Can children be left alone at home? Home alone: ​​when to leave your child alone

You may have noticed that in many foreign films, parents under no circumstances leave their younger children alone. They are either looked after by older siblings, hired teenage nannies, or adult nannies. If no such person is at their disposal, then the parents take the child with them.

All this is because many countries have their own laws, according to which it is possible to leave a child alone at home only from a certain age. For example, in different states of America, this age varies from 10 to 18 years. And if parents disobey the letter of the law, then they can be fined, or even subject them to more serious punishment (especially if they leave a very young child under the supervision of someone who cannot be left alone).

Probably, you yourself do not like to leave a small child alone, because if you even once tried to do this, you were worried yourself and found the same cranky kid at home. But up to what age is this state of affairs normal? Let's try to figure it out.

Requirements of Russian laws

It should be noted right away that in our country there are no laws that would clearly limit the age up to which it is strictly forbidden to leave a child at home alone. In other words, this issue remains on the conscience of the parents. But it should be borne in mind that our legislation provides for criminal liability for knowingly leaving without help someone who is not able to take care of himself, and to whom you could help. That is, if you leave your child alone at home, and something happens to him, it will be entirely your fault. And you will be legally responsible for it.

In addition, in Russia, minors are prohibited from being on the street unaccompanied by adults after 22:00 (or 23:00, depending on the region). In some regions / territories / republics it is possible to walk at night without adults from the age of 16, in some - only from the age of 18.

Why is it dangerous to leave a child at home alone?

Most likely, the question of at what age a child can be left alone did not interest you in the context of potential administrative or criminal liability, but in connection with the desire to take care of your baby. So let's start by finding out why this is an important question in principle.

You've probably noticed that as soon as you turn your back, your child already finds new fun. Moreover, at best, it can be associated with damage to property, and at worst - with the emergence of a threat to his health or life. Even in a tidy apartment with relatively safe appliances, there are many potential sources of danger. Open sockets and weak nets on the windows, heavy objects on the top shelves of cabinets, even light bulbs in chandeliers and a regular bathtub. And if you think that your child will never think of taking a full bath of water and playing a submarine in it, creating the danger of drowning, then do not promise.

You must understand that children live in their own world, which is quite strikingly different from ours, the world of adults. And this continues for a long time (in fact, until the child himself grows into a relatively adult). He has a well-developed imagination and fantasy, and he may well come up with an occupation for which you will not find any logical explanation. And he will do this not in order to anger you, not in order to spoil something, but simply because he perceives the world that way.

Abandoned child tantrum

Not every child left alone at home begins to explore with interest the surrounding space and come up with a variety of entertainment. Many babies are simply scared of being abandoned and begin to worry a lot about it.

The child will not be reassured that you told him that you went out to get medicine and will be back very soon. He begins to fantasize that you are gone forever, that you will never come again (or will not come very soon), minutes drag on for him like hours. Therefore, on your return, you run the risk of finding, if not harming yourself, the baby, then the child in tears, snot and wild hysteria, which will have to be reassured for a long time.

How old should a child be to be safely left at home alone?

• If we talk about leaving the child alone at home without any doubts at all, then we can call the age at the level of 12-14 years. This is the age when he knows how to use any home appliances without any problems, understands the purpose of each thing, and practically leaves the world of children's fantasies. And the teenager will definitely not worry that he was left at home alone.

• If we are talking not so much about a desire as about the need to leave the child alone (the same purchase of medicines, or, for example, work, some unforeseen situations), then, in principle, the milestone can begin from 7-8 years. Although a lot here depends on the level of development of your child, his ability to self-care and a real view of things.
• If you need to go somewhere in an emergency, then with an interference you can say about the theoretical admissibility of leaving one child at home at the age of about 5-6 years. Otherwise, it's better to take him with you or ask someone you trust to look after him.

How to protect a child who is left alone at home?

