arise.

In order for relations with parents to remain the same, you need to try to understand what has gone wrong, what has changed. You should try to please your parents more often, give them, albeit small, but gifts, and not only on major holidays. After all, in childhood, parents spoiled their children with gifts not only on holidays, but for some reason when children grow up, they forget about all the joyful moments that their parents gave them, move away from them, do not consider their opinion.

Good relations in the family to parents will not be possible without communication. You need to talk with your parents, not sparing this time. If adult “children” are annoyed by constant parental reproaches and unnerving advice, then you should simply ask them about the details of life at the age at which their grown-up children are now. All people make mistakes, and all parents strive to protect their own children, regardless of their age, from any mistakes. Therefore, one should not neglect the advice of parents or judge them harshly. Parents should be given the opportunity to take care of their grown children.

Social relations in the family

The most complex social education today is the family. It is based on a holistic family-wide interaction of a community of individuals who are bound by marriage and carry out the reproduction of offspring, the succession of family generations, and the socialization of children.

The family is both a social institution and a certain small group. A relatively unchanged type or stable form of social practice through which social life is created and organized, the stability of relationships and relationships within the boundaries of the social formation of society is guaranteed, is called a social institution. In sociology, a small group means a small social group of individuals whose members are united by joint activities and establish personal communications with each other. This is the foundation on which emotional relationships are born in the family, the basis for the formation of special group guidelines, values, rules and norms of behavior.

The family, as a social institution, is purposeful to satisfy the most important human need for the reproduction of the genus. And as a small group, it is the foundation on which the formation of the personality takes place, plays a significant role in personal development, socialization. The family, as a small social collective, is a kind of conductor of the rules of conduct, values, moral and spiritual norms that prevail in society.

The following types of family ties should be distinguished, depending on the characteristics of marriage, the characteristics of parental roles and kinship: monogamous and polygamous marriages, patrilineal and matrilineal unions, patriarchal and matriarchal marriages, homogeneous and heterogeneous marriages.

Monogamous marital ties are a marriage union of two people: a female representative and a representative of the strong half of humanity. A polygamous marriage is a marital union of one man with several spouses or one woman with several men. In patrilineal marriages, the inheritance of social status, property, and surname occurs through the paternal line, and in matrilineal families, it is carried out through the mother. In patriarchal marriages, the husband is the head of the family, and in matriarchal families, the wife is considered the highest authority. In homogeneous marriages, the spouses are natives of the same social group, and in a heterogeneous family union, the husband and wife come from different social estates, castes, groups, classes.

Today, the most common in today's urbanized cities are the so-called nuclear marriages, in which the family consists of parents and children, in other words, two generations.

Social relations in a family union are divided into formal relations, i.e. conventional and informal relations, i.e. interpersonal.

Sustainable social relationships, ties between family members, close relatives, other relatives, friends have a positive sustainable impact on mental state and health.

Child-parent relationships in the family

Healthy parent-child relationships in the family contain two components. Love is the first ingredient. The attitude towards the baby in the family should be based, first of all, on love for him, and not on control and educational methods of influence. The child needs to feel that mom and dad feel love for him simply for the fact that he exists, and not for his behavior, actions or good grades. The love of parents is a guarantee that the baby will grow up with a normal level of self-esteem, feeling and trust in the world around him. Children who are simply loved accept themselves exactly as they really are, which is of great importance in his entire subsequent life. After all, if you enter adulthood, considering your personality "unworthy" or "bad", the chances for a decent and successful life are reduced to zero.

The second component of the parent-child relationship is freedom of choice. Giving it to a child is often much more difficult than giving love. It is quite difficult for parents, and sometimes very scary, to let the baby make his own choice. Since they are always sure that they know better what to do, and the child wants to do it his own way only out of pure stubbornness. However, one should delimit the freedom of choice from lack of control and permissiveness.

Even if the baby feels love, excessive control by dad and mom leads to the risk of developing various forms of addiction. Reckless parental love, reinforced by total control, is an explosive mixture. Such a "cocktail" suffocates and does not allow breathing. Women with increased anxiety and overprotectiveness are prone to such overprotection. They control every step of the child, every new hobby. As a result, the baby can grow up either fragile and vulnerable, unable to withstand any life difficulties, or simply try to avoid such love by any means. The nature of relationships in the family, based on total control, according to most psychologists, causes children to often escape from reality into “chemical addiction”, mainly drug addiction.

Control, multiplied by the dislike of parents, can destroy a child's personality, which as a result can lead to.

