Antipyretics for children are prescribed by a pediatrician. But there are emergency situations for fever in which the child needs to be given medicine immediately. Then the parents take responsibility and use antipyretic drugs. What is allowed to be given to infants? How can you bring down the temperature in older children? What are the safest medicines?
It is better to introduce systematic regular management from the very beginning. In the future, such an approach will allow avoiding many problems associated with the effective development and management of the company, and not just conflicts between business co-owners. Thus, strategic management is a necessary element of the management system.
So, all business owners must make some contribution to the authorized capital. The initial investment to start a business may not have to be monetary. In addition to money, other assets can be contributed to the authorized capital, both tangible (for example, fixed assets) and intangible (they are called intangible assets).
I am 100% convinced that the best option is when all co-owners of the business contribute cash to the authorized capital, and not any other assets. Ideally, they all contribute equal amounts of money to the authorized capital, and in the same currency.... In this case, the likelihood of future conflicts between business partners is minimal.
By the way, this note applies not only to the authorized capital, but also to the subsequent possible investments of the founders.
Human psychology is so structured that not many of us are able to cope with feelings of envy. Logically, we all understand that the one who has invested more in the business should receive more dividends. But when it comes to dividing the pie, we automatically start comparing who gets how much.
Moreover, the larger the pie has to be divided, the greater the feeling of envy. When a small amount is divided, the difference in absolute terms is also insignificant. If we are talking about the distribution of very large profits, then the difference in dividends, naturally, becomes very significant. In percentage terms, it remains exactly the same, but in absolute terms it becomes very noticeable.
If all the co-owners have invested exactly the same shares in the business, then there will be no reason for envy. Although even this condition in the future does not guarantee the absence of conflicts between shareholders (see reason # 3).
In the case when business partners contribute to the authorized capital of "motley" assets, the likelihood of conflicts in the future is very high.
Let me give you an example. Three business partners decided to create a new business from scratch. One contributed cash, the other a fixed asset (a truck), and the third an intangible asset (a license to conduct a certain type of activity). At the time of the creation of the business, everyone believed that their shares were equal, and everyone made the same contribution to the authorized capital.
After a few years, this startup has grown into a fairly well-known company in its industry. Anyone who invested money in a business at some point in time decided that his contribution was more significant than that of others. In addition, since no agreement was initially reached on the system of remuneration and distribution of profits (see reason # 3), he came to the conclusion that now this business should be 100% owned by him.
In general, in simple terms, he decided to leave his business partners. On the sly, he opened a new legal entity, issued a license for it and began to work through it, taking for himself all the clients, employees, fixed assets (at some point, he began to acquire new non-current assets for this new legal entity), etc.
It is also necessary to mention that at some point in time, using the fact that he was the general director, he began to cheat with profit and with dividends. As with other small and medium-sized businesses, management accounting in this organization is different from accounting.
Unfortunately, even if the owners have contributed equal amounts of money to the authorized capital, this still does not guarantee the absence of conflicts between them in the future. This is due to the fact that very often they do not work out in advance another very important issue - the system of remuneration and distribution of profits between business owners.
Reason number 3. There is no clear system of remuneration and distribution of profits for business owners
Even if the business partners have invested in the business absolutely equal amounts of money (and not any other assets), then in this case, conflicts may arise between them. This is due to the lack of agreements on the system of their remuneration and distribution of profits.Very often, when starting a new business, the owners actually play two roles: the owners and the employees of the company. At the same time, they agree only on the distribution of profits in accordance with the initial investment of each, but do not in any way work out the issue of remuneration for each of them.
The problem here is this. It may turn out that one of them may think that he (or they) work and contribute much more to the development of the company than others, which means he (or they) should receive more.
In order to minimize the likelihood of such a problem, business co-owners need to initially agree on a payment system. The labor of all business partners who will be directly involved in the operational work of the company must be paid.
Even if the company does not yet have a profit and only business partners without hired employees work in it, then in this case, the remuneration system should immediately operate. Obviously, at the beginning, there may not be any payments, but this does not mean that salaries should not be accrued to those who directly work in the company. It can also be paid later, when the company earns profit and the financial flow necessary for these payments.
The logic here is very simple. If hired employees performed their functions instead of business partners, they would not do it for free. So why should the owners, performing certain operational functions in the company, should not receive anything for this?
The fact that they are co-owners of the business does not negate the fact that they are employees of the company. None of the company's employees (including business partners) should work for free.
So, at the very beginning, you need to design the organizational and functional structure of the company, which, by the way, must correspond to its strategy, which should also be developed even before the creation of the company.
For each position, you need to prescribe the functionality and determine the remuneration system, which can consist of both a constant and a variable part. Then you need to distribute positions between business partners and in the future pay salaries to each of them in accordance with the positions.
In addition to the wages that business partners will receive as employees, they will naturally receive their share of the profit, determined in accordance with the initial investment in the authorized capital of the company.
It should be noted that this work on the distribution of positions between business partners will be able to show whether they can now agree and do this in the future. After all, different positions may have different levels of remuneration and this is normal.
