How to find a way out of life's impasse or what to do if everything does not go well? If everything in life does not go well what to do prayer Does not go well with your personal life.

Sigmund Freud argued that we run from fear and reach for pleasure. Some clever people, using Freud's theory, advanced the carrot and stick method. And hurray, it worked! Now all methods of influencing a person are based on this simple principle. So why isn't life going well? Why, when we want to change for the better of our own free will, we do little? Drinking and smoking is harmful, overeating, in principle, is not useful, you want great and pure love and it would be time to radically change your life, but ... We destroy and cripple our body with enviable constancy. We adults and reasonable people put off all attempts to be happier until Monday. And since Monday we have been repeating old mistakes: we quarrel, drink, smoke, get divorced and quit a good job.

I hasten to tell you that Freud's principle is not violated. Freud is right as always. We may well derail our life, like a train, as it can bring us, albeit distorted, but pleasure.

Why is life not going well? What is behind bad habits

There is a principle of "secondary benefits" in psychology. Benefit can be understood as some kind of dividends that we receive even from bad actions and bad habits. Why secondary? Because these benefits are secondary and not visible at first glance. But they can play a big role in a person's life.

For example, a 40-year-old man with serious lung disease wants to quit smoking. And the doctors scared me a lot, and he coughs a lot, and he himself understands what is harmful. But he cannot do anything. Is there a benefit? Yes! When this man smoked a cigarette in adolescence, he felt strong, mature and successful, he began to be respected. Therefore, to quit smoking for his subconscious means to become a weakling, a child, a slob. And, making attempts, like, "a day without a drag", he deprives himself of all these regalia. It's a shame! Therefore, we have a strong, adult and successful destroyer of our health.

Or here's another. A woman has constant claims to her man, swears with him, nags, he does not suit her. And the salary is small, and bald, and fat, and in bed there is nothing special, in general, "none." Neither the children nor the housing issue are holding her, and she does not dare to leave him. So he has been sawing it for many years. He, of course, has its own benefits. And what is the benefit to her? Her benefit may be that, against his background, she feels like a wealthy, sexy and in-demand woman. Why isn't it going away? Because in fact, deep inside, it feels like a "dummy". And if she falls into the hands of a successful man, against his background, all her complexes and shortcomings will instantly appear. Therefore, it is unpleasant for her to live with an average fat man, and to feel like a “Man” next to him is profitable and convenient.

We are looking for a benefit!

Successful detectives and detective fans know that the culprit should be sought among those who benefit from the crime. In our case, it should be said that we do stupid things in life because they have some kind of pleasure, even if stupid, for us. This is the secondary benefit.

Sometimes life is bad and difficult for a person, but he is not going to change anything. It means that in the "swamp" in which he sat up, he is very comfortable, that is. profitable.

So, if, if you want to change yourself or others, but not very well, look for benefits. If you find the benefit, you will find the cause of your misfortunes. And then compare the happiness that you give up without changing, and the small pleasures that you have right now. If you realize and compare the scale of big losses and small joys, I think you will want to change your life.

Religious reading: if everything goes wrong in life what to do prayer to help our readers.

Every person has troubles in life that require help from Above. In many situations, we pray for the protection of the Holy Pleasure, because they have the audacity to pray for us before the Almighty. In addition, they, too, at one time were ordinary people and understand our problems.

And after death, the Lord granted them the gift of helping people in various situations.

When to ask for help with prayer

Work is where a person spends most of their life. Labor activity gives us the opportunity to provide ourselves and our family with material benefits.

But sometimes a “black streak” comes at work, a series of troubles, which forces us to look for a way out of problems. Of course, you can endure attacks from colleagues and bosses, be under stress every day or look for a new job, which is quite difficult during a crisis.

Prayer for troubles at work to the Saints can influence the situation and change it for the better.

Icon of the Most Holy Theotokos "Seven-shot"

The Blessed Virgin Mary is able to solve any problem, enlighten enemies and calm their hearts. The Mother of God will protect from enemies, eliminate omissions among colleagues, and establish a microclimate.

