Overcoming shyness in preschoolers. Overcoming Shyness in Children

Introduction

shyness anxiety teacher preschool

Relevance.In the context of the development of emotions and feelings of a person, such a feature of development as shyness is considered. Helping a child overcome shyness is more difficult than preventing its development is an important and common task for both teachers and parents. With age, a shy child already develops a certain style of behavior, he begins to be aware of his “lack”. Practice shows that adults do not always use an individual approach in working with shy preschool children, they do not know the peculiarities of pedagogical interaction with this category of children. Therefore, it is so important to identify the features of pedagogical interaction with shy children, aimed at preventing and overcoming shyness in preschool children. This determined the problem of our study.

The anxiety of a child largely depends on the level of anxiety of the adults around him. High anxiety of the teacher or parent is transmitted to the child. In families with friendly relations, children are less anxious than in families where conflicts often arise. An interesting fact is that after the divorce of the parents, when, it would seem, the scandals in the family ended, the level of anxiety of the child does not decrease, but, as a rule, increases sharply.

Purpose of the study: to identify the features of the methods and means of pedagogical influence aimed at overcoming shyness in children of older preschool age.

Object of study: shyness as a personality trait.

Subject of study: features of the teacher's work with shy children of older preschool age.

The purpose, object and subject of the study determined the need for setting and solving tasks:

Conduct a theoretical analysis of the psychological and pedagogical literature on the problem under study;

to explore the features of pedagogical work with shy preschool children;

Hypothesis:it is assumed that the competent work of the educator will help overcome anxiety and shyness in children.

Research methods: study and analysis of psychological, pedagogical, methodological literature and best practices on the problem of anxiety and shyness in children.

theoretical basisthe works of the following Gurevich Yu., Galiguzova L.N., Gasparov E., Karpenko V. and others served.

1. Theoretical foundations of shyness and anxiety in preschool children

.1 Shyness in preschool children

Shyness in preschool children is such an internal position of the child if he pays too much attention to the opinions of other people. The child becomes overly sensitive to the judgment of people around him. Hence - the desire to protect himself from people and situations that potentially threaten criticism about his appearance or behavior. As a result, the child tries to keep a low profile, avoid relationships that may draw undue attention to his personality.

Embarrassment can be regarded as a voluntary deprivation of one's freedom. It is like a prison where prisoners are deprived of the right to freedom of speech, freedom of communication, and so on. Most people experience embarrassment in one way or another. It is a certain natural protective device that allows you to assess the possible consequences of an act before it is committed. Usually shyness in children goes along with low self-esteem. Even apart from the fact that shy children can appreciate some of their qualities or abilities, in general they are extremely self-critical. One of the reasons for low self-esteem is too high demands on oneself. They are always a little short of the level that they demand from themselves.

The ideal relationship between parents and children should develop in preschool children individuality, a strong confidence in their own importance. When love is not given free of charge, if it is offered in exchange for something, for example, for “correct” behavior, then the child will suppress his own “I” and self-respect with every act. The message of such a relationship with a child is obvious: you are only as good as your achievements are, and you will never jump above your head. This is how feelings of love, approval, and acceptance are made into consumer goods that can be traded in exchange for "good behavior." And the worst thing is that with the slightest misconduct, you can lose them. And an insecure, shy person perceives this order of things as absolutely normal: he allegedly does not deserve better. Whereas a person who is given unconditional love, even after several failures, does not lose faith in his primary value.

Some teachers believe that shyness is genetically determined. Already in the first weeks of life, children are emotionally different from each other: some cry more, are more prone to mood swings. In addition to all this, children initially tend to differ in temperament and the need for contacts. Later, these features can germinate and turn into stable patterns of behavior. Children with an unusually sensitive nervous system take everything to heart. Accordingly, an extremely cautious approach to everything is developed and a constant readiness to retreat.

The acquisition of social experience makes it possible to fully form a number of genetically determined behavior patterns. Children who love to smile are more likely to smile back. They are more often carried on the hands than they are done with sullen or calm children. There are many underlying causes of shyness stemming from childhood emotions and how those emotions are perceived by the individual. If parents do not know how to teach their children sociability by example, children are likely to grow up shy.

The study showed that the country with the highest prevalence of shyness and shyness among preschool children is Japan, where 60% of those surveyed consider themselves shy. The feeling of shame is usually used to correct the behavior of individuals in accordance with generally accepted norms of behavior. The Japanese grow up deeply convinced that they have no right to even slightly discredit their family. In Japan, the entire burden of responsibility for failures falls solely on the shoulders of the child himself, but parents, teachers, and the coach are thanked for success.

Such a system of values ​​suppresses the inclinations of enterprise and initiative in a person. In Israel, for example, children are brought up in a completely opposite way. Any achievements are attributed solely to the abilities of the child, while failures are blamed on incorrect upbringing, ineffective education, injustice, etc. In other words, actions are encouraged and stimulated, and failures are not severely punished. Israeli children lose nothing by defeat, but by success they are rewarded. So why not try? Japanese children, on the contrary, will not gain anything, but they can lose a lot. Therefore, they always doubt and try not to take risks.

There are many reasons that cause embarrassment and shyness, as well as many specific circumstances that cause embarrassment as a reaction to a particular situation. Below is a list of categories of people and situations that can cause such a reaction.

People who cause shyness:

Members of the opposite sex

Relatives and foreigners

older people

Parents

Siblings (most rare)

Most often, shyness in preschool children is caused by people who differ from them in certain parameters, have power, and control the flow of necessary resources. Or they are people so close that they can afford to criticize them.

Circumstances that cause shyness:

Being in the spotlight of a large group of people, for example, performing at a matinee;

Lower status than others;

Situations that require self-confidence;

New circumstances;

Situations requiring assessment;

Weakness, need for help;

Being one on one with a person of the opposite sex

Being the center of attention of a small group of people.

Shy children are always very worried when they are forced to perform some action in unfamiliar circumstances, where there are criticisms of other people who are unnecessarily demanding and influential.

How to help a shy child?

Psychologists talk about three main "parental" behaviors. They are described as follows:

an example of a liberal model - a child gets as much freedom as he is able to accept;

Research results show that the authoritative model is desirable and most effective. It contributes to the education of self-confidence in preschool children, and therefore is the most effective in curing childhood shyness. Despite the general opinion, the application of very clear liberalism in parenting does not develop self-confidence. Liberal parents often show inattention to the child, they do not consider it necessary to work out the main lines of his behavior. They often “sin” with inconsistency in upbringing, because of this, children may have the feeling that their parents are not interested in their feelings and problems, that their parents do not need them at all.

The other extreme concerns the authoritarian parenting model. Parents who choose this model also pay little attention to their children when it comes to unconditional love and care. They are limited only to the satisfaction of all physical needs. They are primarily concerned with such aspects of education as leadership and discipline, but they do not care at all about the emotional health of preschool children. Authoritarian parents care about the impression their children make on the people around them. For them, this is even more important than intra-family relations. They are absolutely sure that they form a “real person” out of the child, not realizing that they are coming to the opposite.

The peculiarity of the authoritative model of education is that, on the one hand, there is the presence of parental control, but on the other hand, the development of the child as a person is underway. Such parents have a clear idea of ​​what the child is capable of, they often have confidential conversations with him and listen to what the child answers. Such parents are not afraid to change the rules of the game when a new circumstance forces them to act differently.

Before proceeding to a description of how to deal with shyness in preschool children and raise an open, emotionally receptive and at the same time not shy child, I want to note one nuance. Educators are forced to change themselves first. They may be required to completely change the atmosphere in the kindergarten so that it does not contribute to the development of shyness in the child.

Just as the connection between shyness and insecurity is obvious, so is the dependence on touches of security and calmness.

You need to take seriously the words of psychologists who believe that if you are not satisfied with the behavior of the child, you must definitely let him know that it is not the child himself that revolts you, but his actions. In other words, it is important for a child to know that he is loved, and this love does not depend on anything, it is constant and unchanging, that is, unconditional.

Excessive discipline can affect the development of shyness in preschool children through the following reasons:

Discipline is often based on the initial wrongness of the child, on the assertion that he must change. This leads to lower self-esteem.

