Venus men from Mars active select lt. John Gray: Men are from Mars, women are from Venus

Imagine that the ancestral home of men was Mars, and that of women was Venus. One fine day, the Martians, looking through their telescopes, saw Venusians in them, and this sight awakened hitherto unknown feelings in the inhabitants of the red planet. Having completely fallen in love, the Martians quickly invented a spaceship and rushed to Venus.
The ladies welcomed them with open arms. Intuition had long told them that this day would someday come, and their hearts opened to a never-before-experienced love.
The love between Venusians and Martians changed their lives in the most magical way. They enjoyed each other's company, the communication, the things they could do together. Children of different worlds, they discovered an abyss of interesting things in the differences between them and simply reveled in studying each other, their very different needs, inclinations, and behavior patterns in certain situations. They lived for many years in love and harmony.
But one fine day they decided to move to Earth. At first, everything went wonderfully for them, but... The influence of the earth’s atmosphere turned out to be such that one morning, when the unsuspecting men and women woke up once again, it was discovered that they had all partially lost their memory. Moreover, this amnesia was of a very peculiar - selective nature.
Both Martians and Venusians forgot that they come from different planets and that, as a result, they themselves are different. One single morning was enough for everything they had learned about their differences to be completely erased from their memory. From that very morning, men and women began to clash and continue to do so to this day.

DIFFERENT, DIFFERENT...

Not knowing that they are supposed to be different, men and women never tire of heaping mountains of grievances and reproaches on each other. We become angry and disappointed in each other precisely because we have forgotten this most important truth. We expect the same reactions and behavior from the opposite sex as we expect from ourselves. We want “he” or “she” to want what we want and feel the same way we do.
We mistakenly assume that if our partner (partner) loves us, then he (she) will behave in the same way as we do when we love someone. This position brings us one disappointment after another, and we suffer ourselves, torment ourselves and our partner - instead of taking a moment and calmly, patiently, like two loving people, sort out our differences.

We mistakenly assume that if our partner loves us, then he will behave the same way we do when we love someone.

Men mistakenly believe that women think, feel, react to certain things in the same way as men themselves; Women mistakenly believe that men think, feel and react the same way as women. We have forgotten that men and women are inherently different from each other. As a result, our relationships are riddled with unnecessary friction.

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John Gray's book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus was first published in 1992 and immediately became a bestseller. Such popularity is due, first of all, to the fact that the author’s position, which became the basis of the book, is completely different from the opinion of the majority. John Gray does not try to find common or similar features in the behavior of people of both sexes, he, on the contrary, points out their complete opposite, so obvious that the metaphor that became the title of the book reflects it perfectly - men and women are so different, as if they were.

The book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” reveals these differences as fully as possible, explains the true reasons for most of the differences that arise in gender relations, and helps men and women look at each other in a completely new way. We recommend reading this book to anyone who wants to get rid of problems and misunderstandings in relationships with family, loved ones or business partners, and also learn to find a common language with them in absolutely any situation.

About John Gray

John Gray is known in the United States and around the world as one of the leading experts in the field and relationships between people. Doctor of Philosophy, who received his degree from Columbia-Pacific University, has been giving lectures and organizing private and public seminars on the psychology of human relationships for 20 years.

John Gray is the author of numerous books, translated into most languages ​​of the world, which have helped thousands of people around the world improve their relationships with loved ones and business partners. The author's works are published in famous magazines and newspapers. In addition, John Gray regularly appears on radio and TV.

Summary of the book “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus”

The book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” consists of an introduction and 13 chapters, divided in turn into several thematic sections.

The book's introduction is quite literally John Gray's revelation. The author tells a story that took place in his relationship with his wife during one of the difficult periods of their family life - the birth of their daughter. According to the author, it was the case he described in the introduction that served as the reason for the beginning of his 7-year study of the differences between men and women, which as a result became the basis of the book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.”