If at the very beginning disputes begin, including because one of the business partners as an employee of the company will receive more than others, then it is better not to start a joint business.
Some might argue that this approach to organizational design and salary determination is not suitable for a startup, as opposed to an established company. After all, in a startup, everyone has to do everything, because at first the staff cannot be fully staffed.
This is precisely the fundamental mistake. Nobody claims that in a startup you need to hire a separate person for each position. Of course, in the beginning there simply won't be that much work. This means that business partners at the very beginning can occupy (in fact, and not legally) several positions at once and perform a fairly wide range of functions.
By the way, the fact that they will occupy several positions at once does not mean at all that the total level of their remuneration will be very high, since the volume of work in each position will still be small.
Over time, as the workload grows, the number of positions they hold will decline until each of the business partners only holds one position. All other positions will be occupied by salaried employees.
If one of the business partners does not participate at all in the operational work of the company, then he should not receive any salary. He will receive only his share of the profits and that's it. In this case, there will be no disputes and mutual reproaches that someone works more, but receives like everyone else, or even less.
Reason # 4. Professional knowledge, skills and efficiency of business owners
In no case here I want to develop the now fashionable theme that the owners destroy their business, not yielding their place to professional managers at a certain stage of the company's development. I am convinced that if the owners are constantly engaged in self-development, then no so-called "professional" managers are able to develop the company as well as its owners.I know quite a few examples when it was the owners who created a business from scratch, developed it to a very large scale and quite successfully coped with this task without any MBAny comrades.
But, nevertheless, if the owners of the company understand that some of them (or all of them) have hit some ceiling in self-development and do not want to further improve themselves, then in this case, you can really think about what is in the interests of the company it is better to give up your place as an employee (and not the owner !!!) of the company to a hired manager.
For the sake of fairness, it should be noted that I myself have repeatedly observed such situations when the owners of the company, having created their business from scratch and developed it to a considerable scale, become a brake on the further development of the company.
If this is true, then, firstly, you need to honestly admit this to yourself and your business partners. Secondly, you need to choose one of two possible options that will allow the company to continue to develop effectively.
If a business partner does not want to leave the operational management of companies (as a co-owner of a business, no one excludes him from the strategic management of a company in any case), then in this case he needs to actively engage in self-development. To do this, it is not at all necessary to enroll in an MBA course.
In general, if you wish, you can always find a way for self-development and self-improvement.
If the business partner does not want to engage in further self-development, but at the same time his professional knowledge and skills no longer allow him to work effectively in the future, then it is really better to give up his place to a hired manager who has all the necessary parameters.
If this is not done, then there is a high probability that the business partners will receive mutual reproaches for unprofessionalism. In addition, it can really negatively affect the development of the company and the earnings of all business partners. By the way, having ceased to be an employee of the company, it is quite possible that such a business partner will earn more than before.
Yes, he will lose his earnings as an employee, but his earnings as a co-owner may increase due to the growth of the company's profits.
It should be noted that before leaving operational management, it is advisable to introduce an effective system of ownership control in the company. This must be done especially in the case when all co-owners of the business want to cede their positions to hired managers.
Reason number 5. Lack of pre-designed business exit scenarios
Finally, the last of the main reasons for the emergence of serious conflicts between business partners may be the lack of agreements between them on how they will go out of business if someone wants to do so.It is normal practice to agree that the business partners have the preemptive right to buy out the share of the co-owner of the company.
Of course, even such an agreement does not guarantee a complete absence of conflicts, since business valuation, to put it mildly, is not an unambiguous process. Anyone who wants to go out of business will be interested in a higher rating, and his business partners, on the contrary, in a lower one.
But all the same, such agreements will contribute to a more civilized exit of the business partner from the owners of the company.
Under any circumstances, it is better to pre-register all possible scenarios for exiting the business, including the complete sale of the company by all business partners. Otherwise, conflicts may arise, which may lead to the fact that control over the business may be lost altogether or that all business partners will lose on the sale of their company.
So, this article describes the main five reasons that can lead to significant conflicts between business partners. If all these reasons are eliminated initially (or the degree of their influence is minimized), then in the future it is possible to ensure the effective development of the company.
It is quite difficult to maintain a relationship in which a person is not completely sure for a long time. How do you know when one of the partners has already put an end to it and finally decided to leave? Or maybe he is going through a difficult period and needs support?
In order not to make hasty conclusions and not bring the matter to an empty quarrel, it is useful to observe the behavior of the partner, analyze his words and try to understand his plans regarding the existing relationship.
It so happens that one of the partners begins to devote less and less time to his soul mate. Sometimes this is explained by hard work, difficult life twists and turns, illness, etc. But if a person for no apparent reason began to increasingly avoid spending time with a partner, preferring a company of friends, relatives or watching TV, then it is worth considering the true reasons for this behavior.
