ABC of communication with a child. Consultation for parents of pupils: "The ABC of family communication"

Consultation for parents "AZBUKA OF COMMUNICATION",

development of the child's personality, communication skills with adults and peers.

Dear fathers and mothers, grandfathers and grandmothers! You are your child's first and most important teacher. His first school - your home - will have a huge impact on what he considers important in life, on the formation of his value system.

No matter how long we live, we still constantly turn to the experience of childhood, to life in the family: even a gray-haired veteran continues to refer to “what I was taught at home”, “what my mother taught me”, “what my father showed me” .

The kid learns everything in communication with adults, the early experience of the child creates the background that leads to the development of speech, the ability to listen and think, prepares the child to isolate the meaning of words.

"Years of miracles" - this is how scientists call the first five years of a child's life. The emotional attitude towards life and people laid down at this time and the presence or absence of incentives for intellectual development leave an indelible imprint on all further behavior and way of thinking of a person.

Each person should be able to listen to another, perceive and strive to understand him. How a person feels another, can influence him without offending or causing aggression, depends on his future success in interpersonal communication. Very few of us are really good at listening to other people, being sensitive to nuances in their behavior. It takes some skill and some effort to combine communication with careful observation and listening. Equally important are the ability to listen and understand oneself, that is, to be aware of one's feelings and actions at various moments of communication with others.

And all this must be learned. Skill does not come to a person by itself, it is acquired at the cost of the efforts expended on training. However, as your child's first teachers, you can greatly help him in this difficult work if you start instilling communication skills at a very early age.

Parents should provide their child with the most favorable conditions for its implementation in this direction, and for this, remember the following:

· For a child, you are a model in speech, because children learn verbal communication by imitating, listening, watching you. Your child will talk like his family. You must have heard: “Yes, he talks exactly like his father!”

· The child constantly studies what he observes and understands much more than he can say.

· The child's speech develops most successfully in an atmosphere of calm, safety and love, when adults listen to him, communicate with him, talk, direct attention, read to him.

· You have an exceptionally active role in teaching your baby the ability to think and speak, but no less active role in the intellectual, emotional, speech and communicative development is inherent in the child himself.

· It is necessary to provide the child with ample opportunities to use all five senses: to see, hear, touch, taste, feel various elements of the surrounding world. This will allow him to learn more about the house and places far from it.

· More time should be devoted to the child, since in early childhood the influence of the family on speech development, introducing the child to society is decisive. It is during these years that the foundations of self-confidence and successful communication outside the home are laid, which contributes to the further advancement of the child at school, in the company of peers, and later on at work.

· If possible, you need to join the child when he watches TV, and try to find out what interests him, discuss what he saw.

Each child has his own temperament, his own needs, interests, likes and dislikes. It is very important to respect its originality, to set realistic goals for yourself and for the child.

· Try not to let your child feel the lack of love and variety of impressions, but do not be tormented if you are not able to fulfill all his requests and desires.

· It must be remembered that children love learning more than just eating candy, but learning is a game that must be stopped before the child gets tired of it. The main thing is that the child has a constant feeling of "hunger" due to lack of knowledge.

Organization: MBDOU combined type, kindergarten "Yolochka"

Location: Republic of Khakassia, Chernogorsk

The game is traditionally associated with childhood and written off as an activity in a conditional, imaginary situation.

The first function of the game is educational. Some games develop strength, endurance; others are the mind; the third - a number of interrelated qualities. Moreover, each game has its own hierarchy. So, intelligence must be shown in any game, but in some it will be a secondary factor, in others it will be the main tool for success.

The second function of the game - compensatory - is based on the fact that the game appears as a different reality, acting as a man-made oasis in the chaos of real life. She attracts a child with the opportunity to reveal abilities that are difficult to realize in the adult world.