Chapter 1. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus

The first chapter of the book is essentially introductory and reveals in its four parts the main differences between men and women, which will be discussed in detail in the remaining chapters of the book.

Chapter 2. Mr. Problem Solver and the Home Improvement Committee

The second chapter is devoted to the study and detailed analysis of the differences in the views of men and women on most phenomena, circumstances and things. In this chapter, the author highlights the two most important mistakes in gender relations: men tend to offer a solution to any problem, completely disregarding feelings, and women have the habit of starting to advise, while no one asked them to do so. After reading the second chapter, you will understand your main mistakes in relationships with the opposite sex and can begin to correct them.

Chapter 3. The man goes into his cave, and the woman begins to talk

The third chapter talks about how men and women, highlighting the main difference: men, as a rule, prefer to “take a break” and think about a problem, while women, on the contrary, need to talk about the problem immediately. From this chapter you will understand which behavior strategy will be the best when a conflict arises.

Chapter 4. On the motivation of a representative of the opposite sex

In the fourth chapter, the author talks about the main methods of behavior of men and women. The point is that for men the main incentive is the understanding that they are counting on him and need his support, while for women the support and encouragement from loved ones plays a huge role. In this chapter, the author will reveal the three most important steps that will allow you to significantly improve your relationships with loved ones. You will also understand what exactly prevents men from openly expressing their feelings, and women from accepting care and love.

Chapter 5. We speak different languages

The fifth chapter will open your eyes to what really prevents men and women from understanding each other - you will learn that representatives of different sexes speak completely different languages. This chapter is a kind of dictionary containing a number of basic expressions that men and women interpret very differently. Surprisingly, representatives of different sexes usually not only speak, but even remain silent for completely different reasons. After reading the chapter, women will be able to learn how to behave correctly in those moments when men are silent, and men will be able, and most importantly, to hear women without experiencing dissatisfaction or disappointment.

Chapter 6. On the similarity between a man and a rubber suspender

The sixth chapter of the book is devoted to a detailed consideration of the needs of the opposite sexes in the sphere of personal relationships. The author talks about the behavior that is typical of men - first to destroy all barriers to the object of his passion, and then suddenly move away for a while. After reading this chapter, women will understand how best to behave so that a man will definitely come back after his temporary distance, and how to successfully choose the moment for a serious conversation.

Chapter 7. And women are like waves

In the seventh chapter, the author explains to men how to correctly understand the behavior of women in love relationships, talking about the “ups” and “downs” that periodically occur in women. After reading this chapter, men will be able to react completely calmly to such changes, and will also understand when a woman most needs their support. Moreover, this support will not at all be an unbearable sacrifice for a man.

Chapter 8. About the dissimilarity of our emotional needs

The eighth chapter talks about what expectations men and women have from love relationships. The author explains that both men and women, as a rule, give their partner not the love that he expects from them, but the love that they want to feel for themselves. A man in a relationship craves trust and simplicity, he wants to be valued and accepted for who he is. A woman in love seeks care, respect and understanding from her partner. From the eighth chapter, you will learn that there are six seemingly ordinary things that can push your partner away from you.

Chapter 9. How to avoid quarrels

The ninth chapter is devoted to the analysis of quarrels between representatives of opposite sexes. After reading it, it will become clear to men that constantly defending one’s rightness will not only not help to keep a woman, but will also lead to her losing all her feelings. Women will understand that a man regards their habitual way of expressing disagreement as disapproval and immediately begins to defend himself. From the ninth chapter you will learn about quarrels, how they occur and how you can avoid them.

Chapter 10. The point system as a method of evaluation in relationships with the opposite sex

In the tenth chapter, the author talks about the importance that men and women attach to signs of attention. Men will understand that attention is very important for women; they appreciate absolutely every pleasant little thing, and not just expensive gifts for the usual holidays. In this chapter, the author gives 101 ways to increase your “rating” in the eyes of the woman you love. Women will also benefit from reading this chapter, from which they will learn how to correctly direct their energy to get what they want and at the same time give a man what he needs.