O Mournful Mother of God, who surpasses all the daughters of the earth in her purity and in the multitude of sufferings that you brought to the earth! Accept our many-use sighs and preserve us under the roof of Your mercy, another refuge and warm intercession, unless You have us, but, as you have boldness for Who was born from You, help and save us with Your prayers, so that we will unswervingly reach the Kingdom of Heaven, the kingdom of God with all the saints let us sing praises in the Trinity to the One God, always, now, and ever, and forever and ever. Amen.

Saint Nicholas the Wonderworker

Nicholas of Mirlikisky is one of the most beloved and especially revered saints among our people.

His miracles are innumerable, he helps people in almost all matters and situations in life, including resolving work conflicts.

Oh, all-holy Nicholas, the most splendid of the Lord, our warm intercessor, and everywhere in sorrow a quick helper! Help me sinful and sad in this present life, pray to the Lord God with the gifts of the forgiveness of all my sins, greatly sinned from my youth, in all my life, in deed, word, thought and all my feelings; and at the end of my soul, help the accursed one, pray to the Lord God, all creatures of the Sourer, to save me from airy ordeals and eternal torment: may I always glorify the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, and your merciful intercession, now and forever and forever. Amen.

Saint Tryphon

Prayer to the saint favors desperate and weak-minded people to get out of a difficult situation.

The Lord rewarded the future saint with the gift of healing in childhood. The boy could cast out demons, heal the sick. According to legend, Saint Tryphon saved one of the cities from creeping reptiles, for which the Emperor Troyan, an enemy of Christianity, subjected him to torture, and then ordered him to behead, which is still kept in the Montenegrin Cathedral of Saint Tryphon.

The saint does not refuse anyone, he reveals new ways to believers in his help and gives strength for good deeds.

O holy martyr of Christ Tryphon, I resort to you in prayer, before your image I pray. Ask our Lord for help in my work, for I suffer inertly and hopelessly. Pray to the Lord and ask him for help in worldly matters. In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen

Mitrofan Voronezhsky

They pray to the saint in conflict situations at work.

In his youth, he served as a priest in one of the parishes, thanks to which his household lived in prosperity and peace. Having become a widower, the cleric thought about asceticism and was appointed Bishop of Voronezh.

Mitrofan became famous for his deeds of mercy and assistance in resolving conflicts. He will always intercede for the one asking.

About the Bishop of God, Saint Mitrofan of Christ, hear me, sinner (name), at this hour, I offer you a prayer, and pray for me as a sinner to the Lord God, may he forgive my sins and give (request for work) prayers, holy, yours. Amen.

Spiridon Trimifuntsky

Prayer to the holy Wonderworker should come from the very heart, he will not help in deception, and the pure thoughts of the one asking will be of great benefit.

We must not forget about the thanksgiving of the saint who stands before the Lord for help.

O blessed Saint Spyridon! Ask us, servants of God (names), from Christ and God our peaceful, serene life, mental and physical health. Remember us at the throne of the Savior and pray to the Lord, may he grant forgiveness of our sins, a comfortable and peaceful life. We send glory and thanksgiving to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and forever, and forever and ever. Amen.

Apostle Peter

Prayer for work will strengthen the spirit and faith, relieve temptation, and help in difficult situations.

Prayer to the Optina elders

Lord, give me peace of mind to meet all that the coming day will bring me. Let me completely surrender to the will of Your saint. For every hour of this day, instruct and support me in everything. Whatever news I receive during the day, teach me to accept them with a calm soul and a firm conviction that everything is Your holy will. In all my words and deeds, guide my thoughts and feelings. In all unforeseen cases, do not let me forget that everything has been sent down by You. Teach me to act directly and reasonably with every member of my family, without embarrassing or upsetting anyone. Lord, give me the strength to endure the fatigue of the coming day and all the events during the day. Lead my will and teach me to pray, believe, hope, endure, forgive and love. Amen.

Reading psalms

In the Psalms, the Word of God is revealed to the prayer books.

David's songs help to get rid of any everyday misfortune, to appease ill-wishers who do evil. Reading psalms can protect you from demonic attacks.

• 57 - if the situation is heated around and there is no way to calm the "storm", prayer will protect and call upon the help of the Lord;
• 70 - will tell you the way out of the conflict, take away the tyrant boss;
• 7 - helps to resist resentment and quarrels, indicates the right steps to solve the problem;
• 11 - pacifies the spirit of an evil person;
• 59 - reveals the truth to the boss in case the employee has become a victim of gossip or conspiracy.