The game has therapeutic potential. The child “discovers” fears, experiences emotions that are forbidden for real interaction, sometimes behaves aggressively, although due to the situation he does not dare to such behavior. Toys, as it were, replace the child himself and his environment, the player ascribes his motives to them. In the game, it's not him, but dolls - evil wizards, witches - behave badly.

A game, as an activity in a conditional situation, arises when the child begins to use substitute objects, i.e. one and a half to two years. Until that time, his actions are more indicative than playful, and are aimed at studying the physical properties of the object. A child comes to understanding the functions of an object at the age of one year - one and a half years. Now he uses the toy no longer as a carrier of certain physical properties, but as a means to achieve a certain result. Understanding the function of the object enables him to use it as adults use it. This understanding in the third year of life turns into a passionate desire to act on objects independently, like mom or dad. After all, parents are the first people with whom the baby identifies and compares himself.

A feature of early age is the strongest identification of oneself with one of the parents, the desire to act the same as him. And this is the first step to a role-playing game.

The child begins to feel like an adult already at two or three years. The first role-playing game is a copy of the actions of mom and dad, a game during which the child acts in relation to toys as a skilled and experienced adult, like mom or dad feeds their dolls, cooks porridge or soup for them, puts them to bed, teaches them to wash, make the bed . Outcome: "I'm the same as mom (or dad), but independent." This first identification opens the way to a variety of identifications at an older age, to a variety of complex role-playing games.

By the age of three, the child already speaks well enough, walks and runs. This gives him the opportunity to discover the outside world outside the family. Feeling like the same "big" creature as the people around him, he tries on a variety of "adult" roles. A kind of "motto" of this age: "I can be the same as anyone else", "I can be who I can imagine myself.

The game can be used as a means of forming the ability to communicate, since it is with the help of the game that the teacher is able to help the child establish contact with the outside world, as well as with peers and adults.

Direct educational activity is built in the form of game situations that encourage children to get closer to each other and to the teacher on the basis of empathy for both the situation itself and its participants, and not only those events that require sympathy and participation, but also joyful and fun events.

What can help children develop games?

* Communication skills and qualities.

* The ability to recognize the emotions of others and own their feelings.

* A positive attitude towards other people, even if they are "completely different."

* The ability to empathize - to enjoy other people's joys and be upset because of other people's grief.

* The ability to express their needs and feelings through verbal and non-verbal means.

* Ability to interact and cooperate.

What is desirable to expect from the child during classes?

* Desire to take an active part in it.

* Friendly attitude in class.

What is required from an adult during classes?

* Patience (in general, like no other quality a teacher needs).

* The desire to play and believe in the game as the child believes in it.

* The ability to accept all children as they are.

* The ability to listen to any answer, any proposal, any decision of the child.

* Ability to improvise.

And further. Maybe these are common truths, but sometimes it’s not easy

follow them in everyday life, and without them contact with the child

impossible...

* Remember: every person, including the smallest, is individual, unique. Take this into account when communicating with him and emphasize it in every possible way.

* Learn not to compare one child with another, not to set anyone or anyone as an example.

ABC of communication.

Very few of us know how to really listen to other people, to be receptive to the nuances in their behavior. It takes a certain skill and a certain amount of effort to combine communication with attentive observation and listening. Equally important are the ability to listen and understand oneself, that is, to be aware of one's feelings and actions at various moments of communication with others.

Children do not require attention - guardianship, but attention - interest that only you - their parents - can give them. At preschool age, the child only gropes for his characteristic ways of relating to others, he develops a personal style and an idea of ​​himself.