So, with the question of how long you can leave the baby alone, we more or less figured it out. Now let's find out what you should consider if you still find yourself forced to take a similar step with a small enough child:

1. Remove as far as possible anything that could theoretically be dangerous to him. These are stabbing and cutting objects, medicines, matches and the like. Moreover, it is better to do this not under the direct "supervision" of the baby: he may become interested in what you are hiding from him, and in your absence he will climb into the very top drawer of the cabinet, in which, for example, you have hidden interesting multi-colored "sweets".
2. Close balconies and windows, as a last resort - open them in ventilation mode. The child does not understand that if he strongly rests on the net, he will fall. Nor does he understand that if he falls out of the window, he will be injured (or even die). Therefore, the likelihood of this must be reduced to zero.

1. Teach your child to use a gas stove, kettle, TV, and other appliances that he or she may theoretically need. You need to worry about this in advance. If you urgently need to leave, and the child, for example, is not yet accustomed to using a gas stove, turn off the gas just in case. Commands not to approach her alone may not be enough.
2. Make sure your child has an adequate supply of food and knows where it is. Otherwise, he can climb somewhere where he should not climb, just in an effort to find something edible.

1. Explain to the child clearly and clearly where you are going, why you are doing it, and when you will return. This is very important for his psychological comfort. It is highly advisable to leave your child a phone so that he can call you if he gets worried. Or so that you yourself can dial him and talk if you doubt that everything is fine with him.
2. Tell your child what to do if someone rings the doorbell or calls. In the case of a door, it is probably best to prevent the baby from opening it altogether. In the case of the telephone, it is forbidden to tell anyone that he was left alone at home.

1. Explain to your child what the police, the Ministry of Emergency Situations, the gas service, the ambulance are, and teach how to call these services. Of course, he should also have your number, as well as the numbers of your neighbors, if you have any good relations with them. The kid should have clear instructions on what to do in case someone starts pounding on the door, or if a fire starts in the apartment.
2. Help the kid learn his last name, first name and patronymic, as well as your full name and the exact address of your residence. This may be needed in an emergency if he still has to call the police or the Ministry of Emergencies. At the same time, you need to make the child understand that it is by no means worth giving out such information to everyone you meet.

If you take care of all of the above, you can leave your child at home relatively calmly.

In conclusion, we note that as the baby grows and develops, the tendency becomes radically opposite. If then, when he can really be called a baby, it is extremely undesirable to leave him alone at home, then a teenage child, on the contrary, needs it in its own way. He already needs freedom, personal space and personal time. Therefore, be able to gradually loosen control as your child grows up in order to help him grow up as a harmonious personality and not spoil the relationship with him.

Parents cannot constantly be with their child, and grandmothers are not always free to pay attention to their grandson or granddaughter. As a result, the question arises whether it is possible to leave the child alone, and if so, under what circumstances it is permissible.

I will say right away that I was very afraid when I left my daughter at home alone, but there was no other way out. My friends even consulted with psychologists on this issue, discussed at what age it is worth starting to instill independence in a child. Surprisingly, it turned out that age is completely irrelevant here. The main thing is that the child is psychologically mature.

However, the law looks at this matter somewhat differently and firmly defines the age limits that allow leaving the baby at home alone or forbidding it to do so. Since this issue torments many parents, let's discuss how the legislation relates to it in the presented article.

The law is very harsh on the regulation of this issue. In many countries, including ours, children must be supervised by adults under 14 years of age. This does not necessarily mean only the parents, it can be teachers, educators, and other responsible persons.

If something happens to the child in the house or in the apartment where he permanently resides in the absence of an adult representative, then the law will consider this case within the framework of the article on parental negligence. It is unlikely that the situation can be regarded as an accident.

What signs indicate that the child can be left alone at home?

There are many instructions and theoretical calculations that determine which signs indicate that a child is able to stay at home alone. It is about obtaining some guarantees of safety for the baby and the environment. Psychologists who work with children indicate that there are several signs in their behavior that indicate whether it is possible to leave the baby alone at home. These are the following situations:

• the child plays independently and does not constantly try to attract the attention of an adult;
• if mom or dad is not within sight, the baby does not start looking for them with a glance, but continues to go about his business;
• does not get nervous if the door to the room is closed;
• the child is able to independently brush his teeth, wash the dishes and tidy up the room;
• the baby is not afraid to sleep with the lights off.