Prayer rules

At the entrance to the Holy Temple, you must cross yourself three times. It is important to touch your body with your fingers, and not cross the air.

Having entered the chapel of the temple and stood in front of the face of the saint, you need to concentrate and devote your thoughts to the saint, to whom the prayer will be addressed.

It is advisable, before turning to the saint, to read his life, confess his sins, and take communion. And strong faith and Orthodox spirit will give strength in the current situation.

In petitions, one should not forget about elementary gratitude. Even if the request has not yet been fulfilled, then you need to continue the prayer, not to deny the saints and not to blame anyone.

It should be remembered that every action and event has its own time and place.

May it be so and so be it!

May the mental anguish

Will float away from me

Let them come back to me again

Joy, happiness and love!

May it be so and so be it!

Appeal to Nikolai Ugodnik

Oh, Nicholas, my holy miracle worker!

I am a sinner before you.

I came to you with great prayer,

Oh, don't leave! I get tired in life!

My cross is heavy, but I do not murmur,

I carry it from an early age.

I'm tired, great miracle worker,

Save me and keep me forever.

You led us sinners out of the dungeon

You showed us, the lost, the way,

And how many times, great miracle worker,

You helped in my sinful life.

And don't leave my prayer

Come to the rescue and lend a hand.

I'm tired, great miracle worker,

Save and keep me on the way.

Amen. Amen. Amen.

Appeal to the brownie

If trouble has come to your home, perform this ceremony immediately. True, for it you will need the painted egg left over after Easter, but many keep them, so you will not face serious problems during the preparation for the ceremony. And one more thing: the ceremony is carried out in complete silence.

So, in the early morning, when it is still dark outside, take an egg in one hand, and a lighted candle in the other. First, cross with an egg, and then with a candle, then change hands (take the egg in the hand in which you held the candle, and the candle in the hand in which you held the egg) and say:

Uncle brownie, uncle courtyard,

Come to my candlelight

From the egg that the cakes have sacred,

On the greenery, like an oak leaf,

Into the blue, like a river bank.

Come as I am myself

I'll give you a Christ egg.

Help me, help me

Take my grief

(tell us what happened)

From my family, from me.

Hostess Lord, help my trouble.

In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Leave the candle and the egg where you read the plot, and go to bed. The brownie himself knows what to do to help your grief.

If everything goes wrong in life what to do prayer

If nothing goes well in life

If you are tormented by melancholy and resentment, you are already tired of mental suffering, then do not sit idly by - help yourself.

You will need some kind of vessel, such as a glass jar. The main thing is that it has a tight-fitting lid. Wait for the 13th of any month and make sure that no one interferes with the ceremony at midnight of this day. Sit down at the table, light a candle, take a blank sheet of paper and a pen with red ink.

For five minutes, look at the flame of a candle and think about what torments you, worries, what you need to get rid of. Then write on a sheet of paper everything that came to your mind about what prevents you from living in peace. Don't try to write beautifully - it doesn't matter, the main thing is your emotions and feelings.

Having written everything down, crumple the paper and light it from the flame of a candle. Prepare an ashtray or plate in advance where you put the ashes. I have had a special bronze ashtray from India for a long time. I use it every time I need to burn paper for magical purposes.

So, while the paper is on fire, tell us about how you feel, how melancholy leaves you, how you get rid of mental anguish, depression, everything that prevented you from living normally. When the paper burns out, say:

May it be so and so be it!

Dip the ash into the jar and close it tightly, saying the word "Alminar!" Put out the candle and continue the ceremony. (Do everything quickly!) Put the can of ash in an iron bucket or pan (only iron, not in a plastic one!), Cover the pan with a lid. After that, go to bed, but lie down with your feet in the direction in which you always lay your head. Be sure to put two crossed spoons under the bed - they will help you recuperate.

The next day at noon, you need to go to the nearest pond or stream. Throw the can of ash into the water as far as possible and say:

May the mental anguish

Will float away from me

Let them come back to me again

Joy, happiness and love!

May it be so and so be it!

After that, throw after the cans everything that comes to hand: a stick, a stone, a handful of sand, etc.