Chapter 11. The ability to express negative feelings in the process of communication

The eleventh chapter touches on the behavior of men and women in particularly difficult moments in life. In it, the author talks about how men and women hide their true feelings and experiences, and also about how important it is to explain to your partner exactly what you feel. In addition, you can find out the letter by telling about your experiences so that he understands, forgives you and begins to love you even more.

Chapter 12. How to Ask for Support and Get It

After reading the twelfth chapter, you will understand why it is very difficult for women to ask for help and why men react with hostility to such requests. Women will be able to learn how to choose the right phrases to express their requests and learn how to positively influence a man if he is stingy in expressing his feelings. Plus, you'll be surprised at the wonders that directness, brevity, and well-chosen words can do.

Chapter 13. How to preserve the magical power of love

In the thirteenth chapter, the author talks about how there are “seasons” in love. An accurate understanding of them will help you in the problems that will arise in your relationship. From the last chapter of the book, you will learn what you can do to maintain the flame of love and how to prevent it from dying out over time.

Brief summary

Each chapter of the book is aimed at helping all couples in love learn to understand each other, build harmoniously and, most importantly, maintain a strong, happy relationship for many years.

The book “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. John Gray" by Tom Butler-Bowdon is a condensed summary of a book known throughout the world. Relationship problems concern almost every person, both men and women. It is very important to understand that no two people are exactly alike; everyone has their own values ​​and opinions. This understanding alone will help avoid many conflicts.

The title of the book suggests that man and woman are creatures from different planets. Of course, this is a figurative expression, but if you imagine that it is so, that everyone lives in their own way and is not familiar with the world of the other, then it will become easier to accept each other’s shortcomings.

Men and women behave differently in the same situation. They are happy and worried in different ways, they get angry in their own way, their attitude towards family and work can be radically different, they solve problems in different ways. For example, it is important for a woman to talk. When she does this, she herself becomes better able to understand the current situation and the course of further actions. Men consider such conversations to be empty chatter, they get irritated, believing that it is better to say a couple of sentences, but to the point, and begin to solve the problem without wasting time on hour-long retellings and reasoning. And there are many such examples in the book.

The author of this book has collected all the most important things you need to know about relationships in order to learn to understand each other. This book can be read in a very short time, it is well suited for those who feel its deficiency. However, every sentence you write should be carefully considered, and over time you may find yourself thinking that you now treat people of the opposite sex differently.

The work was published in 2003 by the publishing house: Eksmo. The book is part of the 10 Minute Read series. On our website you can download the book "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. John Gray" in fb2, rtf, epub, pdf, txt format or read online. The book's rating is 3.08 out of 5. Here, before reading, you can also turn to reviews from readers who are already familiar with the book and find out their opinion. In our partner's online store you can buy and read the book in paper form.

The book by the famous American author John Gray Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, translated into Russian “Men from Mars, Women from Venus”, is one of the most famous works on the psychology of relationships. This work was published in 1993 and almost immediately became a bestseller.

What is the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" about? This is family psychologist John Gray's guide to between a man and a woman.

Author biography

First, let's touch a little on the biography of the American writer and therapist. Gray was born in Houston, Texas in 1951. His father was the head of an oil refining company, his mother worked in a bookstore that sold esoteric works. His parents were both Christians and taught him yoga. As a child, his parents invited him to visit the Indian saint Yogananda. The autobiographies of famous yoga masters inspired him much later in life. Upbringing in spiritual classical traditions affected Gray's worldview.

He graduated from Lamar High School. He studied at the University of St. Thomas, also at the University of Texas, but did not graduate from higher education. Received bachelor's and master's degrees in psychological sciences. Information about the university where he received his degree varies. Whether this degree was obtained from the unaccredited Maharishi European Studies University (MERU) in Switzerland or the fully accredited Maharishi International University in Fairfield is unknown.