Parents should provide their child with the most favorable conditions for his realization in this direction, and also in order not to miss the opportunity to orient the child to the maximum disclosure of his inner potential, and for this we must remember the following:

1. for a child, you are a model of speech, because children learn verbal communication by imitating, listening, watching you. Your child will speak like his family. You must have heard: “yes, he talks exactly like his father or mother!”
2. the child constantly studies what he observes, and understands much more often than he can say.
3. a child's speech develops most successfully in an atmosphere of calm, safety and love, when adults listen to him, communicate with him, talk, direct attention, read to him.
4. You have an extremely active role in teaching your baby to think and speak.
5. it is necessary to provide the child with ample opportunities to use all five senses: to see, hear, touch, taste, feel various elements of the surrounding world. This will allow him to learn more about the house and places far from it.
6. more time should be devoted to the child, since in early childhood the influence of the family on the speech development of the child is decisive.
7. if possible, you need to join the child when he watches TV and try to find out what interests him, discuss what he saw.
8. Each child has his own temperament, his own needs, interests, likes and dislikes. It is very important to respect his uniqueness, to set realistic goals for yourself and for the child.
9. try so that the child does not feel a lack of love and a variety of impressions, but do not be tormented if you are not able to fulfill all his desires and requests: parents also need to “live”.
10. It must be remembered that children love learning more than anything else, even more than eating candy, but learning is a game that must be stopped before the child gets tired of it. The main thing is that the child has a constant feeling of "hunger" due to lack of knowledge.

In principle, most parents are determined to communicate with children, but sometimes they lack the ability. Let your child know that you understand and sympathize with him. Children do not like, just like you and me, when they are scolded, read morals or criticized, so they often “turn off” in a conversation with their parents, and later they ignore what teachers say.

The process of personality development is a stage in the development of relations between a child and an adult, primarily with the mother. Her maternal love evokes a reciprocal warm feeling in the baby. And what could be better?!

We all need kindness, love, understanding, care, respect and a smile - a symbol of humanity and harmony. Antoine de Saint-Exupery wrote: “Often a smile is the main thing. Thank you with a smile. A smile is rewarded. They give you life with a smile. So, smile to your baby more often!

On the topic: methodological developments, presentations and notes

Questionnaire for parents "Communication with a child"

The questionnaire helps the educator to reveal the features of communication between parents and their children, if you need to give specific recommendations for correcting the child's behavior....

Recommendations for parents on overcoming their own aggressive manifestations in communication with the child

Aggression is an action, aggressiveness is a readiness to commit such actions. There is a direct link between parenting styles in the family and manifestations of aggression in children....

All parents raise their children to the best of their ability and understanding of life and rarely think about why in certain situations they act this way and not otherwise.

Shouts, indignation, threats, orders, punishments remained the main methods of raising a child; often parents use negative attitudes without thinking about the consequences. However, modern children more subtly feel the slightest violence from their parents, react more violently to it, demand respect for themselves, and actively resist. Therefore, they often become aggressive from preschool age. There is a problem of civil and communicative competence of the society. In connection with this problem, we offer five methods to avoid violence against your children.

These methods must be applied in this order.

1. Instead of an order - a request. Refuse rhetorical questions to the child like: “Why is the room a mess? Why are you still sitting in front of the TV? "but just ask: "Put the toys in their place, please."

2. Instead of outrage - active listening. If the child does not comply with your request and misbehaves, it means that at a deep level his basic needs are not being met. Active listening should be aimed at identifying this very unmet need, but not through questioning, but in a very unusual way for us. You need to pronounce your guesses in an affirmative norm, while indicating the feelings of the child. For example, a child does not comply with a mother's request to remove scattered toys. Mom says without any interrogative intonations: “You don’t feel like putting away the toys now, because you are tired. It seems to you that it is difficult. ”You won’t believe it, but these simple words can have a magical effect - the child will immediately start cleaning. Why? It’s just that mom noticed that he didn’t want to do this, showed participation.

Try it! Having experienced the effect of this technique at least once, you will regret that you did not know about it before.

3. Instead of punishment and threats - encouragement. There is no stronger motive. Than the inner desire of the child to get along with his loved ones and the desire to receive a reward. Incentives can be as follows: we will go with you to coffee - ice cream, a museum, an excursion, a movie, a walk, we will have a tea party, invite your friend to visit, play with you, draw and the like.