Leave quickly without looking back.

At home, light the candle again and hold your hands over it. When your hands get warm, run them over your face - “wash yourself” with the energy of fire. Then touch the chest, the solar plexus - close the energetically spiritual wound. Repeat these movements until you feel calm and happy. Relax, take your time: business will wait. Lie down, remember your feelings. And repeat the ceremony with a candle for several days in a row in the mornings and evenings. Take your time with it, and soon you will not recognize yourself. You will only be amazed: where have longing and sadness gone?

Things are not going well in my life. Can I be damaged? Question from Dmitry

Hello!

Something incomprehensible is going on in my life. IM married. Nothing goes well with my wife. There is no sex, no mutual sympathy, but I can't leave her !!

The other day I found out that my mistress is pregnant, I told my wife the whole truth !!

Persistent health problems. He crashed the car. Nothing goes well with work either. I drink beer every day !!

Every person has troubles in life, unfortunately, no one can do without them. But if problems arise in all spheres of life, and their number is constantly increasing, growing like a snowball, then, of course, doubts arise - maybe these are the intrigues of ill-wishers ?!

You know, there is such a thing as bad luck spoilage. Perhaps one of your enemies pointed it at you. To find out if you have damage or not, do the following.

Rite of passage to determine damage to bad luck

To carry it out, you will need a glass of clean cold water and a fresh chicken homemade egg.

Sit on a chair, hold the glass in your hand for a few minutes, so that the water is charged with your energy. Then gently break the egg into the water, raise the glass above your head and hold for about five minutes. Now watch the result.

If the water in the glass remains clear, and the protein lies at the bottom, then your energy is clean. If white tangled threads of protein stretch up from the yolk, then this suggests that you really have damage or an evil eye, which prevents you from living a normal life.

If you, Dmitry, found that you are not all right, you must definitely shoot the negative!

Removal of spoilage for bad luck

You will need eight fresh chicken eggs.

Every day, before going to bed, break an egg into a glass of water and place this glass at the head of the bed. In the morning, first of all, without talking to anyone, pour the contents of the glass into the toilet with the words:

"Let everything bad, bad go away from me along with this egg."

Throughout the entire period, the eggs will remove all negative energy from you, and on the ninth day the water in the glass will be transparent! And the protein will lie at the bottom.

This will indicate that now there is nothing wrong with you. After that, your business will go uphill, problems will be resolved.

If you do not find damage, then this means that it is only in yourself, and there was no outside interference in your life.

Try to calmly understand the current situation, sort everything out on the shelves, understand the reason for what is happening. If you yourself created this situation, then it is in your power to solve it!

Prayers for getting rid of problems and failures

The presence of difficult problems indicates that a person has gone astray. Prayer will help you to replenish your strength, strengthen your faith, and overcome difficulties.

Since ancient times, God and his Holy Saints have helped people to fight various misfortunes. Tormented souls always find consolation in God's gracious intercession. You should turn to the Creator according to church canons, with love in your soul and sincerity in words.

Why problems appear

First of all, misfortunes overtake people who have gone astray. The Lord points to this through a series of bad luck and failure, thereby saving you from making new mistakes. But there are exceptions: sometimes our Creator wants us to have patience and be able to endure everything that is in store for us. In both cases, the Almighty educates each of us with personal participation, wanting only the best.

Evil tests the soul of every person every day. People who have forgotten about faith and become hostages of their own temptations will sooner or later meet the wrath of God. Everyone will find salvation in the grace of the Creator. It is necessary to turn to God and his holy saints daily in prayer and thanksgiving.

Prayers for deliverance from problems help everyone and always, since they are addressed to the most powerful of God's Pleasants. You can say prayers in moments of sadness, loss of strength, at an hour when your faith is shaken or you feel that you have lost your way. Everyone and everyone, regardless of age and gender, sometimes needs the Highest help. Not to mention those cases when a person faced bad luck, misfortune and problems face to face. God will not leave you in difficult times. You should ask the Lord and his Companions to get rid of problems by reading the prayer Our Father.