Disrespect for the individual
In contrast to the situation described above, some partners pay excessive attention to their significant other, constantly creating an atmosphere of distrust, jealousy and resentment. But every person needs freedom. She is killed by the constant control and pressure that can come from the closest person. These are not even bouts of jealousy, but a desire to constantly lead a partner without taking into account his own interests. In addition to the regular questions: "Where are you going?", "Why do you need this?", "Why don't you call?", "Who are you writing to?" and so on, disrespect for a partner is also manifested in frequent sarcastic jokes. At first they seem innocent and funny, but then they begin to hurt the personality more and more deeply. This negatively affects feelings of love and respect, gradually reducing the relationship to nothing.
Loss of spiritual intimacy
Two lovers can sit side by side and look like a perfect couple from the side. But by the detached facial expressions and the seemingly absent look of one of the partners, one can understand that the spiritual closeness of the couple is far from ideal. People who have been together for several years are able to catch each other's emotions, to feel the mood. And if one of the partners increasingly notices that his soulmate is mentally very far from him and does not even try to delve into a joint conversation, then the relationship is most likely cracked.
One of the worst signs in the development of a relationship is loss of communication. Psychologists believe that if partners have nothing to talk about, then they have nothing to be together for. A personality needs communication, and if it is not in one place, then it will definitely find it in another. In addition to reducing the number of conversations, partners can increasingly use justifying clichés: “Maybe we just don't fit each other,” “We are too different,” “Relationships are too hard work,” etc. By saying this, the partner hints about his true feelings and as if prepares his soul mate for the end of the relationship.
Lack of interest in a partner's life
Usually, lovers are completely absorbed in each other. They are interested in everything related to their soul mate. Several times a day they can learn from each other about how things are going, how the mood is, what is new in life, etc. But if suddenly one of the partners becomes less and less interested in the affairs of his passion, or automatically sets the same questions, without even delving into the essence of the answers, then such his behavior puts the relationship at risk and may indicate his desire to break the ties of love.
Feelings of fear and negative emotions
Feeling negative emotions (including fear) for your significant other is not the best sign of a relationship, and sometimes even dangerous. Negative emotions in a person usually arise due to the manifestation of aggression, anger, cruelty towards him, or due to a lack of elementary care. If it is not the first time one of the lovers has begun to notice negative emotions in relation to his partner, then it is worth finding out the true reasons for such feelings. If it is impossible to change the situation, it is better to stop the relationship based on anger and fear.
Avoiding intimate encounters
Sex is one of the most important factors in the development of relationships. The partner, whose feelings have died out, is no longer interested in physical intimacy, and under various pretexts he will try to avoid it. Of course, there may be other explanations for this: illness, stress, problems at work, etc. However, if intimate meetings are increasingly postponed indefinitely for no reason, then it is time to talk frankly about it with your partner.
As a rule, people in love, satisfied with their relationship, often arrange joint appearances. If not everything is going smoothly in a couple, then social walks become noticeably less frequent. There are many explanations for this: the couple is afraid of possible quarrels in public, does not want to pretend, demonstrate negative emotions, is afraid to meet their new lovers, or simply does not want to go out together. Frequent refusals of a partner from joint appearances may indicate that he does not want to advertise the relationship, planning to gradually end it.
Lack of plans for the future
Many psychologists believe that if a couple or one of its representatives stops making plans for the future, talking about children, joint housing, etc., then such a relationship is unlikely to last long. One of the alarming signs that a person is not interested in developing a relationship is her refusal to talk about a joint future. If, after a year and a half of living together, the partner does not want to talk about the wedding, children and other important events, then you should think about the expediency of a relationship with him.
Unwillingness to seek compromises
Arguments and disagreements are common in almost any relationship. But if there is love and respect in a couple, then there is always a compromise and a reasonable resolution of the dispute. When partners begin to quarrel over any reason, bringing the situation to a scandal with insults and humiliation of individuals, then their relationship needs serious adjustment. Anyone who is not ready to make compromises and concessions for his loved one, trying only to defend himself and blame, he is hardly eager to continue the relationship.
Of course, there may be other signs of fading love. But it's important to remember that with the right approach, many relationships can be saved. And before you take the decisive step, you need to carefully weigh the pros and cons.
Marriage agreement - psychological content
The formation of intrafamily communication can be greatly influenced by the "marriage agreement". This concept is proposed by a psychodynamic approach, where traditionally much attention is paid to unconscious or poorly understood elements of behavior. P. Martin and K. Sager are considering "Spousal contract (agreement)" how an unwritten individual contract that includes the hopes and promises that each of the partners who marry brings. These are the ideas of the individual about how he should behave in the family and how his spouse should behave. It may concern all aspects of family life, including out-of-family contacts, career, physical health, money, etc. For example, a marriage agreement on the part of a wife may have the following content. A good husband should have strong physical health - this is important, because perhaps she connects good health with the ability to cope with life's difficulties, or maybe she is simply afraid of the need to care for the sick. He has to earn enough money to provide her with a certain standard of living, such as the one that was in her parents' house. He must occupy a certain place on the career ladder, etc. The husband also has his own ideas about what his wife should do, with whom she can communicate, how to relate to work, etc. This agreement has mutual character, because it contains what each is supposed to give and what he wants to receive.