4. An order, as a statement of parental authority, is necessary if the child stubbornly does not proceed to fulfill your request. It should be pronounced firmly, but calmly. Once you have used the command voice, you need to stand your ground. Emotions, explanations, arguments, accusations and threats only weaken your position. Repeat your order until you get it. If you still can’t achieve your goal, use the following trick.

5. Instead of punishment and threats - time for "cooling down". You can send the child to your room to blow off steam. The time-out time depends on the age: one minute for each year lived by the child. This method is good to use with a child under 10 years old. It must be remembered that time-outs do not work if the child is happy to go to his room. In this case, to think about your act, you need to allocate another room. At the end of the timeout, repeat your request again.

Try not to criticize your child. Criticism turns children against adults, encourages them to rebel. By showering your child with negative remarks, you deprive him of the opportunity to improve.

Applying new methods, we will be able to keep the situation under control without punishment and threats, we will help the child become a successful person, able to conquer this world, find his place in it.

But remember, it's very dangerous to try to be the perfect parent. An attempt to teach a child "everything and quickly" will only awaken a defensive reaction of his personality.

A child comes into the world with his own program, and your educational efforts can either help him to manifest everything that is laid "from above". Or let them wander along the roundabout paths without vivid impressions and the joy of victory.

A child who grew up in favorable conditions is focused on himself and does not try to control his actions: he is sure that his parents are nearby and, if necessary, will insure him.

Confidence in their own safety allows the child to cooperate. Talk, learn, establish stable relationships of love and affection with others. It easily interacts, typing information, that is, it develops easily and quickly. He is blissfully ignorant of the dangers of the world around him and therefore easily goes forward, learns, dares and enjoys life.

Give the child the opportunity to choose the direction of the application of efforts.

Don't let him be lazy!

And let's make mistakes.

If you fail to overcome yourself, then the child will remain clumsy or grow up as a person with a suppressed initiative - a conformist.

A child who looks at the world only from the position of his own benefit, thereby loses the opportunity to develop his own personality. He perceives the environment as something alien and hostile, and by no means as a nutritious, soil conducive to his growth.

Olga Teplykh
Training for parents "ABC of communication"

Training for parents« ABC of communication»

Target: contribute to overcoming communication difficulties with parents and interaction with children.

Tasks:

Actualize existing problems in interaction with children.

Exercise parents in building an effective communication with children.

Lesson duration: 1 hour.

Material: badges for each participant, pens for each participant, paper, felt-tip pens, tasks for each participant, memos.

Implementation plan.

The exercise "Acquaintance".

- Parents they are invited to design their business cards, where it is desirable to colorfully write their name, which they would like to be called by other participants during classes. Everyone then sits next to each other in a large circle and introduces themselves one by one.

Introduction.

In recent decades, psychology has made a number of remarkable discoveries. One of them is about the meaning communication with the child for its development. It has now become an indisputable truth that communication just as necessary for a child as food. A toddler who receives adequate nutrition and medical care but is deprived of communication with an adult, develops poorly not only mentally, but also physically: he does not grow, loses weight, loses interest in life. And if we continue the comparison with food, we can say that communication can be not only beneficial, but also harmful. Bad food poisons the body, and wrong communication"poisons" the child's psyche, emotional well-being and psychological health are at risk.

- "Problem", "difficult", "naughty", "children with complexes", "downtrodden"- This is the result of improperly established relationships in the family. Practical psychologists discovered an important fact: it turned out that the majority parents who seek help for difficult children themselves suffered from conflicts with their own parents. Based on these and other facts, psychologists have come to the conclusion that style parental behavior involuntarily "recorded" in the mind of the child. This happens very early, during preschool childhood, and usually unconsciously.

In our country, the most famous, accessible in presentation, effective and useful book is "Communicate with a child, how?" Yu. B. Gippenreiter. At our meeting today, we will get acquainted with the main provisions of this book.

Practical exercise.