Protecting prayer to the Guardian Angel

Who, if not your Guardian Angel, can help strengthen your personal strength and believe in your own capabilities? He has been appointed to you by the Lord in his ministry to protect your soul and guide you in moments of despair. The sacred text sounds like this:

“Angel of God, my Guardian. You and your intercession were given to me from above. I pray for Your help, illuminate all obstacles in my path with a bright light, save my soul from all evil and guide me to good deeds. In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen".

Prayer to the Cathedral and the 12 apostles, protecting from problems and troubles

This prayer will save you from any trouble. Reading is best approached when the soul is tormented. The mighty power of the twelve apostles will erect a wall around you that cannot be broken by any misfortunes.

“Oh, Holy Apostles, Peter, Andrew, James, John, Philip, Bartholomew, Thomas, Matthew, James, Jude, Simon and Matthias! Hear our prayers, sinful servants of God, broken hearted. Help us (name), pray for our sins before the Lord and beg him to deliver us from demonic interference, evil and hypocrisy. Endow faithful and unshakable faith, so that the Almighty will see all our love and help overcome troubles, misfortunes and sorrows, protect our lives and hearts with his intercession. We kneel before the power of the Council, glorifying the Lord God forever and ever. Amen".

Prayer to Nicholas the Wonderworker for deliverance from failures

Everyone is asking for intercession from Nicholas the Wonderworker: both Christians and scientists, deeply believers and atheists. Even people of another religion turn to the Saint with reverence and requests. The reason for such a strong veneration of the Divine Pleasant is known - powerful help is not long in coming. Prayer next to the image of St. Nicholas the Wonderworker:

“Oh, Great Nicholas! Shepherd of God and teacher of all believers, hear our prayers, addressed to Your intercession. Deliver sinful servants of God from problems that entail trouble and suffering. Protect and preserve with your holy participation from worldly failures, cowardice, laziness and the invasion of adversity. We beg You, Wonderworker, to protect you from the evil eye, save you from hunger, fire, rebellion, wars and other misfortunes. You, the Great One, have saved more than one person from terrible troubles, so come to me (name) to help. Deliver me from the wrath of God and eternal torment, having prayed for me in front of him for all my sins. I appeal to your mercy. In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen".

Prayer for deliverance from problems to the life-giving Cross

Believers bow their heads before the cross on which our Savior was crucified. The bodily anguish experienced by Christ in the name of our happiness and eternal life will remain in everyone's memory until the end of days. This prayer will help to contain the blows of fate with the humility with which Jesus endured torment. Text:

“May the Lord rise and disappear at once all that fears the gaze of the Most High. All obscene things from a righteous life will go away like smoke. All evil will descend back into the abyss of darkness and sin. The sign of the cross reminds us of the pain of Christ, of his torment and the might of the spirit. Our Savior, who descended into hell, equalized the forces of good and evil and helped every creature of God to gain eternal life. The given cross will drive away all sorrow, pain, misfortune from the one who deserves to wear it on his chest. Help me, Holy Son of the Lord, and Virgin Mary with all the Saints forever. Amen".

Every saint has a certain power received from the Lord during his lifetime. With the help of prayers, you can not only strengthen your own faith, receive the intercession of the Almighty, but also change your destiny. I wish you success, and don't forget to press the buttons and

In the life of any woman, such a critical moment can come when it seems to her that she is at an impasse - dissatisfaction accumulates in relations with loved ones, thoughts of approaching old age arise, it seems that her own appearance leaves much to be desired, irritation from work or business appears. She is constantly overcome by negative thoughts that life has failed, the desire to go out disappears and it seems that there are no forces at all.

How to find a way out of life's impasse and what to do if everything does not go well, how to cope with this crisis? The first thing to do is to determine the true reasons that caused this mental disorder. Is everything really so bad in reality or is it just it seems? What exactly provokes the emergence of such an attitude and dissatisfaction with life?

You will need a pen, paper, and your own honesty.

1. Write down the points that literally do not satisfy you in life. Try not to hide anything and not be cunning with yourself. If you are not satisfied with your work activity, do not like your boss or your salary, write down this problem in detail. Not satisfied with your own appearance, for example, you haven't been to a pedicure or epilation for a long time? Are you overweight and don't fit into your favorite jeans? Such a seemingly trifle baffles any woman. It happens that there is disappointment in family life, and it seems that you are not loved. Describe on paper absolutely anything that takes away your peace of mind and happiness.