It is important to emphasize that the spousal agreement in most cases is not a contract in the literal sense of the word- spouses may never tell each other their expectations out loud, but at the same time they behave as if each of them approved and signed this agreement.
A spousal agreement can be:
conscious and verbalized;
conscious and non-verbalized;
unconscious.
The individual elements of individual agreements are determined by the wishes and needs of the individuals. Needs can be healthy and realistic, or neurotic and conflicting. In the case when the marriage agreement is based on neurotic needs, conflicting expectations about the partner are created: the individual may, for example, strive for independence and wait for the protection and care of himself from the partner. The spousal agreement is usually unconscious in this case.
Unconscious and internally conflicting marriage agreements impede the formation of intrafamily communication.
In a harmonious marriage, the expectations of the spouses regarding the behavior of each other coincide, in this case, “the contract is observed,” for example, the husband expects obedience and care from his wife and is ready to provide materially for the family. The wife expects from her husband the provision of material wealth and is ready to take care of him and obey him.
In the case of a disharmonious marriage, the spouses have a feeling that "the contract is not being respected." In this case, the marriage agreement is usually not verbalized, but most often turns out to be unconscious. This can occur if the mutual expectations of the partners are too different, for example, the husband expects to be cared for, and the wife expects help with the housework; or in the case when the marriage agreement of one or both partners is based on neurotic needs.
Due to the fact that everyone behaves differently than expected of him, there is a feeling of deception and a sense of anxiety.
P. Martin and C. Sager believe that working with a disharmonious married couple can be based on a "matrimonial agreement." First, each of the partners separately must realize their requirements and desires, aimed at the other, and verbalize them. Then individual agreements should be worked out so that they become logically consistent, that is, to exclude conflicting desires and unrealistic requirements for a partner. At the last stage, work is carried out on the mutual agreement of marriage relations: the partners together find out what they could sacrifice in their demands for each other and what wishes of the partner they could fulfill. Thus, out of poorly realized desires and claims, a valid "marital agreement" should be formulated, the content of which is known to each of the partners and which they are both willing to abide by.
Thus, "Matrimonial agreement"- these are the expectations of partners in marriage regarding each other, which, in the case of their unconsciousness and non-verbalization, can impede the formation of intrafamily communication.
The main types of marriage scenarios
The idea of the "scenario approach" also originated in the psychodynamic direction and is associated with the name of E. Bern. In his understanding "scenario" (or "script")- it is a certain program available to the individual, in accordance with which he builds his life. The “scenario” is formed in childhood based on the experience of life in the parental family and “parental programming”. "Parental programming" according to E. Bern is indirect instructions that parents give their children about the goals and meanings of life, the place of other people in it, about contacts with the opposite sex, etc., that is, about the whole variety of life manifestations. These instructions are only partially transmitted through the verbal channel. A large amount of information is transmitted non-verbally, with the help of facial expressions, gestures, supporting or judgmental behavior of parents in various situations.
The "life scenarios" thus formed are mostly parts of unconscious, since they are acquired by children at an age when their intellectual abilities and criticality are still extremely weak.
Further theoretical and practical research in the psychodynamic paradigm led to the idea of the existence of "marriage scenarios". "Marriage script"- it is an individual's, most often an unconscious idea of how his relationship should develop in marriage. It is believed that the development of an individual's relationship in marriage and his behavior with his spouse is largely due to an unconscious tendency to repeat the family patterns of his parents or relationships with close relatives (siblings).
Parent model. In accordance with this model, the individual learns marital behavior based on identification with the parent of his gender. The parent of the opposite sex also plays an important role in this process: on the basis of his behavior, an idea of how the partner should behave is built. Forms of parental relationships become for the individual the standard of family relationships.
In marriage, each partner tries to adapt his real relationship with his spouse to his inner ideas. Often, under the influence of falling in love, partners show compliance, partially abandoning their program, which generates internal conflict. But after a while, the internal program makes itself felt, the individual has a tendency to return to the programmed path. This creates marital conflicts if the behavior of partners deviates from their programs. Thus, harmonious relations in marriage become possible only if the partner resembles a parent of the opposite sex with his internal program. In the psychodynamic approach, it is believed that such behavioral programs tend to be passed on from generation to generation, and not only the choice of a partner is repeated, but also the mistakes and problems of the parents.
1. The child learns from the parent of the same sex the conjugal role, the unconditional acceptance of which is beneficial and convenient, while the rejection of it deprives of self-confidence and contributes to the emergence of neuroses.
The parental family model basically defines the family model that children create, for example, a child from a patriarchal family will strive to implement the patriarchal model in his family. In the marriage of partners from opposing families, there will be conflicts and power struggles.
The image of the parent of the opposite sex significantly influences the choice of a spouse. If this image was positive, then the choice of a partner similar to the parent creates the preconditions for a harmonious marriage. If the role of the parent in the family was negative and the child could not accept it, then a partner with similar characteristics becomes a source of negative emotions. In this case, the individual is looking for a partner with different characteristics. However, such a choice is a source of internal conflict - the individual feels that he cannot come to terms with some of the characteristics of his partner.