In 1982, Gray received his PhD from Columbia Pacific University, a now-defunct institution then located in San Rafael, California.

Personal life

Gray is a marriage and family therapist and a member of the American Counseling Association and the International Association of Marriage and Family Counselors. married the also famous author of books on psychology, Barbara De Angelis, they divorced in 1984, not finding mutual understanding in the couple. The divorce forced him to re-evaluate everything he thought about relationships between the sexes. He believes that what makes women happy is completely different from what makes men happy. Gray married his current wife, Bonnie, in 1986, meaning they have been married for over thirty years. He has a daughter and two stepsons.

The beginning of a creative journey

In 1969, Gray attended lectures on Transcendental Meditation. Later he took a vow of celibacy and became the personal assistant of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. He studied with him for nine years, mastering, according to him, many life and esoteric truths. Gray writes his column in the most famous magazines, the number of his readers reaches 30 million people. The New York Daily News regularly published his articles. Internationally, Gray's publications have appeared in England, Canada, Mexico, Korea, Latin America, and the South Pacific. Such unheard-of popularity can be easily explained by the writer’s radically new approach to the problem of relations between opposite sexes, as ancient as the universe.

Main theme of the book

The content of the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" is entirely devoted to love relationships. Gray in his book examines the topic of relationships between a man and a woman, and also gives a kind of key to understanding the opposite sex. According to him, most typical problems in intimate relationships are the result of fundamental psychological differences between the sexes.

The book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" uses the theory that the male and female sexes are so different that they can be considered aliens from two opposite planets in our Galaxy. Gray uses the images of the deities of Ancient Rome, Mars and Venus, as a metaphor to describe the stereotypes of behavior of men and women. The metaphor of Mars and Venus from this new theory is important for understanding the opposite sex. The book attempts to explore what values ​​men and women have. After all, at our core, our ideas about life are different.

Gray also names the two biggest mistakes people make in relation to the opposite sex: men mistakenly offer solutions and do not give due importance to feelings and emotions, while women offer unsolicited advice and recommendations. By understanding our nature and genetics, it becomes obvious why men and women unknowingly make these mistakes. By remembering these differences, we can correct our mistakes and respond to each other more productively. It is also necessary to understand that men and women deal with stress in different ways. Men tend to withdraw and silently think about what bothers them, women feel a natural need to talk about what worries them.

The author provides new strategies for achieving harmony in relationships in these controversial times. Tips are also given on how to motivate the opposite sex. Generally, men get motivated when they feel needed doing something, while women get motivated when they feel wanted. Three steps are also given to improve relationships and explore ways to overcome the biggest problems: for men, this is the need to overcome resistance to giving love, and for women, to overcome resistance to receiving love.

Using the advice from this book can bring positive results and give you harmonious relationships. The author sees understanding the differences in the nature of the male and female sexes, which are determined by many factors, as the key to mutual understanding. In the book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” the chapters are divided according to the topic of the issue, for example, chapter 4 (“A woman is like a wave”) is devoted to the essence of feminine energy. There are 13 chapters in the book.

John Gray concept

According to Gray, without realizing that men and women are opposites, they will not reach agreement in relationships. People usually get angry with their partner or simply feel disappointed in the opposite sex because they forget this important truth. There are expectations that the opposite sex should be like ourselves.

Men and women want their desires and feelings to coincide with the desires and feelings of their other half. They mistakenly believe that if their partners are loving, they will react and behave in a certain way. There is an expectation that the partner will communicate and behave like his beloved.

This attitude causes you to be disappointed again and again and does not allow you to build a productive love relationship. The male gender expects women to think, behave and express themselves emotionally the way they do. The female gender, in turn, also incorrectly thinks that men feel, communicate and think the way they do. There must be an understanding that men and women are different creatures by nature. As a result, relationships are filled with unnecessary misunderstandings and scandals. Clearly acknowledging and respecting these differences dramatically reduces confusion when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex. Just don’t forget that men and women are “representatives of different planets.” Reader reviews of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" are mostly positive and indicate that many have improved their relationships by applying the advice from the book.