The frightening authority of parents can develop into a serious complex, in which the child will feel fear of any authoritative persons. Embarrassment in this case is not a manifestation of reverence, it is a manifestation of fear of authority.

The basic concept of discipline is control. Overly controlled children grow up with the fear that they will lose control or that they will be forced to control a difficult situation.

The object of discipline is the person, not the circumstances. And very often the cause of behavior is in the environment or the behavior of other people. Before punishing a child, be sure to ask why he violated one of your rules.

Discipline should not be public. Respect the dignity of your child. Public reprimands and the shame that a child experiences while doing this can increase his shyness. Try to notice not only the misconduct of the child, but also to note good behavior.

Only by example can children be taught to be sympathetic. Let them look for the cause of failure in the first place in the circumstances, and not in the people around them. Talk about why this or that person does certain reckless things, or what could have influenced the change in his behavior.

Whenever you feel like saying something mean to your child, be aware of the strong connection between a child's self-esteem and shyness. This can help you overcome momentum. It is important for a child to evaluate himself positively.

Teach your child to trust people more. For this, it is important for parents to have the closest possible relationship with the child. Let him know that you love him and appreciate him for who he is. And that there are other people who can also appreciate and respect him if he gets close to them. Of course, there will always be those who will deceive or betray, but, firstly, there are fewer of them, and secondly, sooner or later they will be brought to light.

Try to reduce the amount of time you spend apart from your child and always give him a warning if you can give him attention. Even a minute of a warm and respectful conversation with a child is much more important than a whole day when you sat nearby, but were busy with your own business.

.2 Anxiety in preschool children

The word "anxious" is noted in many dictionaries. There are many versions explaining the origin of this term. The author of one of them believes that the word "alarm" means a three-time repeated signal of danger from the enemy.

In the psychological dictionary, the following definition of anxiety is given: it is “an individual psychological feature consisting in an increased tendency to experience anxiety in a wide variety of life situations, including those that do not predispose to it.”

Anxiety is not associated with any particular situation and is almost always manifested. This state accompanies a person in any kind of activity. When a person is afraid of something specific, we are talking about the manifestation of fear. For example, fear of the dark, fear of heights, fear of enclosed space.

To date, a definite point of view on the causes of anxiety has not yet been developed. But most scientists believe that in preschool and primary school age, one of the main reasons lies in the violation of parent-child relationships.

Anxiety develops due to the presence of an internal conflict in the child, which can be caused by:

Contradictory demands made by parents, or parents and the school (kindergarten). For example, parents do not let their child go to school because they feel unwell, and the teacher puts a “deuce” in a journal and scolds him for skipping a lesson in the presence of other children.

Inadequate requirements (most often, overestimated). For example, parents repeatedly repeat to the child that he must certainly be an excellent student, they cannot and do not want to come to terms with the fact that their son or daughter gets not only “five” at school and is not the best student in the class.

Negative demands that humiliate the child, put him in a dependent position. For example, a caregiver or teacher says to a child: "If you tell who misbehaved in my absence, I will not tell my mother that you got into a fight." Experts believe that in preschool and primary school age boys are more anxious, and after 12 years - girls. At the same time, girls are more worried about relationships with other people, and boys are more worried about violence and punishment. Having committed some “unseemly” act, the girls are worried that their mother or teacher will think badly of them, and their girlfriends will refuse to play with them. In the same situation, boys are likely to be afraid that they will be punished by adults or beaten by their peers.

The anxiety of children increases if the parents are not satisfied with their work, living conditions, financial situation. Perhaps that is why the number of anxious children is steadily increasing in our time. The authoritarian style of parental upbringing in the family also does not contribute to the inner peace of the child.

There is an opinion that learning anxiety begins to form already in preschool age. This can be facilitated by both the teacher's work style and excessive demands on the child, constant comparisons with other children. In some families, during the entire year preceding school entry, in the presence of the child, there are talks about choosing a “worthy” school, a “promising” teacher. The concerns of parents are passed on to children. In addition, parents hire numerous teachers for the child, spend hours doing tasks with him. The child’s body, which is not yet strong and not yet ready for such intensive training, sometimes cannot stand it, the baby begins to get sick, the desire to learn disappears, and anxiety about the upcoming training increases rapidly.

Anxiety can be associated with neurosis or other mental disorders. In these cases, the help of medical specialists is needed.

A child is included in the kindergarten group. He peers intently at everything that is around, timidly, almost silently greets and awkwardly sits on the edge of the nearest chair. He seems to be expecting some kind of trouble.

This is an anxious child. There are many such children in kindergarten and at school, and working with them is not easier, but even more difficult than with other categories of “problem” children, because both hyperactive and aggressive children are always in sight, “at a glance”, and anxious try to keep their problems to themselves. They are distinguished by excessive anxiety, and sometimes they are afraid not of the event itself, but of its foreboding. Often they expect the worst. Children feel helpless, afraid to play new games, start new activities. They have high demands on themselves, they are very self-critical. Their level of self-esteem is low, such children really think that they are worse than others in everything, that they are the most ugly, stupid, clumsy. They seek encouragement, adult approval in all matters.

Anxious children are also characterized by somatic problems: abdominal pain, dizziness, headaches, throat cramps, shortness of breath, etc. During the manifestation of anxiety, they often feel dry mouth, lump in the throat, weakness in the legs, heart palpitations.

Emotions and feelings are a reflection of reality in the form of experiences. Various forms of experiencing feelings (emotions, affects, moods, stresses, passions, etc.) together form the emotional sphere of a person. Allocate such types of feelings as moral, intellectual and aesthetic. Fundamental and derivative emotions are distinguished. The fundamental ones include: interest-excitement, joy, surprise, grief-suffering, anger, disgust, contempt, fear, shame, guilt.

The rest are derivatives. From the combination of fundamental emotions, such a complex emotional state arises as anxiety, which can combine fear, anger, guilt, and interest-excitement. "Anxiety is an individual's propensity to experience anxiety, characterized by a low threshold for the occurrence of an anxiety reaction: one of the main parameters of individual differences." A certain level of anxiety is a natural and obligatory feature of the vigorous activity of the individual.

Each person has their own optimal or desirable level of anxiety - this is the so-called useful anxiety. A person's assessment of his state in this respect is an essential component of self-control and self-education for him. However, an increased level of anxiety is a subjective manifestation of a person's troubles. Manifestations of anxiety in different situations are not the same. In some cases, people tend to behave anxiously always and everywhere, in others they reveal their anxiety only from time to time, depending on the circumstances. It is customary to call situationally stable manifestations of anxiety personal and associated with the presence of a corresponding personality trait in a person (the so-called "personal anxiety"). This is a stable individual characteristic that reflects the subject's predisposition to anxiety and suggests that he has a tendency to perceive a fairly wide "fan" of situations as threatening, responding to each of them with a certain reaction. As a predisposition, personal anxiety is activated when certain stimuli are perceived by a person as dangerous, threats to his prestige, self-esteem, self-respect associated with specific situations. Situation-changing manifestations of anxiety are called situational, and a personality trait showing this kind of anxiety is referred to as "situational anxiety". This state is characterized by subjectively experienced emotions: tension, anxiety, concern, nervousness. This state occurs as an emotional reaction to a stressful situation and can be different in intensity and dynamic over time.

Individuals classified as highly anxious tend to perceive a threat to their self-esteem and life in a wide range of situations and react very tensely, with a pronounced state of anxiety. The behavior of anxious people in activities aimed at achieving success has the following features:

High-anxiety individuals are more emotionally sensitive than low-anxiety individuals to messages of failure.

High-anxiety people work worse than low-anxiety people in stressful situations or in conditions of lack of time allotted for solving a problem.

Fear of failure is a characteristic of highly anxious people. This fear dominates their desire to achieve success.

The motivation to achieve success prevails among low-anxiety people. It usually outweighs the fear of possible failure.

For highly anxious people, a message of success is more stimulating than a message of failure.

Low-anxiety people are more motivated by the message of failure.

Personal anxiety predisposes the individual to the perception and evaluation of many, objectively safe situations as those that carry a threat.