According to this approach, marital ties can be complimentary, partly complimentary and non-complimentary. Complementarity means that each partner wants to do what the other does not want to do. Partners complement each other. For example, one wants to dominate, while the other likes to obey; one wants to be cared for, while the other likes to be cared for, etc.
Complimentary marriage
- this is such a union in which each of the spouses occupies the same position that he had in relation to brothers and sisters in the parental family.
For example, a man who was an older brother and had a sister (or sisters), learned how to deal with girls, feels responsible for them, helps them. If his wife also had an older brother, she easily adapts to the dominant position of her husband, accepts his care and help. The roles of both spouses are complementary. Equally complimentary will be a union in which the wife was the older sister and the husband was the younger brother. Their expectations of each other's behavior will also coincide, although they will play different roles in their family: the wife will take the leadership, and the husband will obey her.
Partially complimentary marriage arises in the case when one or both partners had in the parental family several types of ties with their brothers and sisters, of which at least one coincides with that of the partner.
Uncomplementary marriage occurs when the spouses occupied the same position in the parental family, for example, both were older children. In this case, in the family, each of them will claim leadership; the situation would be even more aggravated if each of them had only siblings of the same sex and, accordingly, had no experience of communication with the opposite sex. Marriages concluded between individuals who were the only children in parental families also often turn out to be non-complementary.
Thus, "Marriage scenarios"- these are unconscious programs of behavior formed at an early age in accordance with which the individual builds his family life. They can both promote and hinder adaptive behavior in marriage. In the latter case, psychological work is aimed at their awareness and correction.
Types of psychological relationships in marriage
The previously described types of marriages (complementary, partly complementary and non-complementary) can be considered both as certain life scenarios and as the corresponding types of relationships in marriage. The same applies to other types of marriage relationships: due to their stability and repeatability (in the case of a change of partner), they can be simultaneously considered as “marriage scenarios”.
In the psychoanalytic approach, it is proposed to highlight certain types of personality and their possible combinations, successful and unsuccessful for married life. At the same time, the distinguished personality types are not types in the literal sense of the word - they are not so much a constellation of personality traits as a description of sustainable ways of behaving with a marriage partner. Here is the classification offered by experts.
Equality-oriented partner expects equal rights and responsibilities.
Romantic partner expects spiritual consent, wants to create strong bonds of love, sentimental symbols are of great importance to him. Feels cheated when a partner refuses to play these romantic games with him.
Parent partner takes care of another with pleasure, educates him.
Children's partner brings some spontaneity, spontaneity and joy to marriage, but, at the same time, gains power over the other through the manifestation of weakness and helplessness.
Rational partner monitors the manifestation of emotions, precisely respects rights and obligations. Responsible person, sober in assessments. Adapts well to life, despite the fact that the partner does not behave in the same way. May be wrong about their partner's feelings.
Friendly partner wants to be a partner and is looking for the same companion with whom he could share everyday worries, live life. Does not pretend to romantic love and accepts the usual hardships of family life as inevitable.
Independent partner keeps a certain distance in marriage in relation to his partner. Seeks to avoid unnecessary intimacy in the relationship and wants the partner to respect these requirements.
both partners are of the parent type;
both partners are of the child type;
one partner is of the parental or child type, the other is of the independent type;
one romantic partner, the other- equal to the moral, rational, independent or childish type.
Marriage romantic partners represents a tense and insufficiently stable union, since romantic relationships gradually fade over time, and both partners may begin to look for them in other relationships outside of marriage. If we try to draw any parallels with the views of other authors, then we can say that this is a marriage of partners who have not reached the stage mature love.
Other psychodynamic scholars describe the following non-constructive types of relationships associated with the personality traits of partners:
the wife has a romantic-hysterical type, suffers from a lack of attention and affection, and the husband is cold, has a psychosthenic character;
the husband is looking for a mother in his wife who would constantly take care of him;
both partners are dependent type;
both partners (or one of them) are paranoid.
The couple are deeply disappointed. The wife begins to criticize her husband's silent and "insensitive" behavior. She feels misunderstood, emotionally dissatisfied, as a result of which she tries to provoke a scandal or attacks her husband. The husband perceives his wife's overly emotional behavior as unacceptable, her tendency to dramatize and "scandalous" behavior tires him. The marriage moves from the category of "kind parent" and "kind child" to the category of "cold parent" and "intolerable child."
Often in such a marriage, the husband's behavior can reinforce the wife's hysterical behavior, which was initially insignificant. This happens in cases where the emotional coldness of the husband is clearly expressed, he is pedantic and prone to reasoning instead of decisive action. Usually he remains indifferent to his wife's attempts to involve him in joint activities, is ironic or hostile, until the aggressive or hysterical behavior of his wife forces him to cooperate. The wife can count on the fulfillment of her desires or get her husband's cooperation only in those cases if she gives him a tantrum. Thus, her hysterical behavior is reinforced.