Book success

In 1992, Gray published his book, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, which sold more than seven million copies in its first year. According to a 1997 report from the book's publisher, it is the best-selling hardcover title in book sales history. The book has become a "popular paradigm" for solving problems in relationships based on the difference in the perception of life between men and women. The book's popularity led to commercials, audiotapes, seminars, Broadway shows, and even television comedies starring John Gray. The author also signed a film contract with 20th Century Fox. The book was published in 40 languages ​​and earned Gray nearly $18 million, becoming the most famous publication in popular psychology.

In 1996, Gray co-founded the Mars and Venus Institute with Bart and Maya Behrens. Bart Behrens was president and Maya Behrens was director. In 1997, Gray began opening Mars and Venus Counseling Centers, where he trains therapists in the "Mars and Venus Technique" in exchange for a one-time licensing fee and monthly "royalty payments." However, these projects have been criticized due to their commercialization.

The impact of the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" on society

This work became part of popular culture and received a wide book. The book was published in English in 1992. It was on the bestseller lists for a long time in the 1990s, has been translated into over 40 languages ​​and has sold over 50 million copies to date. One of the quotes from "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" is Gray's advice: "To understand women, you have to be her, and if it is impossible to become her, then you just need to accept them as they are - full of secrets and real attractiveness in their uniqueness." The book has become an ambulance for solving problems in partnerships and marital relationships that arise due to gender differences. Understanding your partner and accepting his needs is the main idea of ​​the book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.” Reviews from psychologists indicate the effectiveness of the advice from the book.

Metaphor as the essence of theory

Gray also says in his interviews and seminars that in order to make it easier to explain his concept, he created a metaphor that men came from the planet Mars, and women from Venus, and that each sex was accustomed to the habits of their planet, often incomprehensible to the other. . This central metaphor comes from the Roman deities Mars and Venus, representing the feminine and masculine, who are opposites of each other, but are still attracted to each other.

Of course, there are critics of Gray's concept. The idea that men and women communicate differently is discussed in the book Myths in Popular Psychology by Scott O. Lilienfeld and his co-authors. The authors note that Gray does not cite any systematic research to support his thesis, and published data do not show significant differences in interpersonal communication.

Reader reviews

Having published his famous work, Gray received a huge number of rave reviews. "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" is a work that is one of the three most influential books published over the past 30 years. The author has released various recordings of trainings and educational programs on the topics of sexuality and relationships. Putting the techniques and tips from this book into practice will bear fruit. The main thing, according to the author, is the desire to develop.

His fans and readers of the book leave thousands of inspiring reviews. "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" is a practical guide to improving the ability to communicate with the opposite sex.

Statements by John Gray

Gray has made numerous media appearances, including on The Oprah Winfrey Show and his interviews have been published in Newsweek, People and Forbes magazines. In a June 2017 interview with Agence France-Presse, Gray made a statement regarding feminism: "One of the reasons there are so many divorces is that feminism promotes women's independence. I'm very happy that women will gain more independence, but when you go too far in this direction, who will take care of the home?" He also stated that his books sold much better in Australia and Latin America due to the more traditional views of the female population in these countries.

Regarding Internet pornography, Gray stated that "with free access to the Internet, pornography has become a mass addiction," adding that millions upon millions of people experience sexual gratification through fantasy. The effect that porn has on the brain is similar to heroin. Regarding phone sex and other things, he states: "When you have sex with an impersonal person, it promotes sex addiction, and the same goes for pornography." All this, in his opinion, represents phenomena that destroy traditional family values.

John Gray, based on many years of therapeutic practice, gives advice on how to recognize the differences in the emotional needs and behavior of men and women in order to better understand their partners. Gray writes in his book that a common misconception among women is that promiscuity will give them a sense of self-worth. In order to feel special again, a woman is often tempted to use sex as a means of gaining a man's attention and love.