Excessive freedom given to the child, combined with dislike, provides an opportunity for the formation of a child's personality, but at the same time leads to a great risk of physical injury. Such relationships are most often observed in dysfunctional families, such as families of alcoholics or drug addicts. In such family unions, children receive almost absolute freedom of choice, since, in principle, no one needs them. In such relationships, children are more likely to die, but along with this, children have the opportunity to grow up as an independent, purposeful person.

For the purpose of educational measures in family relationships, parents can turn to various methods of influence, such as encouraging or punishing the child, the desire to demonstrate behavior patterns by example. Parents' praise will be more effective if the child is in warm friendly relations with them, and, conversely, if the relationship between the participants in the seed process is cold and indifferent, then praise will not carry practically any incentive for the baby. Thanks to the use of incentive methods of education, the development of the baby as a person can either be accelerated and made more successful, or slowed down. Do not abuse punishment in the process of education. It should only be used if it is practically impossible to change the child's behavior in any other way. If there is a need for punishment to increase the educational response, the punishment should follow immediately after the misconduct. Very harsh punishments should not be abused, as they can cause the baby to become angry. Children who are often shouted at and who are constantly punished become emotionally indifferent, show increased.

The psychology of family relations boils down to the fact that everything that happens to a child is entirely the merit of his parents. Therefore, parents must learn that after the birth of a child, they have the opportunity to either help the child in the processes of socialization, personality development, learning, etc., or, on the contrary, interfere. Refusal to participate in the upbringing of children is also a kind of contribution to his future. But whether it will be positive or bad, time will tell.

Interpersonal relationships in the family

Achieving coherence and harmony in marital relations is quite difficult. The most important period in the family life of partners is considered to be the initial one, when young people for the first time face not love problems, but family and domestic ones. The stage of grinding characters, coordinating views on life, establishing a family way of life is a very difficult and important stage in relationships, which can cause both ups and downs in the mood of the newlyweds. This period is full of the most dual experiences. This stage of married life is remembered by the young for a lifetime, and in the future is reflected in the fate of the family and spouses. Indeed, in a relationship, each of the spouses discovers the world not only of his life partner, but also discovers something new in himself.

The basis of healthy family relationships should be a feeling of love, i.e. the highest level of emotionally positive attitude of the individual to the individual. Also known phenomenal selectivity in choosing a companion in a relationship built on love.

The psychology of family relations in the real life of subjects is much richer, more diverse and more complex than what people imagine before marriage.

The problem of relationships between subjects who have entered into marriage is relevant and one of the fundamental topics in family psychotherapeutic practice. In particular, this applies to young families created recently, where spouses are just learning how to live together. This stage of family life is considered a kind of grinding and an indicator of how their joint married life will develop in the future. The grinding period is characterized by a lot of problems in the interpersonal relationships of partners.

Basically, protracted conflicts, grievances, quarrels are caused, at first, by joint housekeeping. At this stage, you need to learn how to build a life together and treat the habits of another with understanding and patience. It is with the ability to find a common language in the process of building a joint life that many problems are associated. After all, earlier, even before marriage, the partners spent all their free time together and enjoyed it. They forgave each other for each other's small shortcomings, such as impracticality, some forgetfulness, absent-mindedness, and so on. Previously, these qualities were perceived as a little funny, harmless and sweet character trait. Now it is annoying and begins to be compared with unreliability.

Difficulties in mutual understanding and interpersonal relationships between spouses are often inextricably linked with differences in temperaments. Often, problems in interpersonal interaction are caused by the impact of the biological rhythms of the spouses. Also, the intimate life of a young family and its spiritual comfort depend on fluctuations in the biological rhythms of partners.

Emotional relationships in the family are the most important integrating mechanism, thanks to which the participants in family relationships feel like a single integrity and feel warmth and support from each other. Relationships based on love and mutual sympathy contribute to the reduction of frustrating experiences.