When completely different manifestations are observed, then it is worth postponing leaving the child at home alone. This can lead to unpleasant and even sad consequences.

Why is it dangerous to leave your child at home alone?

Parents are required to know how the law determines the age at which a child can be left alone at home. At the same time, there are also personal circumstances, taking into account which it is not recommended to take such a step. The main thing is that an insufficiently adult and mature child will not be able to take care of himself on his own.

The second problem is the toddler's restlessness. Especially active children tend to constantly make noise, not sit still, indulge. This often leads to damage to property, and under certain circumstances, it can cause a threat to life and health. Even in a well-appointed apartment, where all the sockets are hidden, and the equipment is secured, there is always something to fall or catch fire. If you think that your child is able to go to the bath, turn on the faucet and arrange later, then it is better not to leave him alone at home.

There are many ways to get crippled even in a cozy city apartment and in just five minutes, so when going to a store on a nearby street, take your baby with you and do not start experimenting until you are ready for it.

How to ensure complete safety for a child at home?

Experienced parents and psychologists suggest providing a calm, safe environment for the child at home in order to be able to leave him alone.

In fact, there is nothing difficult about this, but it will take some time not to modernize the dwelling, it will take:

1. You will need to remove all things that pose a danger away. We are talking about stabbing and cutting objects, matches, medicines. It is worth doing this without the presence of the baby.
2. Balconies and windows must be closed. The child does not always understand that it is impossible to lean on the net, otherwise you will fall.
3. It is important to pay attention to teaching your child how to use a gas stove, kettle or TV. In the future, this will come in handy, and the parents will be calmer, knowing that the child can warm his own tea without complications.
4. Check if the child has the required amount of food, and the child knows where the food and drink are located.
5. Explain clearly to the child what exactly can and cannot be done while the parents are absent.

All of these tips will ensure the child's safety and peace of mind for parents during periods when their baby will be alone at home.

Conclusion

The presented material can be completed with the following conclusions:

1. According to the law of the Russian Federation, it is possible to leave a child at home alone from the age of 8, but for a short period of time. Until this age, the child cannot be alone, because he is not able to take care of his own safety.
2. In fact, custody of the child is provided by his legal representative or other authorized persons up to the age of 14.
3. To understand how your child is ready to stay at home alone, it is worth observing him and paying attention to the signs present.

It is difficult to decide to leave at home alone, even for a short time, even the most reasonable and obedient child. We asked a psychologist and educator how to prepare a child for the fact that he will periodically have to stay alone at home, and at what age it can be done.

Alexander Pokryshkin

child psychologist

It is necessary to take into account not so much the child's age as his real capabilities. It is important to understand that he will be able to safely and comfortably spend time alone. In order to stay at home without adults, he must sufficiently navigate the surrounding space in order to provide himself with everything he needs (play, eat, and so on) and at the same time perform only safe actions.

A separate issue is knowledge about who can open the door and who cannot, the ability to use the phone to contact you if necessary. The second condition is psychological autonomy.

Will he be calm alone while you are not around? Does he easily let you go to the store, even when another adult is at home? How does he even feel about the news that he may be left alone at home? If you can answer positively to all these questions and are sure that the child has all the necessary knowledge and skills, then you can safely move from reasoning to experiment.

Olga Egorova

educator

It is believed that children under seven cannot be left at home without adults. There is no legal prohibition in Russia, so common sense is the yardstick here. It is useless to follow an example from past generations. From an early age, our grandmothers and mothers left their children alone, because often there was simply no other way out. As a result, many people, even in adulthood, are subconsciously afraid to be alone. We have the opportunity not to bring to such consequences and carefully prepare our children for independence.