The activity of a person in a particular situation depends not only on the situation itself, on the presence or absence of personal anxiety in an individual, but also on the situational anxiety that arises in a given person in a given situation under the influence of prevailing circumstances. The impact of the current situation, a person's own needs, thoughts and feelings, the features of his anxiety as personal anxiety determine his cognitive assessment of the situation that has arisen. This assessment, in turn, evokes certain emotions (activation of the autonomic nervous system and an increase in the state of situational anxiety, along with expectations of a possible failure). Information about all this through the neural feedback mechanisms is transmitted to the human cerebral cortex, affecting his thoughts, needs and feelings. The same cognitive assessment of the situation simultaneously and automatically causes the body's response to threatening stimuli, which leads to the emergence of countermeasures and appropriate responses aimed at reducing the situational anxiety that has arisen. The result of all this directly affects the activities performed. This activity is directly dependent on the state of anxiety, which could not be overcome with the help of the responses and countermeasures taken, as well as an adequate cognitive assessment of the situation.

Thus, human activity in a situation that generates anxiety directly depends on the strength of situational anxiety, the effectiveness of countermeasures taken to reduce it, and the accuracy of the cognitive assessment of the situation.

Under the form of anxiety, we mean a special combination of the nature of experience, awareness, verbal and non-verbal expression in the characteristics of behavior, communication and activity. The form of anxiety manifests itself in spontaneously folding ways of overcoming and compensating it, as well as in the attitude of a child, a teenager to this experience.

It is known that there are 2 categories of anxiety:

Open - consciously experienced and manifested in behavior and activity in the form of a state of anxiety;

Hidden - to varying degrees not realized, manifested either by excessive calmness, insensitivity to real trouble and even denial of it, or indirectly through specific ways of behavior.

Acute, unregulated or poorly regulated anxiety - strong, conscious, manifested externally through the symptoms of anxiety, the individual cannot cope with it on his own.

Regulated and compensated anxiety, in which children independently develop sufficiently effective ways to cope with their anxiety. According to the characteristics of the methods used for these purposes, two subforms were distinguished within this form: a) reducing the level of anxiety and b) using it to stimulate one's own activity, increase activity. This form of anxiety occurs mainly in primary school and early adolescence, i. in periods characterized as stable.

An important characteristic of both forms is that anxiety is assessed by children as an unpleasant, difficult experience that they would like to get rid of.

Cultivated anxiety - in this case, in contrast to the above, anxiety is recognized and experienced as a valuable quality for the individual, allowing him to achieve what he wants. Cultivated anxiety comes in several forms. First, it can be recognized by an individual as the main regulator of his activity, ensuring his organization and responsibility. In this it coincides with form 2.b, the differences relate, as noted, only to the assessment of this experience. Secondly, it can act as a kind of worldview and value setting. Thirdly, it often manifests itself in the search for a certain “conditional benefit from the presence of anxiety and is expressed through an increase in symptoms. In some cases, one subject encountered two or even all three options at the same time.

As a kind of cultivated anxiety, the form that we conditionally called "magic" can be considered. In this case, the child, the teenager, as it were, “conjures evil forces” by constantly playing in his mind the most disturbing events, constantly talking about them, without, however, freeing himself from fear of them, but strengthening it even more through the mechanism of an “enchanted psychological circle” ".

Speaking about the forms of anxiety, it is impossible not to touch on the problem of the so-called "disguised" anxiety. "Masks" of anxiety are called such forms of behavior that have the form of pronounced manifestations of personality traits generated by anxiety, allowing a person to experience it in a relaxed form and not to show it outwardly. Aggressiveness, dependence, apathy, excessive daydreaming, etc. are most often described as such “masks”. Aggressive-anxious and dependent-anxious types are distinguished (with varying degrees of awareness of anxiety). The aggressive-anxious type is most often found in preschool and adolescence, both in open and latent forms of anxiety, as a direct expression of aggressive forms of behavior. The anxiety-dependent type is most often found in open forms of anxiety, especially in acute, unregulated and cultivated forms.

Emotions play an important role in children's lives: they help to perceive reality and respond to it. Manifested in behavior, they inform the adult that the child likes, angers or upsets him. This is especially true in infancy when verbal communication is not available. As the child grows, his emotional world becomes richer and more diverse. From the basic ones (fear, joy, etc.), he moves on to a more complex range of feelings: happy and angry, delighted and surprised, jealous and sad. The outward manifestation of emotions also changes. This is no longer a baby who cries both from fear and from hunger. At preschool age, the child learns the language of feelings - the forms of expression of the finest shades of experiences accepted in society with the help of glances, smiles, gestures, postures, movements, voice intonations, etc. On the other hand, the child masters the ability to restrain violent and harsh expressions of feelings. A five-year-old child, unlike a two-year-old, may no longer show fear or tears. He learns not only to a large extent to control the expression of his feelings, to clothe them in a culturally accepted form, but also to consciously use them, informing others about his experiences, influencing them. But preschoolers are still spontaneous and impulsive. The emotions that they experience are easily read on the face, in the posture, gesture, in all behavior.

For a practical psychologist, the behavior of a child, the expression of his feelings is an important indicator in understanding the inner world of a small person, indicating his mental state, well-being, and possible development prospects. Information about the degree of emotional well-being of the child gives the psychologist an emotional background. The emotional background can be positive or negative. The negative background of the child is characterized by depression, bad mood, confusion. The child almost does not smile or does it ingratiatingly, the head and shoulders are lowered, the facial expression is sad or indifferent. In such cases, there are problems in communication and establishing contact. The child often cries, is easily offended, sometimes for no apparent reason. He spends a lot of time alone, not interested in anything. During the examination, such a child is depressed, not proactive, hardly comes into contact.

One of the reasons for such an emotional state of the child may be the manifestation of an increased level of anxiety. Anxiety in psychology is understood as a person's tendency to experience anxiety, i.e. an emotional state that occurs in situations of uncertain danger and manifests itself in anticipation of an unfavorable development of events. Anxious people live, feeling constant unreasonable fear. They often ask themselves the question: “What if something happens?” Increased anxiety can disorganize any activity (especially significant), which, in turn, leads to low self-esteem, self-doubt (“I couldn’t do anything!”).

Thus, this emotional state can act as one of the mechanisms for the development of neurosis, as it contributes to the deepening of personal contradictions (for example, between a high level of claims and low self-esteem). Everything that is characteristic of anxious adults can be attributed to anxious children. Usually these are very insecure children, with unstable self-esteem. Their constant feeling of fear of the unknown leads to the fact that they rarely take the initiative. Being obedient, they prefer not to attract the attention of others, they behave approximately both at home and in kindergarten, they try to strictly fulfill the requirements of parents and educators - they do not violate discipline, they clean up toys after themselves. Such children are called modest, shy. However, their exemplification, accuracy, discipline are protective in nature - the child does everything to avoid failure.

Excessive severity of parents also contributes to the emergence of fears. However, this happens only in relation to parents of the same sex as the child, i.e., the more the mother forbids the daughter or the father for the son, the more likely they are to have fears. Often, without hesitation, parents inspire fear in children with their never-realized threats like: “Uncle will take you in a bag”, “I will leave you”, etc.

In addition to these factors, fears also arise as a result of fixing strong fears in the emotional memory when meeting with everything that personifies danger or poses a direct threat to life, including an attack, an accident, an operation, or a serious illness. If anxiety intensifies in a child, fears appear - an indispensable companion of anxiety, then neurotic traits may develop. Self-doubt, as a character trait, is a self-destructive attitude towards oneself, one's strengths and capabilities. Anxiety as a character trait is a pessimistic attitude towards life when it is presented as full of threats and dangers. Uncertainty gives rise to anxiety and indecision, and they, in turn, form the corresponding character.

An insecure, anxious person is always suspicious, and suspiciousness breeds distrust of others. Such a child is afraid of others, waiting for attacks, ridicule, resentment. He does not cope with the task in the game, with the case. This contributes to the formation of psychological defense reactions in the form of aggression directed at others. So, one of the most famous methods, which anxious children often choose, is based on a simple conclusion: “in order to be afraid of nothing, you need to make sure that they are afraid of me.” The mask of aggression carefully hides anxiety not only from others, but also from the child himself. However, deep down they still have the same anxiety, confusion and uncertainty, lack of solid support.