As a rule, emotional relationships in the family go through five stages in succession. The first stage is characterized by a deep and passionate feeling of falling in love with the individual, when the spouse takes all the attention at the same time, coloring the perception of the reality of the partner in iridescent colors. At the second stage, there is some cooling, which is manifested in the fact that the image of the spouse rarely pops up in the mind in his absence, but when you meet him, there is a strong surge of positive emotions, feelings of tenderness and feelings of love. The third stage is characterized by continued cooling in emotional relationships. In the absence of a spouse, the partner experiences some psychological discomfort, but when meeting with him, tenderness and a feeling of love no longer flare up. For a flash of tender relationship and love, a kind of incentive is now needed - the partner must do something pleasant to prove his love. At this stage, habituation occurs. If at this stage mutual understanding is not found and the intensity of interpersonal communications is not reduced, then it will move to the fourth stage, which is characterized by unconscious irritation caused by the presence of a spouse. At the fourth stage, habits or character traits, appearances are perceived not as minor flaws, but as reasons for conflicts. At the fifth stage, the individual is completely in the grip of a negative attitude. It is characterized by the fact that the spouses have already forgotten all the pleasant deeds and words, and all the bad things are brought to the fore. Partners come to a misunderstanding why they live together. This period is the most difficult in interpersonal relationships.

Relationships of spouses in the family

As a rule, the nature of relations in the family, the cohesion of its members or the disintegration of the family, depend on the set of personal qualities of the partners, the moral principles they profess, worldview beliefs and life attitudes. When the ideological beliefs or worldviews of the spouses are incompatible, the family breaks up. The difference in ideologies determines the dissimilarity of needs, goals, objectives, ideals, dreams, therefore, leads to a difference in actions, behavior, the result of this will necessarily be the spiritual incompatibility of the spouses and even hostility. A true rapprochement between a man and a woman who adhere to different worldviews is possible only if both partners or one of them refuse their original positions.

The moral qualities of the spouses, such as tolerance, the ability to understand, attentiveness, kindness, tact, compassion, etc., are essential for family relations. All these qualities make the subject more “suitable” for living together in a marriage union. And vice versa, such qualities as unreasonable anger, excessive resentment, capriciousness, arrogance, selfishness make people incapable of long-term relationships and unsuitable for family life.

Also, individuals entering into a marriage should look in the same direction, have similar views on moral standards and value orientations, such as the position of a man and a woman's position in marriage, equality between the sexes, mutual respect, justice, responsibility and duty to the family, society. Since any confrontation with each other in this regard will only contribute to undermining the foundation of relations.

A rather important orienting quality of a person is the ability to make and implement decisions. If this quality is absent in an individual, then the worldview, life goals and attitudes become purely declarative and rather shaky, and the personality of the subject becomes unreliable and infantile. The behavior of such an individual is characterized by impulsiveness and unpredictability, as a result of which long-term cooperation with him becomes impossible.

Of great importance for the individual is also the assimilation of legal norms and moral guidelines that regulate relations in family life, the role of husband and wife, father and mother. The result of the assimilation of such norms will be the formation of a sense of duty, which, together with the will and a sense of love, pushes partners, their parents and other participants in family relations to fulfill their duties exactly and strictly.

Speaking about how to improve relations in the family, strengthen its internal ties, improve relations between partners, one should not underestimate the intimate relationship of spouses. The main thing in the physical relationship of the spouses is that intimacy should satisfy both spouses.

Also, to ensure the cohesion of the participants in family relations, their ability to improve economic activities is very important. Partners should not be afraid and avoid everyday life. Joint housekeeping will only bring spouses together if not avoided.

Love, family, relationships of individuals in the family are the fundamental factor that worries everyone, since in many respects the degree of success and satisfaction with life depends on it.

Relationships in a young family

The harmonious union of two individuals, the coherence of emotional reactions in a young family are created gradually. The prospect of union and further happy family relationships depend on the development of harmony and mutual understanding. That is why special emphasis should be placed at the initial stage of the formation of a family union, since it is at this stage that the psychological compatibility of two completely different people is established. This is the foundation of the emerging multi-story structure of marriage relations. The durability of the entire structure of family life depends on how strong such a foundation turns out to be.

Ideally, a family is the closest people in the world, always ready to support each other and come to the rescue, they are always there in a difficult moment. However, even between native people there are conflicts or misunderstandings.

Perhaps today the question of how to improve relations in the family is considered one of the central and most pressing issues. An effective method of avoiding misunderstandings in family relationships is the ability to find mutual understanding in any situation with your family. Therefore, from how diplomatically an individual is able to behave in various conflict and ordinary life situations, life together will be so cloudless. In the course of the development of family relations and the maturation of the family itself, it develops its own unique atmosphere. Unfortunately, today it is quite common to meet families where the spirit of alienation and the atmosphere of misunderstanding between household members dominate. The results of such intra-family relationships can be completely different, ranging from the breakup of the family and ending with the psychosocial problems of children.

Naturally, it is impossible to live without conflicts. You need to understand that conflicts are different. In family life, destructive conflicts should be avoided. It must be remembered that each individual has pluses and minuses, so you should learn to forgive and make concessions.