Circumstances are different, but in no case should a child be forcibly left alone if he cries, is afraid, asks you not to leave. The child must give his consent to be alone for some, albeit a very short time. Be sure to tell your child about the purpose and reason for your trip, and indicate the exact time when you will return.

Talk about safety rules - about not, for example, opening a door to anyone. But it is not worth checking the child's vigilance and ringing the doorbell, waiting for his reaction. If you do not trust, it is better not to leave alone.

Even if you understand that your child is mentally ready, do not rush things. Start by giving him the opportunity to rehearse independence in your conditional presence. Can you retire in another room, leaving him alone for half an hour? Will he occupy himself at this time so as not to turn to you? Such small training will mentally prepare the child for the fact that sometimes he will have to be alone at home.

Recently, when my child fell ill, I had to stay at home. At first I tried to persuade my husband to skip work, then I called my always busy grandparents, and in the end I explained to my boss for a long time that I had no one to leave my sick child with, and today I would not be able to make my colleagues happy with my presence. Listening carefully to my telephone debates, the three-year-old dumbfounded me with the question: "Mom, when can I stay at home alone so you can work?"

A simple, at first glance, child's question puzzled me: really, at what age can you leave a child at home alone? How to prepare your baby for this important event? How do you know that a child is mentally ready to spend several hours alone and not get hurt? Questions arose one after another, but there was no answer ...

What is the taste of independence

There is no unequivocal answer to these questions: some children at 4-5 years old can study alone and do not need the constant attention of their parents, while others, even at 12 years old, are scared to leave unattended even for a few minutes. But, in spite of everything, it is still necessary to accustom the child to independence, only when and how to do it.

According to psychologists, much depends on the character and temperament of the child. If you are not going to take care of your child before the wedding, you must promptly give him a taste of independence. Agree, sooner or later the moment will come anyway when you have to release a grown-up child from under your wing. And it's better to start from 5-6 years old. The longer you control each step of the child, the more temptations he will have to do something forbidden, when left alone for the first time.

It is necessary to give a taste of independence gradually - with homeopathic doses, because even a life-threatening poison in small doses is useful. A person who is accustomed to small doses of poison is very difficult to poison with this very poison. So here - with a skillful dosage of independence, the child will be able to feel all the delights of "adult" life and learn to bypass the pitfalls.

In any business, the main thing is good preparation. Therefore, before leaving the child alone in the apartment, practice a little. As a warm-up before the main start, give your child maximum freedom in your presence and do not control his every step. Create the so-called semblance of complete freedom and independence, define a few hours for yourself ("mother's hour") when you will go about your business without being distracted by the child: "Let's now everyone do their own thing. And in an hour we will discuss what did we manage to do ". As a workout, you can leave the child alone, but at the same time not leave the apartment: for example, take a bath or go to bed. By making the child appear to be absent, you teach him to rely only on himself. At the same time, both you and the child are calm. Thanks to such training, the child will quickly get used to your temporary absence and will not turn to mom for help every minute. Now you can move on to complete independence.

Separately, it should be said about food intake. More often than not, let your child manage the kitchen himself and do not invite him to everything that is ready. Let the crumb pour himself the juice, make a sandwich and open the yogurt. On the day off, let the child prepare breakfast himself: mom is tired and wants to sleep. After a while, you will see that the child is quite familiar with the kitchen drawers and will not starve to death in your absence. Even if the child already knows how to use the stove, it is better not to do this alone. For the duration of your absence, leave ready-made food in a thermos (for example, a cutlet with potatoes). At 5-6 years old, the child is already able to gently open a thermos, put its contents on a plate and eat. If you have a microwave, you can reheat food in it. Try to leave your child those dishes that he loves most and eats with appetite. I can say from my own experience that if you leave your child a hated hodgepodge, which he eats with disgust in your presence, do not hesitate - at best he will flush it down the toilet and assure that everything was very tasty. This is exactly what I did as a child with dishes that did not make me hungry.