Anxiety as a certain emotional infusion with a predominance of feelings of anxiety and fear of doing something wrong, not meeting generally accepted requirements and norms develops closer to 7 and especially 8 years with a large number of insoluble fears coming from an earlier age.

The main source of anxiety for preschoolers and younger schoolchildren is the family. In the future, already for adolescents, this role of the family is significantly reduced; but the role of the school doubles. It is noted that the intensity of anxiety experience, the level of anxiety in boys and girls are different. In preschool and primary school age, boys are more anxious than girls. This is due to the situations with which they associate their anxiety, how they explain it, what they fear. And the older the children, the more noticeable this difference. Girls are more likely to associate their anxiety with other people. The people with whom girls can associate their anxiety include not only friends, relatives, teachers. Girls are afraid of the so-called "dangerous people" - drunkards, hooligans, etc. Boys, on the other hand, are afraid of physical injury, accidents, as well as punishments that can be expected from parents or outside the family: teachers, school principals, etc.

Thus, a diffident, prone to doubt and hesitation, a timid, anxious child is indecisive, dependent, often infantile, highly suggestible.

The negative consequences of anxiety are expressed in the fact that, without affecting intellectual development in general, a high degree of anxiety can adversely affect the formation of divergent (i.e. creative, creative) thinking, for which such personality traits as the absence of fear of the new, the unknown are natural . Nevertheless, in children of senior preschool and primary school age, anxiety is not yet a stable character trait and is relatively reversible when appropriate psychological and pedagogical measures are taken.

2. Experimental study of the features of the teacher's work with shy and anxious children

.1 Identification of children with certain manifestations of shyness and anxiety

The main feature of the work of the educator is the prevention and correction of shyness and anxiety in children.

The work was carried out on the basis of MDOU No. 2 in Bryansk. Number of children: 20 people.

Object of research: children of preschool age.

Subject of research: shyness and anxiety of preschool children.

Purpose: to study the features of the work of a teacher with shy and anxious children

choose diagnostic methods

process the results

draw conclusions

Shyness is closely related to anxiety. To study the peculiarities of the teacher's work with shy and anxious children, the Anxiety Test method was used.

Methodology: An anxiety test developed by American psychologists (R. Temml, M. Dorki, V. Amen). The test is aimed at studying the child's anxiety in relation to a number of typical life situations of communication with other people.

Each drawing is made in two versions: for girls (the picture shows a girl) and for boys (the picture shows a boy). The child's face is not drawn in the figure, only the outline of the head is given. Each drawing is supplied with two additional drawings of a child's head, in size exactly corresponding to the contour of the face in the drawing. One of the additional drawings depicts a smiling face of a child, the other a sad one.

The drawings were presented to the child in a strictly listed order, one after another. Having presented the drawing to the child, the following instruction was given: “What do you think this child’s face will be, sad or cheerful?”

The protocols of each child were subjected to quantitative and qualitative analysis.

Depending on the level of the anxiety index, the children were divided into 3 groups:

a) high level of anxiety (IT over 50%);

b) the average level of anxiety (IT from 20 to 50%);

c) low level of anxiety (TI from 0 to 20%).

According to the results of the methodology, it turned out that 60% of children have a high level of anxiety, an average level of 30% and a low level of 10% of the subjects (Table 1).

Table 1. Level of anxiety

Anxiety level Number of children%high1260medium630low210total20100

Table 2. Qualitative analysis of responses

DrawingSayingChoiceHappy faceSad face1. Playing with younger childrenHe is tired of playing+2. A child and a mother with a babyWalks with mom, I like to walk with mom +3. The object of aggression I want to hit him with a chair. He has a sad face +4. DressingHe will go for a walk. Gotta get dressed +5. Playing with older childrenBecause he has children+6. Putting to bed aloneI always take a toy to bed+7. Washing Because he washes himself+8. ReprimandMom wants to leave him+9. Ignoring Because there is a baby +10. AggressivenessBecause someone takes away a toy +11. Picking up toysMom makes him, but he doesn't want to +12. IsolationThey don't want to play with him+13. Child with parentsMom and dad walk with him+14. Eating alone Drinking milk and I love thread milk +

Figs. 4 ("Dressing"), 6 ("Going to bed alone"), 14 ("Eating alone").

Children who have made a negative emotional choice in these situations have high IT; children who made negative emotional choices in the situations depicted in Fig. 2 (“Baby and mother with baby”), 7 (“Washing”), 9 (“Ignoring”) and 11 (“Toy picking”) have an average IT.

As a rule, the highest level of anxiety is manifested in situations simulating child-child relationships (“Playing with younger children”, “Object of aggression”, “Playing with older children”, “Aggressive attack”, “Isolation”)

The level of anxiety is significantly lower in drawings simulating child-adult relationships (“Child and mother with baby”, “Reprimand”, “Ignoring”, “Child with parents”), and in situations simulating everyday activities (“Dressing”, “Putting sleeping alone”, “Washing”, “Toy picking”, “Eating alone”).

According to the results of the study, it turned out that most of the children have a high level of anxiety. Therefore, educators need to take measures to overcome anxiety and shyness.

Work with shy children should be systematic and multifaceted. Its main purpose is to overcome this quality. The teacher can use both group and individual form of work. Main methods: game therapy, art therapy, fairy tale therapy, psycho-gymnastics, creative games, communication exercises.

Ways to solve the problem of shyness:

Help the child expand his circle of acquaintances: invite friends to him more often, visit familiar people with the child, expand the walking route, teach the child to be calm about new places;

You should not constantly worry about the child, strive completely, protect the child from possible dangers, do not strive to do everything for the child yourself, prevent any difficulties. To give the child a certain measure of freedom and the possibility of open actions.

Constantly reinforce the child's self-confidence, in their own abilities and capabilities. Help your child find something good in themselves for which they could respect themselves. Praise your child and teach him to accept praise from others.

Start involving the child in various tasks related to society, create situations in which a shy child would have to come into contact with "foreign adults."

It is not necessary to trust someone else's opinion about the child, because someone else's assessment was made in a different place, at a different time and under unknown circumstances. Before judging the behavior of the child, you need to understand the conditions caused by it, the reasons. Listen to the opinion of the child himself, get confused to understand and accept his point of view.

An unconditional positive attitude is the acceptance of a child with all the advantages and disadvantages, without giving vent to a feeling of dissatisfaction and the desire to change the child right now.

Create an atmosphere of trust in your home, stimulate the child. In order for him to tell you about his problems, listen to him, show sympathy.

Necessary:

constantly reinforce the child's self-confidence and self-confidence;

involve the child in the performance of various tasks related to communication;

expand your circle of acquaintances.

There are many tasks and exercises to overcome shyness in children:

exercises on the expressiveness of speech (“Different voices”, “Who is more”, “Roar, lion, growl”, etc.)

complex games that remove the fear of public speaking ("Fants", "Zoo", "Sorcerer", etc.).

One of the areas of work can be work with parents. The task of the educator is to explain to parents the characteristics of such children, as well as to introduce them to the methods of helping shy children at home. The educator, together with the parents, can instill confidence and adequate self-esteem in the child, form a sense of self-worth and develop social behavior skills in him. The parents of a shy child require patience and restraint in communication, support when trying to communicate with other children.

Thus, in the course of the successful work of a teacher with shy children, it is possible to remove the label of shyness from him, hung on him by other people, and reduce the level of anxiety. A clear, gradual, systematic impact on a shy child is necessary, only then can he become open and sociable.

Conclusion

Within the framework of this work, the concepts of shyness and anxiety were characterized from the point of view of pedagogy, on the basis of which the definition of shyness was singled out as a character trait, manifested in embarrassment, anxiety, indecision, difficulties in communication caused by thoughts about one's inferiority and the negative attitude of interlocutors towards oneself.

To solve the problem of shyness in children, a generalization of all known methods for eliminating shyness in children of primary school age was made. The role of educators and adults in the process of raising shy children.