The husband who sees his wife as a mother("Passively dependent husband and dominant wife"). We can probably say that the nature of the relationship in such a marriage is similar to that described in the previous version, only the spouses change roles in it. Here, a man is usually characterized by a lack of personal and emotional maturity. He is distinguished by increased emotional sensitivity, requires attention and care, traditionally male traits in his behavior are not very pronounced. They usually marry for love at a very young age, even before they are able to provide for their own family. Doubts about one's own masculinity are resolved by choosing a wife who is able to take on her husband's problems. Usually he chooses a woman who does not strive for a traditional female role and does not feel well in a dependent position; she chooses a husband who is easy to subdue. The behavior of such a woman resembles that of a mother - she is reliable, consistent and patient.
In cases of conflict, the wife tries to suppress her husband. The husband's reaction is "passive-aggressive behavior" and depression.
The wife's inability to get what she wants from her husband causes hostility and irritability.
At first, the husband is attracted by the independence of his wife, he wants to use her strength. His wife helps him with his work and promotion. But as he acquires financial independence and the initial romantic coloring of his relationship with his wife fades, he finds himself a mistress, as a rule, similar in personal characteristics to his wife. Often he seeks to marry his mistress, who in marriage behaves in the same way as the first wife.
Vraki with two-way addiction. In this marriage, both partners are dependent and immature. Both dream of love, while each of them thinks that he gives in marriage more than he receives. In cases of conflict, both have attacks of rabies, both behave like children. Neither seeks to take an interest in the other's problems.
Paranoid marital relationship. V In such a marriage relationship, one of the partners, as a rule, humiliates and suppresses the other, persecuting him with his suspicions. Both have low self-esteem and low ratings of a partner, but continue to live with each other, since the presence of such a partner serves as a psychological justification for their lifestyle. Such a marriage can be regarded as a sado-masochistic union described by E. Fromm. There are different options for such marriages.
A paranoid husband and a depressed wife. This marriage involves an angry, suspicious and jealous husband who has lost his manhood, and a wife with low self-esteem, who allows herself to blame, since she believes that she will not find anyone better for herself. Often the husband reminds her of her father, who did not recognize her, or abandoned her.
A husband with a penchant for depression, a wife with a penchant for paranoid behavior. A jealous wife chooses a husband who is prone to depression. The wife's suspicion serves as an excuse for the husband that he should not strive for contacts with others, the outside world, which seems to him threatening.
symmetric;
complimentary;
meta complementary.
V symmetrical In marriage, both spouses have equal rights, none of them is subordinate to the other. Problems are resolved through agreement, exchange, or compromise. V complimentary In marriage, one of the partners obeys the other: one gives orders, the other expects advice or instructions. V meta complementary In marriage, a leading position is achieved by one of the partners through manipulating the other: he realizes his own goals by emphasizing his weakness, inexperience, ineptitude or powerlessness.
There are other typologies of relationships in marriage, built on different grounds, depending on what the researcher's interest is focused on. When working with a specific family that has problems in relationships, you can rely on any classification that is most appropriate in this situation. The use of psychoanalytic classifications to a greater extent involves working with intrapersonal conflicts of one of the spouses (in more rare cases, both spouses). The use of other classifications, in which adaptive and non-adaptive types are distinguished, rather focuses on replacing less adaptive interaction options with more adaptive ones.
Thus, types of marriages are, in fact, various options for intrafamily communications.
Types of sexual relationships in marriage
The literature on this topic describes several types of sexual behavior in men and women. The following types of male sexual behavior can be distinguished.
Stabilizing type. For a man with a stabilizing type of sexual behavior, sex is a way to release the accumulated tension. Sexual tension distracts, interferes with some important work. Sexuality provides the best background for other activities (for example, this type of behavior was characteristic of Napoleon).
Game type. A man of this type combines sexual and romantic principles. Intimate communication itself is realized as joyful creativity, a game (for example, Kazakova).
Standard type. Man standard type of sex is considered as a duty. He does not have a pronounced sexual desire, but has the task of meeting the requirements of his wife. The structure of sexual intercourse is standard.
Genital type. It is typical for men with reduced intelligence. For them, sexual behavior is determined only by physiology, sexual instinct. Such a person is, figuratively speaking, "a prisoner of his genitals" (for example, chronic alcoholics, rapists).
Mother woman. Such a woman unconsciously seeks to play the role of a mother. It is characterized by the desire to patronize, rule. She can unconsciously get carried away and choose a loser, sick man as a partner. The weakness of a man stimulates her sexuality.
Woman-woman. Inside this type, there are two different behaviors:
b) passive type. Female passive type as an ideal chooses a strong man to whom she wants to mindlessly obey. Characteristic fantasies are associated with a plot where a man takes possession of her. Prefers assertive, decisive, aggressive men, whose behavior contains signs of violence.
Woman daughter. The ideal husband for such a woman is a man older than her, with rich life experience, who is well versed in everyday situations. A woman, choosing such a man, wants to feel young, weak, and driven. In sex, these women value knowledge more than activity.
Father man. Such a man feels the need to patronize, loves to patronize, seeks submission and dependence on himself.
He is elegant, has a rich sexual experience, and looks after beautifully. Low sexual potential is compensated by a skillfully selected intimate setting. In the behavior of women, he values the ability to fully surrender, be naive and weak. A woman should admire him, experiencing constant gratitude. She does not have the right to change her behavior to a more active and independent one.