We hope everyone remembers the comedy "Home Alone", where the kid, forgotten in the pre-holiday bustle, spends several days alone. In addition to the robbers, whom he gives a worthy rebuff (we will write off this plot twist on the imagination of the scriptwriters), he is faced with many everyday and psychological problems, which, we are sure, you have not even thought about before.

Albeit not in such an extreme way, but sooner or later your child will have to take a step towards independence and autonomy. When can you try to leave your child at home alone? How safe is it? How to prepare a child for an independent pastime?

Is this even legal?

Legislation usually does not specify the age at which a child can stay at home alone. The exception, perhaps, is the United States, where, as you know, each state has its own rules. There, the age sufficient to leave a child at home ranges from 7 years in Nebraska to 14 years in Illinois, but in America in 35 states there are no such legal restrictions.

Most countries regulate this issue with the recommendations of the guardianship authorities (usually 12-13 years is considered the appropriate age).

If there is no law, then it is possible to leave the child at home even from birth? Not really.

First, in The Criminal Code has Article 125: "Deliberate abandonment of a person who is in a state of danger to life or health and is deprived of the opportunity to take measures for self-preservation due to childhood, old age, illness or due to his helplessness" (the punishment is quite diverse - from a fine to imprisonment for up to a year).

It should be noted that simply leaving the child in the apartment does not belong to the concept of a "life-threatening condition", since staying at home does not threaten the child with anything. However, if you left the baby locked up for a day without food and water, the competent authorities will take care of you.

And yet, nimble kids from quite prosperous families suffer more often, who, in the absence (and sometimes in the presence) of mom and dad, get to open windows, gas taps, matches, tablets, household chemicals.

In this case, the article No. 5 - 35 of the Code of Administrative Offenses of the Russian Federation: "Failure to fulfill or improper fulfillment by parents or other legal representatives of minors of their responsibilities for the maintenance, upbringing, education, protection of the rights and interests of minors - entails a warning or the imposition of an administrative fine in the amount of one hundred to five hundred rubles."

Finally, if you constantly leave your child at home alone, and he cries there for hours, which, of course, causes concern and fears of neighbors, the employees of the guardianship and guardianship authorities, who are guided by Article No. 77 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation, come into play.

Article 77 of the RF IC: “Removal of a child in case of an immediate threat to the child's life or health. In the event of an immediate threat to the child's life or health, the guardianship and guardianship body has the right to immediately take the child away from the parents (one of them) or from other persons in whose care he is. "

Here we should note that in Russian legal practice, the interpretation of the concept of "immediate threat to the life and health of a child" in Article 77 of the IC is much broader than in Article 125 of the Criminal Code, although the wording seems to be the same. In fact, whether the threat to the life and health of a child is immediate is determined by the guardianship authorities and, often, "by eye".

However, if your child is calm and cheerful, does not suffer from hunger and thirst in your absence, cannot get to windows, knives, matches, a gas stove, then there is no legislative restriction that would not allow you to leave your child at home. Therefore, consult your own common sense!

How to tell if your child is ready to be home alone

Psychologists are sure that there is no single age mark when you can leave a child at home alone. The above-mentioned age of 12-13 is, rather, the age when the child is sufficiently socialized to be in a potentially dangerous situation, to act adequately.

However, in fact, one child, and at the age of five, is calm enough, prudent and worldly experienced to spend time at home. Another, even at 10 or even 12 years old, is not ready to take responsibility for his own safety.

Try to determine if your child is willing to spend time on their own with a little test. So your child ...

knows how to use a telephone, can dial your number and emergency numbers?

knows how and loves to spend time on his own, can go about his business, without attracting your attention, at least an hour?

does not have pronounced phobias, is not afraid of the dark or monsters?

knows and abides by the prohibitions associated with playing with dangerous objects?

not inclined to injure yourself or others?

has household chores that he clearly and regularly performs?

knows his daily routine and is willing to follow it?

not vindictive, not vindictive, not inclined to organize "sabotage" in response to prohibitions or punishments?

If you answered “yes” to all the questions, then most likely you can try leaving your baby at home. It is usually believed that the average child can stay at home for an hour or more, starting from 7-8 years old.