In the course of practical work with children studying at MDOU No. 5, the overall percentage of shy children was identified according to certain criteria of shyness by interviewing students.

According to the results of the study, it turned out that 60% of children have a high level of anxiety, an average level of 30% and a low level of 10% of the subjects.

In this course work, recommendations were made to the teacher and parents on raising shy children.

Do not put labels on the child (no need to pay attention to the shyness of the child);

Follow the child, do not force the child to get into uncomfortable situations;

Remain in all cases calm, balanced and imperturbable;

Based on the above material, we can conclude that this course work proved the relevance of the problem posed, it developed important guidelines for educators in working with shy and anxious children.

Bibliography

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2.Volkova E.M. Difficult kids or difficult parents? - M.: Profizdat, 2014. - 196 p.

.Gurevich Yu. On the other side of shyness // Pedagogical kaleidoscope. -2012 - No. 5. - pp. 12-16

.Galiguzova L.N. Psychological analysis of the phenomenon of shyness / Questions of psychology. - 2010. - No. 5. - pp. 14-16

.Galiguzova L.N. Shy child // Preschool education. - 2011 - No. 4. - S. 116-120.

.Gasparova E. Shy child // Preschool education. Publishing house "Enlightenment". - 2011. - No. 3. - pp. 11-12

.Zimbardo F. Shyness (what it is and how to deal with it). - St. Petersburg: Peter Press, 2014. - 256 p.

.Karpenko V. Shyness // Education of schoolchildren. - 2013. - No. 2. - pp. 10-13

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Shyness is a fairly common phenomenon among children and adults, which is fraught with many problems. Shy children are often self-absorbed, not resolute, shy in communicating with adults and peers, acutely experience situations when they are in the spotlight, are characterized by particular suspiciousness and anxiety, as a rule, they have a high level of anxiety. After analyzing the content of the concept of "shyness", we can conclude that the problem of shyness is one of the urgent problems in psychological and pedagogical science. The main difficulties in communicating a shy child with other people lie in the sphere of his attitude towards himself and the attitude of other people towards him.

An analysis of the psychological and pedagogical literature revealed the following features of the manifestation of shyness in preschool children: isolation, fear, increased anxiety, a tendency to remain silent, selectivity in contacts with people, preference for communication with relatives and well-known people, and refusal or difficulty in communicating with strangers.

The content of the interaction of the teacher with the parents of shy children is concern for the development of the pupil, his well-being, state of mind, physical and mental health, success in activities, the status position of the child in the peer group, self-esteem and claims, abilities and prospects for his development, character traits and taking them into account in communication with the child, in the end, about the happiness of the growing personality.

Shy children tend to be quiet and calm, prefer quiet games, often alone. Shy children (mostly girls) are reluctant to make contact, shy, in contact with adults they try to avoid meeting their interlocutor's eyes. In games and other activities, they usually occupy secondary roles or do not take part at all. They show sensitivity to assessments of any kind, stiffness in movements, usually sit quietly and go about their own business. Shy children rarely do anything illegal, are shy, do not show initiative, are constantly focused on evaluating their actions. As a rule, they show stiffness in a new situation, rarely perform at holidays, often get lost when speaking, forget words, strive to be invisible in a peer group.

Unfortunately, many educators do not take into account the individual approach in working with such children. Communicating with children, educators practically do not use the pedagogical principles of working with shy children: the manifestation of unconditional love; pedagogical support; appeals to dignity; reliance on the positive in the child; respect for the personality of a shy child, etc.

The educator does not create a situation of success for children as the basis for the personal development of a shy child, practically does not use a single technique for organizing the successful activity of the child. If something does not work out for the child, most often the teacher completes it for him or shows how to do it. Evaluation of the results of productive activities of children is not always carried out professionally. More often, the teacher notes, for example, beautiful drawings or children's work, praises them, often leaving the work of shy children unattended. You can often hear comparative assessments of what was done well and what was bad, and if the child tries next time, it will turn out better. Often this further aggravates the situation of a shy child in a group of children.

1. You should not call the child shy and timid in his presence.
2. After asking a question or inviting a child to participate in a group event, you should always wait for his reaction and only on the basis of this apply the appropriate actions (persuasion, stimulation, finding out the reason for refusal, etc.).
3. If a child refuses to play with other children, you can offer him the role of an observer: "Look so that no one offends each other."
4. If it is noticed that a shy child does better than others, you should take advantage of this and invite him to teach other children. It is important to encourage and praise a shy child, noting all his achievements.
5. When reading fairy tales, often turn to a shy child with questions, be sure to wait for an answer from him.
6. You can not force a child to communicate with other children if he does not want it.
7. If you see that peers ignore or offend a shy child, you yourself must join the game, correct it and direct it.
8. In working with children, one must be fair, restrained and accept them as they are.

1. Accept him for who he really is with all his "pluses" and "minuses", with all the personality traits.
2. Do not compare your child with other children and do not focus on failures. On the contrary, try to notice all his slightest achievements and praise him for his successes. Your main task is to believe in the child so strongly and convincingly that the child believes you and is "infected" with your faith. Then he will become a self-confident person. After all, it is known: to achieve something in life, you can only believe in yourself.
3. Do not rush the child, give him time to get used to the new. A shy, timid child needs some time to get to know each other, take a closer look, understand the laws that apply in a new situation, be it a company of peers, a new teacher, a new apartment. Only by making sure that nothing threatens him there, he can calm down.
4. Don't force your child to "be brave". Your exhortations and notations will not bring results. The baby's anxiety is irrational in nature, because the child himself, up to seven years old, lives in a world of feelings and images, and not common sense. Saying “there is nothing to worry about here” is meaningless. You need to make your child feel safe. And what drives fear away better than mother's caress, mother's closeness?
5. Do not yell at children or in the presence of children!
6. There is no need to be afraid that by fencing off a child from negative experience and creating comfortable conditions for him to develop, you will grow up a “hothouse” person who is completely unadapted to the harsh reality. Of course, increased overprotection will only hurt. There is no need to "submit your hands" at every step, you need to create conditions for the development of independence and self-confidence. It is important for parents to give the child a certain freedom, the opportunity to make decisions and solve problems on their own. But it is equally important not to leave him alone with difficulties for which he is not yet ready.
   Remember: the experience of failures and defeats grounds, the experience of victories and success inspires. Help your timid baby spread his tender wings.
7. Expand your child's social circle, invite your child's friends more often, take your child to visit friends, expand the walking route, teach your child to be calm about new, unfamiliar places.
8. Involve your child in a variety of tasks related to communication. Encourage contact between the shy child and "stranger adults": ask him to buy bread or ask the library for a book. At the same time, try to be close to the baby so that he feels confident and calm.
9. Teach your child how to start and end a conversation. Make a list of phrases with your child that are easy to start a conversation with different groups of people, for example, what he could say to a friend; an adult with whom he had not met before; a friend whom he had not seen for some time; child with whom he would like to play on the playground. Then, changing roles, rehearse the conversation until the child becomes free and independently use these phrases. Hint: Practicing speaking skills over the phone with a friendly person isn't as scary for shy kids as talking face-to-face.
10. A request addressed to a shy child should contain specific tasks. It is important that it be expressed in a calm, soft voice, contain an address by name and be accompanied by a gentle touch. When communicating with shy children, it is necessary to exclude loud, harsh intonations, appeals in the form of orders, humiliating or critical statements. The main thing is tact and patience.
11. Practice behavior in different social situations. Prepare your child for the upcoming event - talk about the upcoming meeting of guests and preparations for the holiday. Then help him practice how to greet guests, how to behave at the table, what to talk about, and even how to say goodbye elegantly.
12. Support the child, emphasize his success in business, and also tell the child how much new and interesting things can be learned by communicating and playing with other children and adults.

Symptoms of shyness in children of different ages. The main causes of occurrence and modern methods of solving this problem. The role of parents in the development and treatment of the syndrome. Tips for a child to get rid of shyness.

The content of the article:

Shyness in a child is a state of mental health and his behavior among others, the main characteristics of which are timidity, indecision, shyness, fearfulness and stiffness. Most often, it first manifests itself at an early age and gives children such features as modesty, obedience, restraint. This is how masks are created, behind which the essence, the true character of the child is almost invisible, and his formation in society as a person is also hampered.