Male-male. The active and passive types are also distinguished here:
b) passive type. This type of man strives for a strong, independent woman. Subconsciously, he is attracted to a masculine woman (women are attracted by strength, athletic physique, tall stature, authoritarian behavior). He is ready to obey, to be the object of reprimands, claims.
A man-son. This type of men is characterized by dependence, a desire to obey, capriciousness, immaturity of actions, dependence on a woman, fragility, indecision.
The danger awaits the pair where the unambiguous types coincide (for example, the union "woman-daughter" and "man-son" will be inharmonious, since each of the partners will expect initiative from the other, wanting to receive guardianship and patronage).
Considering various typologies of sexual behavior of partners in marriage, it can be concluded that the lines sexual behavior is largely determined by the personality traits of the partners. In this regard, conflicts in the sexual sphere can generate conflicts in all areas of family life.
Whether you live like a cat and a dog, put your soul mate on a podium, or think your spouse is foolish - each type of relationship has its own Achilles heel.
If you understand what type your couple belongs to, then you are able to understand both your own needs and the needs of your partner, - reports the British edition of The Daily mail and presents to the readers' judgment another classification of relationships (according to which scenario your relationship depends a lot on what your parent's relationship was.)
1. "Fan and idol"
Star example: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes
There are no halftones in this scenario - everything is black and white. One of the partners is the deity worshiped by the second spouse. The “idol” thus raises his self-esteem and often feeds the “fan” with stories, how lucky he is, because he is unlikely to be able to find another person who will love him so much. As a rule, such relationships are doomed to be short, because they have no prospects. One and the same "idol" is usually characterized by a series of short-term romances with different fans. However, they stay near the “idol” for a short time, because they go in search of a better life under the motto “You don’t appreciate me, I’ll find someone who will love me.” Perhaps that is why we are constantly haunted by rumors that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes on the verge of divorce?
2. "Cat and dog"
Star example: Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffith
This couple constantly quarrels noisily, then makes up no less loudly and does not hesitate to sort things out in public. They now and then compete with each other, their whole personal life is a struggle. But it is only necessary for those around them, impressed by another spectacular scandal, to offer them to part, the reaction of the couple will be very unambiguous. “Are you crazy?” They chorus. "Cat and dog" is never bored, as a rule, the reconciliation process ends in the bedroom with violent and passionate sex.
"But if one of the partners starts an affair on the side or does something else that undermines the trust of the other half, this relationship turns into hell," says psychologist Susan Quilliam. "If their eternal struggle is no longer fueled by a sense of security, the breakup will be very difficult and messy."
3. "Come on, catch up!"
Stellar Example: David and Victoria Beckham
In this scenario, one partner is constantly chasing the other, trying to get his attention and love. The one who is being pursued, as a rule, pretends that everything is going as it should, while the other half enjoys the thrill of the chase. At some point - when they get bored, partners change roles. At the same time, in fact, both are driven by the same fear - the fear of showing that they need someone else besides themselves. This alliance is threatened with disintegration if he and she cease to change roles.
4. "Fathers and Sons"
Stellar example: Dami Moore and Ashton Kutcher
"I have two children - a child and ... a husband" - this joke perfectly describes the relationship that has developed in this couple (however, it does not have to be "mommy" and "son", "father" and "daughter" as well have a right to exist). One partner feels in himself a responsibility for the upbringing of his other half, which he considers to be little adapted to life. Such a scenario often begins to develop after the birth of children or when one of the partners becomes vulnerable (for example, gets sick or loses his job).
The “parents” in this scenario like having a purpose in life - when caring for “children” they realize that they have found a meaning for being, ”says psychologist Susan Quilliam. The prospects of such a couple may turn out to be dim, if the “parent” begins to put pressure on the “child” too much, because upbringing, as a rule, also implies control (it is very important that it does not become total).
5. "Sweet couple"
Stellar example: Kate Moss and Jamie Hince
Such a pair resembles lovebirds parrots, they have everything in common - from a hobby to a manner of dressing. Partners are very similar to each other, they are more likely best friends than passionate lovers. As a rule, such a scenario is typical for relationships that have just begun to take shape, maybe both spouses have a sad experience of parting behind them and now the main thing that they need is safety. The danger that may lie in wait for this union is that he and she are locked on each other, creating a system into which it is almost impossible to penetrate from the outside. Sometimes not only friends, but even children fail. Also, a complete merger can lead to problems in the sexual sphere - it is not very interesting to have sex with a friend, is it?
6. Union of adults
Star example: Monica Bellucci and Vincent Cassel
This is a relationship between two mature people who wisely accept each other's characteristics and avoid conflicts. “They are healthy thinkers and try to support each other,” says Susan Quilliam. Sounds great, but in practice there are pitfalls here too.
