What to do if a man doesn't want to work?

In our modern world, women have long ceased to be the weaker sex. Yes, we have always strived for equality with men in all respects, and what have we got? A woman works equally with them, sometimes even does the same physically difficult work as men, spends a full day at work, and then runs home to cook dinner, do laundry, tidy up the house, check the children’s homework, and, of course, you must not forget to caress your husband.

And with all this, a woman still needs to always remain attractive and well-groomed, otherwise her husband will suddenly leave for another. What is the role of a man in the family? He must be a breadwinner to provide for his family financially. But some men don't even perform this one function.

Yes, anything can happen: you were laid off at work or your business went bankrupt, but you always need to not give up and strive to find other options. Unfortunately, there are men for whom this process drags on not even for months, but for many years.

And we, women, have been waiting all this time and hoping that everything is about to change and everything will be as before, and we continue to carry on our fragile shoulders not only the household, but also the material support of the family. And the husband at this time “all in suffering” watches TV and spends all the time on the sofa.

If you are tired of this, then, first of all, you need to have a good understanding of the reasons why your husband cannot find a job. Maybe he just doesn’t want to do this and is okay with everything? So what, your wife earns money, runs the household, and you lie on your sofa, relax - an eternal vacation, and you don’t have to think or worry about anything. If so, then you need to drive such a husband out of the house and out of your life forever.

Never let a man sit on your neck.

But if your husband is not like that and you are satisfied with everything about him, except for the lack of work, then try to figure out what the cause of this problem is. Not all women are ready to put up with a situation of constant lack of money for a long time, so, in the end, the question arises, how to get your husband to work?

Main types

In order to understand where to start, you need to find out what types of non-working men there are, and what type exactly does your husband belong to?

• So, the first type is “mama’s boy”. This is a man, most often, with a weak character, who is accustomed to everyone taking care of him and deciding everything for him. Even if he had a job before, having lost it, he will not rush to look for a new one. What for? After all, everything suits him anyway. His wife works and this seems to him enough for a normal and comfortable existence. Since childhood, such a man has not been accustomed to taking responsibility for his actions, because his parents have always overprotected him from any problems. And now he is trying to shift his responsibilities as a breadwinner onto the shoulders of his wife, so that she is responsible for the financial support of the family.
• The second type is the “narcissist”. This is a man with high self-esteem who loves only himself and believes that any company dreams of getting an employee like him, giving him, of course, only a leadership position. In reality, everything turns out completely differently. Most often, a man’s real abilities and knowledge do not correspond to what he imagines about himself. This becomes immediately apparent during the first interview. And naturally, no one will want to hire such an employee. The “narcissist” considers it beneath his dignity to waste time on temporary work and be a minor worker, so he sits on the couch all day long, hoping that a good job will find him on its own.
• The third type is “swinging”. This is a man who always takes a very long time to get ready to do something. This does not mean that he is not looking for a job, he just needs a lot more time for this. He must weigh everything, check and carefully approach the choice of a new job. It is quite difficult for such men to get used to everything new just because they are “slow-witted,” i.e. They take a long time to delve into everything. Therefore, searching for a job can take quite a long time, but, in the end, it will eventually be crowned with success.
• The fourth type is the “misanthrope.” This is a man who constantly experiences difficulties in communicating with people due to his bad character. He categorically does not like other people, and he does not want to come into contact with them under any circumstances. Nowadays, you can hardly find a job where you don’t need to communicate with colleagues or clients. Therefore, it is very difficult for a misanthrope to find a suitable specialty. It is very difficult to establish any kind of business relationship with such a person, so employers try to avoid such employees. So he waits until a job that suits him completely appears. And this may not happen soon.
• The fifth type is “melancholic”. This is a very vulnerable man. He always takes everything to heart and forever remembers all grievances. Therefore, it is difficult for him to forget the bad experience at his previous job, and for a long time he cannot decide to look for a new one. But when he finally decides, the first unsuccessful interview can unsettle him for a long time. And he will be looking for a new option for a very long time. A melancholic person prefers to do nothing, so as not to be exposed to new stress.
• The sixth type is “”. This is a man who initially did not work, and does not intend to work. He is quite happy that his wife earns money, and he spends it for his own pleasure. He loves only himself and believes that the world revolves around him, and everyone else should provide for him.
• And a separate type includes men who cannot find work due to circumstances beyond their control. For example, your husband’s specialty is not currently in demand on the employment market or he lacks certain experience and qualifications to occupy a new position. Age may also be a reason for refusal. Nowadays, you can increasingly find advertisements looking for workers no older than 30-35 years old. And if your husband is over 30, then it’s quite difficult to find a new job.