Reasons for the development of shyness in children

It is known that the child's psyche is not yet a fully formed system. Such imperfection makes the child vulnerable to even the most seemingly petty situations. As a result, the brain generates the activation of many defensive reactions, including shyness, secrecy and uncertainty.

There are several main causes of shyness in children:

• genetic predisposition. To date, due to many scientific studies, it has been proven that heredity is quite often the main and only triggering factor in the development of such a condition. The accumulation of various mutations in a number of generations endangers every child born in the future. In this case, one speaks of almost one hundred percent propensity.
• natural factors. It is worth mentioning here that each person has a specific type of nervous system. It is believed that it is introverts (secret and withdrawn) who are most susceptible to the development of such a quality as shyness. People with melancholic and phlegmatic types of temperament also become a huge risk group, but their absence also does not exclude the possibility of getting it. Studies say that excessive activity in childhood, which was stopped once, can result in shyness later.
• Social environment. This group includes all possible connections of the child with the outside world. Of course, the most important thing is family upbringing. The main problems are increased guardianship or, conversely, remoteness from the spiritual problems of the child. Parents are not able to provide moral comfort and support, deciding everything for him or not being interested in him at all. In this case, shyness is formed persistent and can accompany a lifetime. It happens that the reason is hidden in relation to peers. Excessive aggressiveness or activity of other children can suppress the desire to communicate with them.
• Violation of adaptation. Every few years in a child's life, he experiences some kind of adaptive reaction - to crawling, walking, self-care, attending a kindergarten, school and many other institutions. As they arise, positive and negative character traits are formed that instill in the child the ability to resist external influences. If such a process fails, it can lead to the development of insecurity, indecision and shyness.
• Somatic pathology. This refers to the presence of diseases of the internal organs, the signs of which can distinguish a child from other children. Most often, this is the presence of any developmental pathologies, traces of burns, frostbite, wounds that left marks on the body. Very often this becomes the cause of excessive attention or even teasing. Also, such a reaction can be traced to children with disabilities. In view of this, in order to limit himself, the baby closes, moves away from others, talks less and prefers to be alone most of the time.
• Wrong upbringing. Parental influence primarily shapes the child as a separate person. If it turns out to be too much, excessive guardianship leads to complete lack of independence and indecision in the future. Also, if maternal guardianship becomes more rigid and demands on children exceed their capabilities, an inferiority complex arises. Such a child withdraws and considers himself not good enough for manifestation in society.

The main symptoms of shyness in a child

It is necessary to start with the fact that a shy child really suffers. After all, this state guides him in all life situations. He cannot feel comfortable anywhere and with anyone. A constant feeling of insecurity and cowardice haunts every day. Unfortunately, many parents, trying to help, only exacerbate the situation. After all, the first thing they decide to remove the child from decision-making and do it on their own. As a result, even more inferiority and insecurity falls on him.

To know how to help your child overcome shyness, you need to learn a few signs of it. Among them:

Note! Very often, the listed signs are not considered alarming and are mistaken for the whims of the child, punishing him for this. As a result of such treatment, the condition of the baby is even more oppressed.

How to deal with shyness in a child

To achieve any result, it is necessary to understand that shyness is still not just a character trait, but a pathological condition. Only after realizing this, you can start looking for ways to solve this problem. It is worth looking for them immediately, because every day lived with such thinking leads the child to an independent way out of the situation. Often this is leaving home or even attempting suicide. Correction of shyness in children requires an integrated approach involving both themselves and the environment.

Mom and dad are the first and most important advisers in a child's life. It is from them that he writes off most of the manners of behavior, and they also make a correction of his own. It is very important that parents monitor the psycho-emotional state of children and help them adapt to new stages in life. This is especially necessary if their child is experiencing difficulties in communicating and realizing himself as a person.

To know how to overcome shyness in a child, you need to follow these tips:

• Do not scold. Shouting will provoke even more secrecy and shyness. Children will feel guilty for such behavior and will not come to their parents for advice or help in the future. This will only aggravate the situation and narrow the circle of trust to its complete absence. Such behavior will force the child to withdraw into himself, and it will be much more difficult to get him out of this state.
• Interested in personal life. Children in today's world are little adults. Do not think that there is nothing to talk about with them. These little people contain in themselves a huge inner world of experiences and worries that they cannot yet cope with alone. You need to find the right approach to the child, ask what he thinks about, why he does this or that action, with whom he is friends and what he is sad about. It is very important. If you manage to become not only a parent, but also a friend to him, you can save him from the problem on your own.
• be able to listen. Children need to be noticed. Due to the hustle and bustle of everyday life, there is often not enough time for them. And while we imitate attentiveness, children show and tell us about all their troubles. But, unfortunately, sooner or later they get tired of doing it. They are offended, withdraw into themselves and will no longer make contact. Therefore, every word spoken by children has its own meaning. You need to be able not only to listen to them, but also to hear them in order to have time to notice any problems and correct them.
• Support. Defeats, like victories, must be accepted. Children don't always know how to do it right. Often, after only one failure, they never dare to try again. Parental duty obliges to explain to the child that he is loved the way he is, and perfection is not required from him. You need to teach him to slowly and confidently walk towards his goal, despite previous defeats.
• Become an example. Children are a reflection of their parents. No one's features will be as reflected in them as the features of the mother in girls and the father in boys. Excessive demands can lead to feelings of shame. The child will be ashamed of his mistakes and worry that he did not live up to expectations. Therefore, parents, first of all, need to be able to admit their mistakes and show by personal example that this is not scary, but only stimulates further actions.
• Encourage. In fact, all children deserve the attention of their parents, and these in particular. Among the best ways are trips to cafes, amusement parks, performances. Various comedic performances will help the child learn to perceive himself and not pass off features as oddities. Spending time in familiar circles has an overall positive effect on children.

And yet, it is better to solve the problem from the inside. Overcoming shyness in children belongs to them. No matter how hard others try, they must take the most important step themselves. After all, until the child himself begins to change his attitude to reality, all attempts to help from the outside will be in vain.

To make it easier for him to do this, you can offer a few of the following tips:

1. Sure. Even if fear does not leave, it is always necessary to forbid it to express itself in any way outwardly. To make it easier, you need to straighten your shoulders, raise your chin, take a deep breath. This will help to show others that there is no panic and in front of them is a completely self-confident person.
2. To smile. This is a win-win option to gain the trust of an opponent. There is absolutely no need to portray panicked laughter or a fit of laughter. A slight smile on the face will be enough, which will relax and will subsequently predispose to the rest of the children.
3. Look into your eyes. This is the most difficult, but the most effective remedy. It is believed that a person who is able to keep his eyes on his interlocutor has an advantage over him. Maintaining eye contact also helps keep the conversation going, and the person feels more confident and relaxed.
4. Actively engage in dialogue. Don't be afraid to ask and be willing to answer questions. It is best to start with short verbal skirmishes, and over time it will be possible to join any conversation without difficulty. It is also important to show others your interest in what is happening.
5. Attend different events. Not the easiest task, but of great importance. Indeed, in a wide circle, a shy child can initially only listen and gradually join the team. Thus, too much attention will not be attracted to him, and he will be able to open up to others on his own. Suitable for children's birthdays, holidays.
6. Finding a hobby. Trying to find yourself is very important. To do this, you can enroll in various circles on creativity, needlework or with a sports bias. In most cases, a favorite thing will soon appear in which you can prove yourself and get a lot of pleasure from it. One of the best options is a theater studio. In such a place, you can develop a huge number of positive qualities, as well as get rid of shyness, indecision and shyness.
7. Fight fears. To do this, you need to decide to do what scares you the most, to dare difficult actions and step over your fear. This always brings many difficulties and obstacles. But after the elimination of at least one fear, a feeling of pride and joy for oneself comes.
8. Accept shyness. Self-denial destroys the lives of many people. Problems are easier to deal with if they are not afraid and accepted. You need to realize your special trait and not be ashamed of it, but transform, change or get rid of it. As soon as such a feeling comes, it will bring relief in the emotional sphere.
9. Get help. Our loved ones exist to help us. Independence is good only where it can destroy the problem. In this case, taking advice from the outside will be the right decision and will help you quickly adapt to the incomprehensible. Sometimes these are parents, friends, and maybe completely strangers who have found a common language.
10. Workout. In most cases, this approach helps the fastest. Physical exercises not only have a general strengthening effect on the body, but also affirm the position of such a child among the rest (especially if it is a boy). There are new skills and opportunities that can only be admired.