Unfortunately, this approach leads to disastrous results. Setting out in search of love, a woman understands that her self-esteem depends on the attention of the opposite sex. But in fact, she should initially feel worthy of a great feeling, and only then build a relationship. Otherwise, such a sick addiction will scare away the partner, and she will again suffer heart trauma. Healing the soul is the best way to increase self-esteem and significance of the female personality. It is necessary to take time to experience old feelings instead of immediately entering into a new relationship. Having felt sadness and anger for being neglected in the past, and parting with them with a feeling of forgiveness, people become truly ready for new relationships.

Dr_Motherplaguer

Rated the book

This book will undoubtedly be useful and informative for you if you:
a) live in America
b) watch talk shows of varying degrees of lousiness around the clock, where the same topic is endlessly sucked and licked from all sides
c) it’s even better if, instead of a talk show, you enthusiastically delve into the “shop on the sofa”, where the number of repetitions of the same phrase exceeds the permissible threshold of irritability of the viewer by approximately the same amount as the level of radiation in Fukushima exceeds the norm
d) if you are still indescribably delighted by the brilliant maxims of Captain Obvious
e) if you like it when hackneyed banal truths are drummed into you in the tone of a dearly beloved tyrant mother-in-law
f) if (oh horror!) you are not able to grasp these banal hackneyed truths with your brains

Seriously, I love books like this. Women, don’t you really know that you shouldn’t bother talking to your loved one when he is busy solving global problems of humanity? Guys, seriously, don’t you realize that if your missus is hysterical, it’s enough to provide her with a high-quality dose of exogenous testosterone, and everything will go away by itself?
If you don’t know, then put your feet up and run for a book. Many discoveries await you! That the beloved, it turns out, must be loved. Appreciate, respect, praise and please. Well, sometimes such seemingly obvious things really need to be said in order for your eyes to open.

There is another idea in the book that sparkles with originality. To make the explanation clearer, the author dragged in a fairy tale about how EM supposedly flew straight from Mars, and Jo from Venus, and that’s where it all started. I don’t know why the author didn’t like the familiar and understandable boys and girls, but personally, all these cosmic allusions during reading infuriated me beyond belief. Excuse me, it’s more pleasant for me to think that I’m sleeping with a man, and not with a crazy alien larva who crawled into my bed straight from the red planet.

Half of the methods recommended by the author only work in American conditions. Well, I can’t imagine a Russian woman writing love notes to her betrothed with the following content: “Darling, you’re a bit of an asshole. It’s a big deal, but I still love you.” And the author’s worldview itself is somehow very bipolar. A la “A man thinks this way and only this way, and a woman thinks this way and only that way.” A complete triumph of sexual dimorphism. If you follow the author’s logic, then, excuse me, I’m a man.

But! It is very possible to extract your profit from the book. The main thing is to understand that M and F in the book are given very, very average, so there is no way to avoid a long and tedious correlation with the individual characteristics of your other half. Just as one cannot do without the same tedious interpolation of the Soviets into the harsh Russian life.

And generally speaking. Stop sitting on your ass and reading dubious usefulness books and dubious cleverness reviews. They've spread it here - Mars, Venus, alien-me-yang... Go and love each other already.

Rated the book

Women do not realize the power of their love and try to win the love of a man by doing more for him than they would like.
John Gray (from the book)

How harmful is the book’s popularity in glossy magazines and fashionable cinema? So... a remark about the attitude of readers to this book. Further, I will no longer touch on the issue of its popularity, because I read it on the advice of a good friend, and not at the call of a popular film.

Actually, popular psychology becomes useful extremely rarely. Alas. If only we knew how to not only listen to advice, but also apply it to the right place and for its intended purpose. Worthwhile advice, of course. But it’s as usual: either the plate is full but there is nothing to eat, then we have a spoon and the bowl is empty. The advice of the authors of such literature often remains a notorious red flag. But there are situations in life when everything changes in your life, when the bowl and the spoon converge in a single dimension, and you realize that there is something in it, in reading such books. Only reading should be reflective, with hindsight, and trying on oneself.