2. Now, turn the paper over and write on the back side everything that is good and light in your life. This exercise may require much more effort than the first, since it is quite difficult to think about good things when cats are scratching their hearts. Gather your will in a fist and start looking for the positive. Let's say you have a house or an apartment - it's a great joy and a reason to thank the universe for this. Many people live in rented apartments or hostels their entire lives. Or, for example, you have close friends who, of course, cannot solve all the problems for you, but are always ready to provide moral support and listen to you. Write about it. Even a simple child's drawing or your child's declaration of love to you helps to stop the avalanche of negativity. If you concentrate on all the positive events and moments that surround you and start thanking God for every little thing, then very soon the mood will change radically. Make this exercise a nightly ritual, and the result will not be long in coming.

3. Having determined for yourself what saddens you the most, it is time to start specific actions. Appearance problems? Wonderful! Sign up for a beauty salon with a pedicure or masseuse right away. Do you need to change your job for a new one? Fine! Look for her, be active, post your resume, look through offers for vacancies, ask friends and acquaintances, and a new job will find you by itself. Bodybuilding problems? OK! There is a reason to start doing gymnastics in the morning, sign up for a pool, go to dance school, or go on a diet. After dropping a few pounds, treat yourself to a gift - a ticket to the theater, a trip to the sea, or your favorite treat (if that's what makes you happy). It is important to notice even the smallest successes, reward and praise yourself. Nothing in life will change if you just sit back and grieve about the vicissitudes of fate.

4. Often the banal accumulated fatigue leads to depressive thoughts. Pay attention to active and healthy rest. A picnic in nature, a hike with a family for mushrooms, a trip to the country house with friends, a visit to a sauna or steam room with friends will help you switch and relax. Do not deny yourself the pleasure, indulge in a warm, foamy and fragrant bath. Add 2-3 drops of orange essential oil to it, which is not only a natural antidepressant, but also helps to lose weight and fight cellulite. Find the relaxation methods that you like best.

What are the main reasons for female loneliness, why you should not wait for an active position from men and why does the thought "give birth for yourself" arise. We are discussing one of the most pressing topics with which women turn to a psychologist - "I cannot build a relationship."

Arseny Volodko
psychologist

The average age of those who first see a psychologist is 27-30 years. As a rule, it is by this moment that the problems and complexes that a person has become apparent. And one of the main requests of women is "I cannot build a relationship." If in her youth a girl thought “Oh, it didn’t work out, it didn’t work out that way - I have everything ahead of me,” then by 30 this thought is replaced by the assumption that something is wrong with her.

After 30 years, problems in their personal life are usually addressed by women who have been in dependent relationships for a long time. For example, with a married man. Such a relationship drags on like a swamp, and, despite the suffering, the desire to change something, a woman still cannot leave a man. But by the age of 35 he decides to admit it and goes to a psychologist.

The main reasons why women are single

Based on my experience, I can identify several main reasons that lead to the fact that a woman is alone:

• unfavorable relations in the family of parents (a father who drinks; a father who left his mother - on this basis, mistrust towards men is formed in principle);
• personal psychological characteristics (a girl makes the same mistakes in a relationship, plays the same scenario);
• strong addictive relationships in the past (as a rule, if a girl was in such a situation, then later she cannot build a healthy relationship);
• incest. As terrible as it sounds, it is happening now in families. This problem is not discussed in society, because no one ever talks about it. For girls and women who once faced this, this is a secret sealed with seven seals.

This is not always a sexual act, it may be petting or a situation of threatened sexual intercourse. In some families, the mother realizes this, and the family continues to live with it, pretending that nothing happened.

- Are they drinking fathers, as a rule?

No, these can be socially prosperous families. Ordinary men like that.

The point is that in some societies this is normal. In our culture, this is taboo, sounds like savagery, I agree. It is extremely difficult for women who have once faced incest to build relationships. Only long work with a specialist helps here. And even then: to say that she 100% solves this psychological problem would be slyness. However, it is certainly possible to improve the situation.

If a girl or woman has difficulty getting to know each other and starting a relationship, something is clearly wrong with her. And not in terms of appearance, but in terms of her perception of the world. Let's figure it out.