And what should a woman do in this situation?

First, you should talk frankly with your husband about how he sees the future of your family? If you have children, then you should focus on this, you must show him that he is responsible for their future, that they need to eat well, dress well, attend various sports sections and clubs, and in the summer be sure to send them to a health camp.

You must make it clear to your husband that the money you earn is not enough for this, and that you cannot do without his help. If you don’t have children, then draw your husband a beautiful future, a new apartment, a car or a trip abroad, and tell him that if he continues to do nothing, then he will continue to travel on public transport all his life, and instead of going on vacation sea ​​- lying on an old sofa.

You should find out from your husband what he is doing to find a new job, and why he does not want or cannot find a suitable option? He must have ironclad arguments for you to believe him. If you have doubts about his sincerity, you will have to take the situation into your own hands.

So, what to do if your husband doesn’t want to work, and how to get him to change?

It can be very difficult for a man to change his established lifestyle and usual job. Therefore, the search for new vacancies invariably causes fear from the unknown of what lies ahead. If your stay is only for a short time, then try to support him and help him cope with this difficult situation.

Constantly remind him of his good qualities to increase his confidence in his abilities.

But if, after months or even years, your husband cannot find a job, and a frank conversation with him on this topic did not help, then you should move on to active action.

Start monitoring the entire process of his job search. Even to the point of buying newspapers with advertisements for your husband and selecting suitable vacancies for him, if he still has not been able to do this on his own. Make sure he calls everyone and reports to you for each ad.

Also, make a good resume along with it and send it to different organizations, and you can also post it on the Internet at various labor exchanges. At least someone must respond. Then your husband will have nothing left to do but go to the interview, and maybe it will be crowned with success.

This advice is suitable for men who themselves do not dare to take the first step - these are melancholic, misanthrope and “swinging”, it can also be used for other types. By your actions you can push your husband to change.

But if this does not help, then let him feel with all his might what it is to be a “housewife.” Transfer all the household chores to him: let him cook, clean, do laundry, take care of the children, and at this time you will build your career and earn money.

And when you come home, you will strictly check the work he has done and constantly point out his mistakes. If he is a normal man, then very quickly he will get tired of being a female housewife, and he will begin to look more diligently for a new job.

Also a very effective method to force your husband to work is to completely deprive him of money. You should spend all the money you earn only on yourself and your children. No, of course, your husband should not die of hunger, but for all other needs, for example, cigarettes, beer, clothes, he will have to ask you for money every time.

And you must refuse him. Yes, he can ask his parents for money, but believe me, they will also very quickly get tired of supporting their adult son, and then they will work with you to find him a job. In addition, not every man will like to humiliate himself every time and ask his wife for money to buy himself cigarettes.

This advice is suitable for men with high self-esteem - “narcissists” and “mama’s boys”.

But the gigolo can be brought to light very quickly. To do this, it is enough to let him understand that you have begun to have financial difficulties, and that in the future you will have to save on everything. Believe that this man, who is accustomed to denying himself nothing, will immediately run away from you. And under no circumstances should you regret it. You deserve better! And a gigolo man is far from the best option!

And don’t worry, you will definitely live without him, because all this time you have provided for your family without his help, but he will be left without a job and without a family. And you will have a chance to meet a real man with whom you can feel like a weak, but very happy woman.

We hope that our advice will help you, and you will not have to make such serious decisions and radically change your life. Dear women, love yourself and don’t let anyone sit on your neck! You deserve better!