I returned to the book in June of this year, as part of the “unfinished construction” game. I decided to finish reading what is called. And my reading would probably be worthless if it weren’t for the tragedy in the family of a close friend. Her husband left her. The family of our friends broke up after 13 years of marriage. This is all I can and want to say here about the motive that prompted me to read this book with increased attention. Everything that happened in the family of friends in the last six months confirmed many of Gray’s conclusions, I cannot help but admit it. Alas, this is a very painful illustration, because you observe it in the example of people dear to you. But, apparently, it was this pain that strengthened not only my impressions of the book, but also my ability to absorb and transform the knowledge that is presented in it.

We all make mistakes. It’s understandable, this is life. But how I would like to understand the essence of these errors at least a little better. How I want to know myself better, first of all. How you want not to be ashamed of your own actions. Well, at least reduce the number of such situations.

Reflection. I really appreciate this quality in people, books, and myself when I succeed. This book became for me a mirror of introspection and observation of others. It gave rise to a lot of thoughts, so I simply could not read it in one gulp, quickly. I spread the reading over the entire summer and almost all of the fall. And as I now understand, my time was not wasted. I have been married for 12 years, my beloved and I have been together for almost 16 years. And I'm still learning to be a good companion to him. Why do I need it?! Because I love him, and I don’t want to hurt him through stupidity and misunderstanding. And I could give here a list of several situations where I behaved differently, remembering what I learned from Gray's book, but I won't do that. This is my experience, unlike anyone else's. And completely useless for any other person. And here it is, this book. No matter how naive it may sound (which doesn’t matter to me at all, even if it is, because I know the value of the changes taking place in me), this book was useful to me.

Rated the book

Heard a lot about this book and finally got around to it. But I was somewhat disappointed.
When reading the book, the excessively frequent repetition of the same thing got in the way. But we must pay tribute to the author: repeating the same thing a dozen times, but in different words, is also a kind of talent...
I started getting bored already from the third or fourth chapter. The judgments are generally correct, but they are expressed in some categorical form, that, they say, this is the only way and nothing else!
At some point, a friend came to the rescue and said that this book had the most interesting chapter about gifts. It turned out to be chapter 10. I confirm: it is truly the most fun chapter of the entire book! :) There, for example, there is a list of actions with which a man can score points in the eyes of a woman. There are 101 actions in total.

"1. The first thing you should do when you return home is hug your wife." ...
"5. For twenty minutes, concentrate all your attention on your wife. At the same time, do not read the newspaper or do anything that could distract you" ("So, time has passed, dear" :)
"24. Hug your wife four times a day" (How did he figure out that optimal number of hugs???)
“26. Tell your wife: “I love you” at least twice a day” (Yeah, and to remember, you can develop in your head, for example, the following connection: “When I go to brush my teeth, I tell my wife that I love her” :))
“37. Be patient when your wife shares her experiences with you. Don’t look at the clock” (How will I know that those 20 minutes are over??)
"46. When you are in public with your wife, pay more attention to her than to others"
"52. Let your wife know that you carry her photo in your wallet. Change the photo from time to time" (What about changing it to a photo of your new mistress?)
“65. Offer to replace the burnt out light bulbs” (It’s high time! How long can you go to the toilet without light! It’s inconvenient!)
“74. If your wife washes the dishes, offer to clean the pots or do other labor-intensive work” (Offer to your wife? Lots of things, huh? :)
“85. When leaving, kiss your wife” (So, then you won’t be able to associate it with a toothbrush...)
“86. Laugh when she jokes” (And if she has problems with a sense of humor, then even more so! Who, if not you!)
And finally, of course: “101. Lower the bathroom seat.”

And the general impression can be expressed in two words: a cloying book...