Healthy relationships in the family of the newlyweds will help to avoid the breakup of the family. All emerging problems should be discussed, trying to find a joint solution, and not shunned.

Unfortunately, in our time, the value of relationships in the family is gradually being lost. To prevent this from happening, individuals entering into marriage should be aware of the reasons that prompt them to enter into a family union. If both spouses love, respect each other and understand, if they are ready to make concessions to each other and have a common interest, then the relationship in the young family will develop favorably.

The characteristics of relations in the family of newlyweds is determined by the psychological compatibility of partners, the ability to create an optimal moral microclimate in relations.

Family relationship problem

In our time, one of the fundamental problems of the modern family is considered to be a sharp decline in the status of the family as a social institution of society, a decrease in its importance in the hierarchy of value orientations.

It is the solution of family problems that usually comes first for people. Among the most common categories of problems in family life, one should single out conflicts arising between partners, parents and a child, sons and daughters. The value of relationships in the family should be the highest value of individuals who form the social cell of society.

Love, psychological compatibility, spiritual harmony and communicative interaction of parents are considered to be one of the main factors that prevent protracted conflicts, the emotional basis for raising a child in a family. In a relationship where spouses treat each other with love, the relationship between children in the family will be friendly and benevolent, based on love and a sense of belonging to one family.

At the very beginning of family life, the first problem that arises before the newlyweds is the division of responsibilities, which in any case have to be performed. Often, partners have a different idea of ​​who should do household chores, as a result of which conflicts arise on this basis.

The next problematic situation is the development of family values ​​and moral guidelines from those that are really important for each of the partners.

In the process of resolving family conflicts, the partner is recognized from a new side, the discovery of such traits of his character that were previously not noticeable.

Also, after the birth of a baby, family life is threatened by conflicts and problems. After all, when a woman, in addition to the role of a wife, acquires the role of a mother, her attention switches from her husband to the baby, which is very much experienced by men.

A conflict or acutely negative attitude between children in the family also provokes quarrels between spouses who do not understand that the reason for the cool relationship between children is often the parents themselves.

Speaker of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMed"

The family is of great importance for any person, because it is the basis of his whole life.

Relationships in the family may not always work out well. There are various ways to solve the problem.

concept

What is a family relationship?

Family relationships- this is the interaction between people who are members of the same family on the basis of kinship or marital ties.

The most important types of family relationships are the interaction between husband and wife, between parents and children.

Every family is small socio-psychological group, which has its own characteristics.

The nature of intra-family relations depends on many factors: the level of education of family members, the degree of trust in each other, the psychological characteristics of the participants in the relationship, the degree of emotional closeness, etc.

Psychology

The psychology of family interpersonal relations provides for the analysis of not only the relationship between husband and wife, but also the features of the interaction between parents and children.

Between husband and wife

From a social and legislative point of view, in our country, a man and a woman are recognized as a family only if there is an official marriage.

From a psychological point of view, the situation is different.

Often, people officially registered with each other decide on inability to maintain relationships and cease to conduct a common household.

Separate living, separate budget and the complete absence of joint interests indicate in this case the absence of a family. At the same time, from the point of view of the law, a man and a woman are spouses.

There is also a downside, when a man and a woman have a common life, common children, jointly resolve all issues and at the same time are not legal spouses.

In this case, they themselves consider themselves a family, but from the point of view of the state they are not.

Considering the concept of family not as a social unit of society, but as a union of people close to each other, then a family will be understood as a man and a woman who are in a stable relationship and consider each other a family.

Between parents and children

The main function of the family is birth and upbringing of offspring.

Tasks of parents after the birth of children:

• upbringing;
• providing educational opportunities;
• provision of material benefits;
• spiritual, aesthetic, moral development of children;
• providing emotional, psychological support;
• protecting the interests of children.

Children throughout their lives in the parental family adopt the habits, attitudes and model of relationships between parents. The presence of serious problems in the family, conflicts between spouses reflected negatively throughout the life of the children.

The task of parents is to demonstrate the correct behavior that will serve as an example for the younger generation.

Often, as children grow older, parent-child relationships undergo changes: there is coldness, detachment. Most often, families face similar problems during adolescence in children.

The formation of their own ideas and views, the emergence of new interests can lead to the denial of children's values ​​instilled by their parents. The task of parents during this period is to overcome the difficulties that arise, to build a dialogue with children.

The functions of parents change significantly when children reach adulthood - communication is established on an equal footing as children become independent members of society.