The main mistake of many is the inconsistency of the surrounding men with the prince that the woman has carefully raised in her head. He must be "like this" and certainly "like this." In other words, these are high expectations. You can live your whole life with them without waiting for your ideal man. It's like having a stencil, trying to apply it to every potential man. And even if he approached, the woman behind him does not see a real man, she only sees a stencil.

It is important for women to understand that reality is different from the fantasies in their heads. I will say more - reality should not correspond to our illusions.

Women expect men to be proactive

You know, in most cases, women want everything to be like in the movies: she was sitting at home, then the doorbell rings, and on the threshold he is the prince. But it doesn't work that way.

The girl said that her friend went to clubs for a long time, and then she was lucky - she met a good man there and married him (emphasis on the word "lucky").

So that's it. This is not luck, but the result of a competent strategy, experience gained in more than one month. Look: she went to clubs - which means that she has some kind of dating experience that allows her to quickly filter out men, without wasting time on those who just came to have fun or find a girl for one night.

If a girl comes to the club who has never really gone anywhere and has no such experience, her chances of finding a wonderful man with whom they will succeed and they will get married are very small. She does not know how to behave, she does not know the public, she will waste time on empty conversations with those who are definitely not going to the club for a serious relationship.

Many women meet in restaurants. Others cannot do it. Because this is also a certain experience that needs to be gained.

I don't believe in pure luck. In any case, in order for a man to catch fire with the idea of ​​meeting a woman or trying to build a relationship with her, she must interest him. There must be some kind of activity. And if she just sits at home and waits for someone to ring her doorbell ... well, she won't. And the sooner a woman realizes this, the better.

This is very similar to a situation where a person comes and says, "I can't find a job." Ask him two questions: “How many companies have you sent your resume to? How many interviews have you been to this week? " And if a person says that he has not been at any interview, then why is he actually surprised that he has no job?

Finding a job is also a job. It's the same in relationships. Just remember the movie "The Most Charming and Attractive": steps and active actions lead to results.

Do not refuse a date

Dating is non-binding. It's just a time to socialize. The more dating experience, the easier it is to recognize people, the easier it is to understand whether you are a good match or not.

Yes, emotions may not always be positive, there may even be disappointments, but this is an experience. And I am for the fact that the more this experience, the better, the more chances of meeting a good man who suits you.

Disappointment in relationships can give rise to the idea of ​​"giving birth to yourself"

People are social creatures, and the need for motherhood for a woman is normal. But sometimes the desire for motherhood can be a means of realizing oneself in society. Look: a woman enters into a relationship, she tries to do something in them, but it does not work out. And so, mistake after mistake, by the age of 30-35, the thought may creep into her head, “should I give birth for myself”. But it seems to me that only women who are desperate and disappointed in relationships can think so.

Often such a story happens in a dependent relationship, when a woman has a long affair with a married man. And one day she says to him: "I love you, I want a child from you, I will not have any claims." And most men are frightened by this: after all, today she speaks like this, but what will happen in reality - no one knows.

Again, it is not uncommon for a married man's mistress to give birth to a child under the pretext of "no claims against you," and then destroys the family, because "their child also has a right to a father."

It still seems to me that such desires of mistresses are not always so much a feeling of love for a man as a hope (maybe not always realized) that he will see their common child and this will tip the scales on her side. He will leave his wife, and they will live a happy family life.

Plus, no one canceled the fact that it will be very difficult for a woman to look after a child in the first years without support. And even a woman who sincerely believed that she would not need the support of the child's biological father can get tired, give in to an impulse and thoughts from the category “Why does he celebrate the New Year with those children, when our child with him also has the right to a father in the New year?".

But married men, as a rule, very rarely consciously agree to such offers. They are driven by the fear of becoming vulnerable.

At one of the seminars on how the early childhood years later influence the psychology of an adult personality, a woman asked: "What can I, as a mother, do for my child in order to minimize his psychological trauma from childhood in the future?" To which I received a wonderful, in my opinion, answer from the speaker: “A woman can do a lot for her child. And the first - three years before his birth to go to psychotherapy. "

If a woman has a problem in building relationships (provided that she wants relationships) and for six months to a year she cannot build them, then the problem is in herself. But the question is different - whether she is aware of this problem, whether she is trying to somehow solve it, whether she goes to specialists to figure it out. And there is no need to rush to extremes, it is better to start working on yourself.