Potentially hazardous situations

Talk to your child about possible potentially dangerous situations. Make sure he has a table with important numbers with him.

Faucet blew off (pipe burst)

Call you, call emergency services, turn off electrical appliances, ask neighbors for help, open the door, stay in a safe place.

Fire

Leave the apartment and call the fire department, if possible, warn the neighbors, go outside as quickly as possible without using the elevator. If it is impossible to leave the apartment, then first call the fire department, and immediately lock yourself in the bathroom, blocking the door with wet towels. Call you, fill the tub with water and climb into the water, breathe through a damp cloth. Do not panic!

Gas smell

Leave the apartment and call emergency services. If possible, warn neighbors about the danger (knock on the door, not ring!) Immediately go outside and call you from there.

Make sure your child knows the smell of household gas.

Someone knocks or calls on the door

Call you. If the knocking continues, ask “who?” From behind the closed door without opening the door. The door can be opened only if the visitor is familiar to the child (relative, closest neighbors) and warns him of a real danger (fire, explosion threat).

If a stranger knocks on the door, under no circumstances say that the parents are not at home. Explain that they are tired and asleep, or will be back any minute (they are walking the dog at a neighbor's in the nearest store).

If the visitors don't leave, call the police.

” Never leave your child locked at home without the opportunity to leave the apartment! It's not safe!

Essential skills to stay at home on your own

If you leave your child at home alone, he must have formed the minimum household skills. Before leaving him, train your baby in the kitchen: he should be able, at least, to be able to pour himself a drink and prepare a simple snack (at least a sandwich).

If you plan to leave your child for a long time (for example, a first grader waits at home for your return for several hours), teach him to use household appliances - to heat up the food you have prepared on the stove or in the microwave. He should be able to cut bread, wash fruit, pour hot drinks.

” It should be noted that even if you do not plan to leave your child at home, you still need to teach him about household independence, so from four to five years old you can entrust him with simple help in the kitchen!

Home alone - for the first time

So, for the first time, you've decided to leave your child alone at home. How to do it?

At first, absence should not be long... Think of where you can go for 15-20 minutes.

Secondly, the child must understand that he is in control of the situation, so in advance discuss with him the time of your departure and return... It's great if the child already knows how to tell the time by the clock, but if he still does it badly, put marks on the dial.

Third, think of what the child will be busy during your absence... Offer him a new book or toy, give him some task that will captivate him, but at the same time will not cause difficulties.

Be sure to discuss again what absolutely must not be done: open windows, approach the stove, play with fire, use electrical appliances - the list can be adjusted depending on the age and skills of the child.

And, of course, be in touch!

Mom is back!

It is possible that when you come home, you will find spilled milk (I wanted to drink ...), a broken flower pot (I wanted to water ...) and a mountain of candy wrappers. First of all - don't swear!

Separate situations of real danger from the child's awkwardness and lack of discipline. If you find a burned spot on the table, a first-aid kit disassembled into its components, traces of revision of your alcohol or cigarette stocks, it is early to leave the child alone at home, even if the children of all your acquaintances at this age are already completely autonomous.

” Do not get angry if the child wanted the best, but it turned out "as always". Remember that his good intentions will atone for unfortunate consequences, and the rest is just a matter of training.

Finally, if the child deliberately violated an important, but not life-threatening prohibition (ate sweets, turned on the TV ...) - discuss with him again why you are asking not to do certain things, and why it is important to listen to your requests. And you, as a teacher, need to think about why the child pounced on sweets and turned on the TV. Maybe he was still afraid and tried to drown out the fear? Maybe you are too strict and the temptation to eat a week's dose of sweet was too great? Maybe the child is angry at your decision to leave him at home, and bully to spite you? Obviously, your reaction will be different in all three cases.

A child alone at home is a huge concern for parents, but this is also a new degree of freedom, both for mother and child. Letting go of the child is difficult, but necessary. Tell us about your experience in teaching children to be at home on their own!

Prepared by Anna Pervushina