The situation becomes reversed when the parents reach old age. During this period, parents themselves become dependent on children, as they need help and support.

Styles

The following common ones can be distinguished:

intimate relationship

Intimate relationship between spouses play a huge role in the well-being of the family. Most divorces occur precisely because of the appearance of problems in the intimate sphere, which often lead to a whole range of mutual claims and insults.

Intimate problems usually arise in families after several years of marriage, when the spouses, under the influence of a large number of everyday problems, cease to be interested in each other.

In place of love and attraction comes a habit that makes partners and friends out of spouses.

Successful family relationships can only develop for those couples who have initial compatibility in the intimate sphere and make efforts to maintain interest in each other in the process of family life.

family relationships

This is a relationship between close people who have become relatives to each other as a result of marriages or on the basis of blood relationship.

In the case of consanguinity, relatives are people who have a common ancestor: parents and children, brothers and sisters, uncles and aunts with nephews, grandparents with grandchildren, etc.

At the conclusion of marriages, inherent kinship relations arise when the blood relatives of the spouses become members of the same family father-in-law and mother-in-law with daughter-in-law, father-in-law and mother-in-law with son-in-law, brother-in-law, sister-in-law, etc.

emotional

Emotional relationships in the family are of great importance, because they determine the degree of satisfaction of spouses with their marriage and the level of comfort and security provided to children. Relationships between family members should be built on trust, respect and support.

It has long been proven that people who grew up in families with a bad emotional climate are very likely not able to build strong relationships in the future.

Any emotional problems in the family (parents, negative habits of parents, excessive demands on children, lack of mutual support and trust between family members) negatively affect the child's psyche, his character and self-confidence.

Democratic

Equality and partnership between spouses, between parents and children - healthy family relationships.

Despite the fact that in any family there is an unspoken leader, and Children must first obey their parents. all contacts can be based on respect for each other's interests, mutual assistance and support.

The full participation of all family members in solving key issues allows not only to avoid conflicts, but also to unite everyone with a single goal.

Affiliate

Husband and wife are first and foremost partners.

Moreover, in the process of marriage, it is the roles of partners that begin to prevail in the relationship of spouses, pushing the relationship of lovers into the background.

Spouses, being partners, solve a whole range of tasks: raising children, maintaining material well-being, arranging everyday life, supporting each other in solving professional problems, etc.

After the birth of a child

Birth of a child- a transitional period for any family, which often causes a crisis in family life.

With the birth of a child, spouses lose the opportunity to fully spend time together and manage their lives, the level of material well-being decreases, women often face postpartum depression.

It is important for spouses to go through a difficult period together after the birth of a child and concentrate on getting positive emotions from communicating with a new family member, from participating in his upbringing.

Secrets, secrets and rules of an ideal family life

The basic principles on which the life of truly happy families is based:

1. Mutual respect and trust. This applies not only to spouses, but also to parents with children. In a family where everyone respects each other, listens to everyone's opinion and is always ready to help, conflicts and misunderstandings cannot arise.
2. The ability of a man to take responsibility. The man is the head of the family. At present, this role often belongs to a woman, and most conflicts arise precisely because the man ceases to be responsible for the family, and the woman takes on non-female duties.
3. A woman's desire to be a mother and mistress. The main purpose of a woman is to maintain home comfort and raise children.

   Family life should be organized in such a way that a woman always has enough time and energy for the house, for her husband, for children.

4. The ability of spouses to escape from everyday life. Often, relationships end due to the cooling of a man and a woman towards each other, caused by the departure of romance and passion from their relationship. Spouses should always remember that they are not only partners and parents, but also loving people. The ability to find time for joint leisure is an important factor in maintaining relationships.

Stages

Family relationships go through the following stages:

Diagnostics - methods

Sometimes family conflicts become serious when their participants cannot resolve the situation on their own.

The study and analysis of family relationships will identify existing problems and determine ways to resolve them. The main directions of diagnostics:

1. The study of the system of distribution of roles in the family. The specifics of building communications in a particular family, the distribution of functions, the emotional climate, and the existing problems are considered.
2. The study of the relationship between parents and children. Identification of violations in the process of education.
3. The study of marital relationships. Assessment of the degree of satisfaction with marriage, the level of conflict in a couple, existing contradictions.

Causes of the crisis

Why have family relationships stalled or cooled off? Main reasons on which family relationships can come to a standstill:

How to improve the situation?