These two will never get to the dark depths of each other's souls, and therefore in such unions there is a sorely lack of spark. Such relationships lack emotionality and spontaneity.
thanks lady-forever.ru
Termination of the contract by agreement of the parties - the Civil Code of the Russian Federation contains its procedure in clause 1 of Art. 450. Often partners come to the conclusion that cooperation has exhausted itself and the relationship needs to be terminated. What nuances you need to pay attention to when terminating an agreement by mutual agreement, we will consider in this article.
Cases when the contract can be terminated by agreement of the parties
Analyzing legal practice, the following typical cases of termination of an agreement by mutual agreement can be distinguished:
- One of the parties no longer needed further cooperation. This may be due to the achievement of a specific goal or, conversely, the conviction that it is impossible to achieve it.
- Circumstances have come when further cooperation does not make sense (flooding of the territory, demolition of a building, adoption of a prohibiting law, etc.).
- One of the partners cannot fulfill their obligations on time and, without waiting for negative consequences, proposes to terminate the contract.
Note! A state or municipal contract under FZ-44 can also be terminated by agreement of the parties, however, unilateral termination of a contract under FZ-44 is carried out according to special rules, and not only in accordance with the norms of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation
Proposal to terminate the contract by agreement of the parties
Realizing that cooperation has exhausted itself or has become unprofitable, one of the partners makes an offer to the counterparty to terminate the relationship. As a rule, this is done in writing, by composing a letter with approximately the following content: “Dear Albert Pavlovich, due to the unprofitability of production and the closure of the division at _______, we ask you to terminate the contract for cleaning the rented premises from 01.12.2016. Payment for services until the termination of the contract by mutual agreement was made in full. "
For convenience and speed of decision-making, a developed document is attached to such a letter, which the partner, upon agreement to part, only needs to sign. Large companies generally have strict documentation standards and offer custom-made agreements for signature.
Form of termination of the contract by agreement of the parties
Item 1, Art. 452 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation contains a provision stating that an agreement on termination of an agreement by mutual agreement must be concluded in the same form as the agreement itself. An oral agreement is terminated orally, a written one - by drawing up an appropriate document by the parties. A contract requiring notarization can only be terminated with the participation of a notary. Termination of the contract to be registered must also be registered.
Failure to comply with the form of termination leads to the recognition of the contract as valid by the court, the obligations of the parties - continuing, which entails collection from the consumer of their cost. An example is the position of the Supreme Court, expressed in the ruling of 09/14/2015 in case No. А40-47398 / 2014.
The termination agreement usually contains the date from which the obligations end. If it is absent, the date of signing the document is taken into account. Also, the obligations of the parties, which they guarantee to fulfill, or the provision that the parties have fulfilled the promised under the contract in full, may be spelled out.
Consequences of termination of the contract by agreement of the parties
Based on paragraph 2 of Art. 453 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation, the signing by the parties of an agreement on termination of the contract entails the termination of the partners' obligations, unless otherwise prescribed by law or contract. More details about other grounds for termination of obligations can be found in the article “ What are the grounds for termination of obligations? ".
There are obligations that are not affected by the termination of the contract. These include:
- collection of debts under the contract that arose before the termination or after termination until the actual moment of termination of the parties' actions (resolution of the cassation instance of June 24, 2015 in case No. A36-5038 / 2014);
- the right to demand penalties and fines for violation of obligations, which are subject to accrual until the termination of the contract (definition of the Supreme Arbitration Court of the Russian Federation dated 07.09.2011 No. VAS-9825/11);
- preservation of the contractor's guarantee after termination of the contract in respect of the work performed (resolution of the Federal AS of the Volgo-Vyatka District of 13.08.2009 in case No. A31-852 / 2008).
In the event that one of the partners has accepted the performance under the contract from the other, but itself has not fulfilled its obligations, the counterparty has the right to demand the performance back as unjust enrichment.
This provision was introduced by para. 2 p. 4 art. 453 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation, which entered into force on 01.06.2015. It consolidated the approach to the qualification of such cases, previously developed by judicial practice (Resolution of the Plenum of the Supreme Arbitration Court of the Russian Federation of 06.06.2014 No. 35).
Also, the parties have the opportunity to prescribe the consequences of termination of the contract, other than those indicated above. In such cases, the courts are guided by the will of the participants in legal relations (ruling of the Supreme Court of the Russian Federation dated 06.10.2015 in case No. A68-2906 / 2014).
The right to compensation for losses upon termination of the contract by agreement of the parties
Item 5, Art. 453 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation provides for the partner's right to claim compensation for losses upon termination of the contract if the basis was a significant violation of the contract by the other partner. We have already said that often in case of violation of obligations by one of the counterparties, the parties resolve the matter peacefully and terminate the agreement by mutual agreement.
To recover damages, the following factors are required:
- a significant nature of the violation;
- counterparty's fault;
- the presence of losses;
- the existence of a causal relationship between the violation and the loss.
IMPORTANT! The presence of the offender's guilt is assumed until the opposite is proven.
Thus, when terminating the contract by agreement of the parties, in order to avoid subsequent disputes, you need to pay attention to a number of conditions. In particular, compliance with the form of the agreement, the absence of continuing obligations, such as warranty periods and liability for violations of obligations preceding the termination of the contract.