How to overcome shyness in children - look at the video:

Shyness in a child is a problem that occurs quite often and can lead to serious consequences. Most of the responsibility for children with this trait belongs to parents, who should not only be aware of it, but also be able to prevent it. The methods of getting rid of this quality are also quite simple and do not require the use of additional methods of treatment if used on time. Therefore, keeping an eye on children is the most important and useful advice in this case.

The main difficulties of a shy child are related to his own attitude towards himself and the experience of the attitude of others.

The results of the study of self-esteem (method "Ladder") showed that throughout the entire preschool age, shy children have a high overall self-esteem and are no different from their non-shy peers. These data correct the generally accepted idea of ​​the low self-esteem of a shy child. At the same time, such children have a gap in self-esteem and evaluation by other people. The sharpest differences were found in the assessments of children by educators and unfamiliar adults. In non-shy children, such gaps are rare and much less pronounced.

Shy children show much more pronounced disharmony in general self-esteem. Throughout preschool age, they retain high self-esteem and much lower evaluation from the point of view of other people. The child's expectation of a critical attitude towards himself from adults largely determines his timidity and embarrassment. This is especially evident in communication with strangers, whose attitude towards themselves they do not know. Not daring to get support from an adult, children sometimes resort to a peculiar way of strengthening the “I”, bringing their favorite toy to class and hugging it to themselves in case of difficulty, or asking to take a peer with them. The uncertainty of the adult's assessment "paralyzes" the child; he tries with all his might to get away from this situation, to switch attention from himself to something else.

Another parameter of self-esteem is the attitude of shy children themselves to successes and failures in their activities. It should be noted that in terms of the level of mental development and success in objective activities, these children are not inferior to their peers. Often, shy children are much better at completing tasks than their non-shy peers. Significant differences are found only in the dynamics of activity. This is manifested in the fact that shy children are more careful in their actions, more often slow down the pace of work in case of failure or a negative assessment, and are less persistent in achieving results than non-shy preschoolers. It is obvious that this aspect of activity is connected with the peculiarities of communication between shy children and adults.

Uncertainty in a positive assessment of an adult is transferred by these children to their attitude to their actions. All shy children are characterized by an acute and ambivalent experience of a negative assessment of an adult, which often paralyzes both the child's practical activity and communication. While a non-shy child in such a situation seeks to actively search for a mistake, a shy preschooler both internally and externally shrinks from guilt for his ineptitude, lowers his eyes and does not dare to ask for help.

Interesting differences are observed when analyzing the attitude of shy children to success or failure in activities. With age, it becomes increasingly difficult for a shy child to give a negative assessment of his specific actions. Children who are not shy see failure in exactly the opposite way. With age, they increase the number of direct messages to an adult about their difficulties (“It didn’t work out”, “Oh, everything is wrong, now I’ll do it differently”), their persistence in involving him in joint activities increases.

The attitude towards evaluation in shy children has its own age specifics. While young children react sharply and affectively to negative assessments, and express pleasure in response to positive ones, a paradoxical attitude towards adult praise is formed with age: his approval begins to cause an ambivalent feeling of joy and embarrassment. Starting from the fifth year of life, the child's attitude to success becomes more and more ambivalent. The child knows that he did the right thing, but the joy of success is mixed with embarrassment and inner discomfort. As a rule, to a direct question from an adult: “How did you do it?” - the child answers succinctly, with hesitation and reservations ("Good ... but not so good"). In case of success, unshy children report proudly and joyfully (“I did everything, not a single mistake!”, “Everything! I said that I can do it difficult!”, “Now everything! Look! Everything! So fast!”).

A shy child, as it were, prepares himself for failure in advance. That is why in his statements before and during the course of his activity, the words “I won’t succeed” so often sound. The formula of his non-shy peer sounds different: “I can still do it!” At the same time, being able to correctly assess their actions, the child does not dare to tell an adult about it. The expectation that he will be evaluated worse than himself, fetters the child, and he is afraid to admit not only to failure, but also to success.

To clarify the attitude of shy children to themselves, an analysis of children's drawings should be carried out. It is important to pay attention to the nature of the acceptance of the task and its implementation. As a rule, a shy child does not immediately decide to start drawing, looks embarrassedly at an adult, tries to refuse (“I don’t know how to be a person”, “I won’t succeed”). Having received the support of an adult, he goes over the pencils for a long time, not daring to choose the right one, often corrects the drawing, stops drawing and starts again, more and more embarrassed. In the process of drawing, he often looks inquiringly timidly at an adult, repeats that he is not succeeding. This behavior indicates that drawing is for the child an activity that will be evaluated, and this prevents open and direct expression of feelings. A shy child does not forget about evaluation even when it does not explicitly accompany his activity.

In the drawings of shy children, the first thing that attracts attention is the posture of a person. Very often it reflects the inner tension in which the child is.

The man is depicted in a frozen, constrained pose with arms tightly pressed to the body, sometimes without hands. Hands for a child symbolize interaction with the world of objects and people, the impact on them. The absence of hands in the drawings is interpreted as weakness, uncertainty in interpersonal relationships. Some shy children do not draw hands at all and explain the reason for this themselves: “He hid his hands under his clothes”, “I want her to hide her hands back.” There are other forms of fixing relationship problems. So, you can find the image of hands without fingers, but they stand out very clearly against the background of the pale contours of the figure. The child can return to the hands several times, shading them more and more thickly and making them the largest part of the drawing, as if focusing attention on his problem. The image of the legs in the figure of a person is also characteristic. Some children draw them tightly shifted and without feet, so the person is deprived of any support and the ability to move around. Others, on the contrary, concentrate special, exaggerated attention on the image of such a support, draw very thin legs widely spaced and leaning on the carpet or on the floor. An insecure child intuitively seeks support for himself, and it becomes the main and most traced part of the drawing.

A shy child is a child who, on the one hand, treats other people kindly, strives to communicate with them, and on the other hand, does not dare to show himself and his needs, which leads to disruption of interaction.

The reason for this violation lies in the special nature of the relationship of a shy child to himself. On the one hand, the child has a high overall self-esteem, considers himself the best, and on the other hand, he doubts the positive attitude of other people, especially strangers. Therefore, in communicating with them, shyness manifests itself most clearly. Uncertainty about one's own value for others blocks the emerging need-motivational sphere, does not allow one to fully satisfy the needs for joint activities and full communication.

Self-attitude in shy children is characterized by a high degree of fixation on their personality in any kind of interaction and self-assessment. Everything he does is constantly judged through the eyes of others, who, from his point of view, question the worth of his personality. Increased anxiety about one's "I" often obscures the content of joint activities and communication. The motives of recognition and respect always act as the main ones for him, obscuring both cognitive and business ones, which hinders the realization of his abilities and adequate communication with others. In communication with loved ones, where the nature of the relationship of adults is clear to the child, his anxiety fades into the background, and in communication with strangers, it again comes to the fore, provoking protective forms of behavior that manifest themselves in “withdrawal into oneself”, and sometimes in acceptance masks of indifference. The painful experience of his vulnerability fetters the child, does not give him the opportunity to show sometimes very good abilities, to express his feelings. But in situations where the child stops waiting for the assessment of others, he becomes as open and sociable as his non-shy peers.

16. 17. 24. Demonstrative children

Interpersonal relationships during preschool age undergo significant and regular changes. So, in the middle of preschool age (4–5 years), the need for peer recognition and respect appears and begins to dominate. In children's communication at this age, a competitive, competitive beginning appears. A peer becomes the subject of constant comparison with oneself. By comparing their specific qualities, skills and abilities, the child can evaluate and assert himself as the owner of certain virtues. Demonstrating your advantages becomes a form of self-affirmation.