Dear, parents now in a circle, I invite you to speak on the following question: do you have problems in communication with a child, if so, which ones?

(Answers parents)

After everything parents spoke out, the psychologist concludes that the problems that arise in parents interacting with children. Then hand out memos "Communicate with a child, how?", which reflects the basic principles communication with a child.

Attention is drawn parents on the first principle"Unconditional acceptance of the child".

Parents are asked:

What do you think unconditional acceptance of a child means?

(Answers parents)

Unconditional acceptance of a child means loving him not because he is beautiful, smart, capable, assistant, and so on, but just like that, just because he is.

It is not uncommon to hear from adults such an appeal to to kid: "If you are a good boy (girl, then I will love you" or “Don’t expect good things from me until you stop being lazy…” In these phrases, the child is directly told that he is accepted conditionally, that he is loved, "only if".

Let's see how you manage to accept your children.

Diagnostics.

Parents you are asked to close your eyes and remember how many times during the previous day they turned to their child with an emotionally positive statement (joyful greeting, approval, support) and how many times - with a negative (reproach, remark, criticism).

The causes of a child's difficulties are often hidden in the sphere of his feelings. Then practical actions - to show, teach, direct - will not help him. In such cases, it is best to listen to him. The next principle that we will get acquainted with is called active listening - it means "to return" the child in the conversation what he told, while denoting his feeling. The following situations will help us understand this.

Solving problem situations.

1. Mom is sitting on a bench in the park, her 3-year-old baby runs up to her in tears: "He took my car!".

2. Mom and her 5-year-old daughter are going for a walk; mom says that you need to dress warmer, it's cold outside, but the daughter is naughty and does not want to wear "that ugly hat".

(Parents they are invited to speak out, how they would act, what they would say in these situations)

Then the correct ones are offered. phrases:

1. You are very upset and angry with him.

2. You really don't like her.

If you want to listen to your child, be sure to turn around to face him. It is very important that his and your eyes are at the same level. If the child is small, sit down next to him, you can gently pull the child towards you, or move your chair closer to him.

If you are talking to an upset or distressed child, you should not ask him questions. It is desirable that your answers sound in the affirmative form. The fact is that a phrase framed as a question does not reflect sympathy. It is also important in a conversation "keep pause". After each of your remarks, it is better to be silent. In your answer, it is also sometimes helpful to repeat what you understand happened to the child, and then indicate his feelings.

you me, dear parents, you can ask: “But what about our feelings? We are people too, we get tired, angry, worried and offended. We also have a hard time with children. And who will listen to us? So in such cases, it is very helpful. "I AM- messages» or "I-statements". What it is? When you talk about your feelings to a child, speak in the first person. Report about yourself, about your experience, and not about him, not about his behavior. "I AM- messages» contain personal pronouns: me, me, me.

1. Communicate how you feel in the first person (“I’m upset…”)

2. We talk about the reason for the negative feeling, in generalized form(when children do not clean up after themselves toys after playing)

3. We talk about our desire, wish, action for the child ... I would like you to put all the toys in their place after the game”)

The exercise "My perfect child".

The psychologist suggests parents identify yourself in the third person and talk about your child in a positive way, and unwanted (according to parents) to translate the qualities of the child in the course of the story into positive ones, one can also name qualities that the child does not yet have, but they will definitely be formed. for instance: “Natalya Ivanovna has a wonderful son Maxim. He is a very kind boy, he helps his mother wash the dishes. He plays friendly with the children in kindergarten, he is a leader, he always comes up with new games, and he already listens to adults better, he has become

Completion.

I would like to hear your opinion about what you liked? What do you remember? What to take into account and practice communicating with your child?

Literature:

Shipitsyna L. M. and others. ABC of communication: Development of the child's personality, skills communication with adults and peers (3-6 years old)

publishing house: Detstvo-Press, 2010

Gippenreiter Yu. B. Communicate with the child. How?. - AST, Astrel, Harvest, Moscow. ; 2008. - 83 p.