How to improve family relations if they have cooled down? You can successfully get out of this situation by following the following advice from psychologists:

1. To take the responsibility. Each spouse must realize their mistakes and draw appropriate conclusions. Recognizing problems and being willing to work on them can lead to significant change.
2. Discuss all issues. It is important not to carry grudges. It only makes it worse. Constant open dialogue is the key to understanding in the family.
3. Improve your sex life. Family relationships will never be cloudless if there are problems in the intimate sphere.

   It is important to make efforts to solve problems in this area and to exclude thoughts of betrayal.

4. Find common interests, hobbies. If partners have nothing in common, they will never be one. It is important to find some good occupation, a hobby that will unite the spouses.

So family relationships play a key role in the formation of personality and its development. The well-being of the family directly depends on the desire of all its members for mutual respect and support.

Psychology of relationships between men and women in the family:

Parents and children

How much has been written, how much has been said about the relationship between parents and children. And nothing has changed.

How much has been written, how much has been said about the relationship between parents and children. And nothing has changed. Many parents are dissatisfied with their children, criticize their actions and want to live their lives for them.

In turn, children quietly hate their parents for interfering in their lives, for controlling and manipulating, for scandals and reproaches.

And this situation has been going on for more than one millennium and most likely appeared simultaneously with the emergence of mankind.

Of course, there are few happy families where respect and mutual understanding reign between parents and children. And I want to believe that the majority of such families. But in this article I would like to touch on the destructive families. Families that harm the normal and free development of a person as a person.

So, what are the types of relationships in families.

1. Parents are tyrants. Parents try to completely subjugate the will of their children. They control their every step, every act. Of course, it hides behind conversations about love and care. But love does not control or suppress. True love believes and supports without demanding anything in return. And no matter how much parents convince themselves and those around them that they want only the best for the child, they pursue only one goal - complete control over the life of their child. What are the options for the development of events in such a family? The child or runs away from the family in order to be able to live their own lives. Or completely subordinates his will to his parents and turns into a "plant". Unfortunately, the first option is not ideal, since in most cases the child remains resentful of his parents for life, and he will subconsciously build relationships in his future family that he observed in childhood.

2. Weak and spineless parents. These are parents who have achieved nothing in life and, accordingly, can give nothing to their children. Such parents are not authority for their parents. In such families often grow up who completely control and manipulate their parents. These children grow up what are the relationships in the family socially unadapted adults. Though of course there are exceptions.

3. Parents are friends. A good choice for families. If you have such parents, consider yourself lucky. Such parents trust their children, allow them to live their independent lives. Such parents often look younger than their age and are interested in the hobbies of young people. Such parents are good because at least they do not interfere with the development of their children, do not get into their personal lives, leave enough room for freedom and development.

4. Insensitive parents. These are deprived and deeply unhappy people who do not know how and cannot love. For them, children are nothing more than eternal problems. They never hug, kiss, or say kind words to their children. You can often hear from them: “Why did we give birth to you. You ruined our whole life." Children from such families have 2 options for the future. They also do not show any feelings in life, and both they and their environment suffer from this. Or the child firmly decides for himself that everything will be different for him. Often children from such families become very loving and affectionate parents in the future.

5. And, probably, the best option, parents are mentors. These parents really care about their children. They do not just send them to kindergarten, then to school, institute. And then they shrug their hands in bewilderment, why, they say, we don’t have children. Parents - mentors are sincerely interested in their children, communicate with them, approve of any of their choices, while helping to make the right decision. Such parents observe the interests of their children from childhood, and help them find their calling at an early age. Such parents will never tell their child: go to study or work here, because I wanted this in my youth, and now you will realize my dreams. Such parents will never manipulate their children into doing what the parents see fit. Parents - mentors give a full choice of development to their child, while helping him, suggesting, doing everything so that the child finds his own life path. Unfortunately, these parents are in the minority. Maybe because we have been studying physics, mathematics, literature and other sometimes completely meaningless things for years, but no one ever teaches us how to be the kind of parents who can raise truly happy and harmonious children.

It is no secret that many people throughout their lives continue to suffer in one form or another because of their relationship with their parents. Someone refuses or avoids communication. Others constantly quarrel, scandal and sort things out among themselves. And some choose the option of a humble and submissive child who imitates excellent family relationships, and secretly hates his parents for his unfortunate life. If you have a really warm sincere relationship with your parents, then I congratulate you from the bottom of my heart. Although there is a very high probability that you simply do not realize the influence of your parents on your seemingly independent choice and do not notice the hidden manipulation. Although it might be for the best for you.