This stage is natural and necessary for the development of interpersonal relationships. However, demonstrativeness often develops into a stable personality trait. The main motive for the child's actions becomes a positive assessment of others, with the help of which he satisfies his own need for self-affirmation. Sometimes, when doing a good deed, a child does it not for the sake of another, but for the sake of demonstrating his own kindness to others (a kind of “ostentatious altruism”). Demonstrativeness can manifest itself not only in the desire to show one's own merits and achievements. The possession of attractive objects is also a traditional form of self-demonstration. So, having received a beautiful toy as a gift, children often take it to kindergarten not to play it with others, but to show it off, to show it off.

When your little one suddenly becomes fearful, shy, indecisive and insecure, the situation causes anxiety and fear. To solve the problem, you need to know its psychological aspects. They will allow to determine the optimal conditions for the correction of shyness in preschool children.

Features of shyness in preschoolers

Often shyness is considered a positive trait of a child. The kid is given the characteristics of restrained, balanced, modest. In fact, such a state of mind does not allow the child to be himself, to demonstrate his real character and characteristics. This negatively affects his condition, each time aggravating the situation.

The behavior of a shy kid causes misunderstanding in people. Such a position of others affects the self-perception of the child, who is even more immersed in a state of shyness. It turns out a vicious circle. To inspire self-confidence, the baby spends a large amount of energy, which also affects his condition.

The nature of the state

Shyness is a mental state that manifests itself in a person in the form of indecision, timidity, tension, stiffness and awkwardness. This condition is also often referred to as shyness or timidity.

Psychological research shows that shyness can be of two types:

1. Discomfort from the presence in the company of other people.
2. Discomfort with yourself.

You should not take the phenomenon in question as a normal state with a slight negative connotation that can be ignored. Studies in psychology show that shyness is a difficult emotional state that affects the entire human body.

Signs of Shyness

It is possible to determine the presence of shyness in a preschool child by identifying the characteristic signs that accompany him in the process of communication for a long time.

1. Lack of lightness, spontaneity and looseness, as well as unreasonable tension and impulsiveness in communication.
2. Tightness, stiffness.
3. Focus on your personality.
4. Fear of making a mistake.

Manifestations of shyness in the behavior of preschoolers:

• a look from under your brows, avoiding eye-to-eye contact;
• taciturnity, difficulty speaking;
• poor play activity;
• detachment from events that actually arouse interest;
• quiet voice, whisper;
• fidgeting in a chair;
• hunched shoulders.

Situations that cause shyness:

• being in the center of attention;
• giving a speech in front of people;
• new environment;
• communication with members of the opposite sex;
• performing tasks/playing in a group of children.

Causes of excessive modesty in children

There are two main reasons for the development of shyness:

1. Low self-esteem, self-doubt.
2. Lack of social skills.

A number of researchers add a few more reasons that provoke the development of shyness. These include:

• heredity;
• internal mental contradictions;
• natural reaction to the violation of the established boundaries of decency;
• self-hypnosis;
• weakness of the central nervous system;
• the rapid development of society, sudden technological changes in life;
• crisis of intra-family relations, defective families, parents' focus on the material aspects of education;
• features of temperament, nervous system;
• excessive parental care, complete lack of participation in the life of the baby.

Age features

Shyness manifests itself from a very early age, when the baby begins to actively interact with other people.

Consequences of developing shyness:

1. Lack of joy of communication.
2. Trouble finding friends.
3. Lack of communication support.
4. Formation of complexes, development of phobias.
5. Difficulties in the learning process.
6. The impossibility of full implementation in professional activities and personal life.

A number of researchers highlight in their works the positive impact of moderate shyness on the development of the child. He is more protected from emotional overload, overexcitation of the nervous system as a result of communication. Timid children are protected from communication and contacts with strangers, their inner world is richer and better developed.

Shyness in adult life is expressed in poise, restraint, respect for the personal space of other people.

Conditions for correcting childhood shyness

Parents, kindergarten teachers and psychologists should participate in overcoming the shyness of preschoolers.

To effectively correct shyness in children, 2 key conditions must be met:

1. Gradually expand the circle of communication, forming and consolidating the necessary skills. It is important to work competently with other participants in communication.
2. With the help of an individual approach, the child's self-confidence should be strengthened, taking into account the characteristics of the child's personality.

Tips to follow to create these conditions:

• constantly nurture the baby's self-confidence;
• involve in various activities, gradually complicating the communicative component with other children;
• expand the circle of acquaintances - visit new places, go to visit, invite friends to your home.

Psychologists recommend correcting the shyness of preschoolers in a group in four stages:

1. Creating motivation for communication and mastering communication skills. To solve this problem, therapeutic sessions with the use of games, fairy tales, and relaxing exercises are excellent.
2. Teaching the skill of self-establishment of contact. Relaxing exercises, collective games, role-playing performances, drawing are used here.
3. Expanding the boundaries of the baby's world of emotions through a variety of games.
4. Application of mastered communication skills in a creative environment. The task is solved by free communication of children, group games of a creative nature with minimal adult intervention.

External conditions for the four-stage corrective therapy:

• frequency of classes: 1-2 times a week;
• fixing all behavioral changes of a preschooler in the classroom;
• the duration of one lesson is not more than half an hour;
• correction lasts 7 months;
• optimal age: 4-6 months;
• number of children in a group: 4-6.

The role of play therapy is to overcome uncertainty. Games can help to relax, overcome psychological barriers in communication with parents and peers, expand behavioral variations in interaction.

To correct the behavior of very shy children in kindergartens, psychologists recommend the following games:

1. Who is ahead. Chairs are placed in the center of the room. The number of chairs is one less than the number of children playing. The essence of the game is simple - the children begin to walk around the chairs. On a signal, they sit on them. When seated, do not push. The kid who did not have time to sit down receives a penalty point. There are several rounds. The teacher explains every time that the baby who remains standing does not sit down because of his politeness and good manners. This approach allows you to keep the interest and motivation of children in the game, they lose their insecurity and fear.
2. Similarity search. Children take turns tossing a ball or toy to each other. The kid throwing the ball to the neighbor must have time to say the similarity that connects him to the receiving neighbor. The goal of the game is team building, developing the habit of communicating freely in a group.
3. Dinosaurs. Children pretend to be dinosaurs. The game removes stiffness and removes fears when addressing the public.
4. The roar of lions. The teacher tells the children to imagine themselves as lions. At the signal: "Roar, lion, roar!", the children should roar. The main thing is that the roar is as loud as possible. The game allows you to help very shy children overcome stiffness, isolation, indecision.

Puppet therapy plays a significant role in the effectiveness of eliminating shyness in preschoolers. At the first stages of correction, the doll replaces the children. With her, the baby loses the elements of communication and masters communication skills. A positive, trusting attitude to toys allows you to overcome the psychological barriers of the baby. Puppet therapy allows you to solve a whole range of problems:

• expand the options for communicative self-expression of the baby;
• strengthen the stability and regulation of the mental state;
• design a child-parent relationship.

Tips from psychologists for parents when dealing with very shy children:

1. Active communication on a parity, equal, respectful basis. Parents praise their children for their playful and educational interest. In the process of communication, inaccuracies or errors are “not noticed”. Toddlers perceive themselves as independent, able to solve their problems through communication.
2. Formation of a warm, trusting and safe relationship between children and parents, through the active participation of parents in the lives of kids (conversations, games, walks).
3. Increase self-esteem - build children's activities with their frequent success in activities.
4. Do not compare with other children, do not blame or shame.
5. In communication, do not undermine the authority of important people (grandparents, educator, other parent).
6. Show educational consistency in rewards and prohibitions.
7. The most frequent joint pastime.

The modern technological environment, the Internet, has a significant impact on the development of shyness. A person from birth is in contact with numerous gadgets. Issues of communication and interaction with the world are solved remotely, without direct contact. All this leads to a person's unpreparedness for real interaction with the world. The psyche reacts to this insecurity with shyness.

To overcome the problem, parents must limit their kids from contact with technological devices and modern means of communication. It is necessary to form social skills of interaction and communication. And this happens while playing with parents, reading books with grandmother, playing with peers in the gazebo.