Very often, what should saturate life with itself makes a person disappointed. Of course, we are talking about personal life. This is a basic human need, without which he practically cannot exist. Why doesn't personal life work out? What are the reasons for this and what to do to make everything work out? We will try to answer these questions in this article.

Reasons why personal life may not work out

Each person has his own story and his own destiny, completely different from others. But, one way or another, all the reasons why a person cannot arrange a personal life can be classified:

1. Excessive obsession.
2. Public opinion imposed.
3. Bitter experience.
4. Fear of love.
5. Distrust of the opposite sex.
6. Selfishness.
7. Excessive requirements for a partner.

Try to find your case among these reasons and the answer to the question why personal life does not work out will come almost immediately by itself. Of course, each of the points has its own solution, which should be carefully studied. By identifying the root of the problem, it will be much easier to solve it.

Excessive obsession

Most often this applies to girls. She wants to start a family by all means. For her, this is a kind of fix idea that she thinks about every minute. Each person of the opposite sex is a potential husband for her. But, as luck would have it, after the second or third meeting, the men, as if by magic, disappear from her life. In fact, these are not coincidences. Every person wants to be loved and happy. This takes some time. Love at first sight is so rare that it is better not to dream of it.

The following situation turns out. Men subconsciously feel that what they want from them is marriage and family. For them, this is not a priority desire and, of course, they run headlong from such a lady.

There are other reasons why a guy does not continue a relationship with a lady:

1. She's trying too hard to please him. Men are predators by nature, and they themselves are used to seeking women.
2. Conversations about marriage and children. In most cases, this scares the man. He likes to communicate with girls, to seek her attention, to compliment her. For a man, a certain game is obligatory. If it is not there and there is no intrigue, he leaves.
3. Too sincere and open. It may sound trite, but every woman should have a mystery. If she is not there, the man loses interest.

Of course, you can try to control yourself, be cold and restrained. But if the girl is haunted by the idea of ​​how to get married as soon as possible, the man will definitely feel it.

There is a solution. Stop tormenting yourself with the question of why your personal life is not working out, and looking for a husband or someone else. Learn to live for yourself. Feel this incredible taste of freedom, and then a man will certainly want to catch you in his net.

Public opinion

Quite often, people think about why their personal life does not work out, but at the same time they themselves do not know for sure whether this is really so. How to understand that there are really problems in this area of ​​life? Public opinion on this issue plays an important role. A girl or man over 25 is increasingly asked questions about her personal life. "Why are you still lonely?" These words hurt the heart like a dagger. On the basis of constant questions, a whole baggage of complexes arises, which can be expressed in the following statements:

• something is wrong with me;
• I am too critical of the opposite sex;
• I will always be alone;
• I am unhappy because I am completely alone.

Moreover, others are constantly trying to give advice and guide you on the true path. All this absolutely does not help a person to start a family, but on the contrary causes stiffness, negative emotions, a sense of hopelessness and, as a result, depression.

For this reason, it is worth discarding public opinion. Maybe your personal life does not work out precisely because it is not you who want it, but everyone around you? Listen to your inner voice, to the little child that sits within you. What is he talking about?

Bitter experience

Not every relationship can last forever and people break up. But sometimes the breakup is so painful for them that it is impossible to build new relationships. The human brain creates a certain protection and it shuts itself off from other relationships. At the same time, he understands that personal life does not add up. What to do?

First of all, you need to let go of past relationships and all the emotions associated with them. This could be:

• love;
• hatred;
• jealousy;
• anger;
• despair.

Take a piece of paper and a pen and write down all the emotions you have for your past partner. Now think about why you are experiencing them. You must let go of every emotion. It doesn't do you any good. If you did everything right, the place where all these feelings were should be empty. It is very important to drop hopes, if any. Holding on to them, you will not be able to find new happiness and success.

And of course, you should not immediately start looking for a new partner. It will appear in your life when you are subconsciously fully prepared for it. You should also not look for new relationships in order to forget old ones. This case was initially doomed to failure.

Fear of love

Sometimes two completely different feelings fight in a person. On the one hand, he wants to start a family, but on the other, he is afraid. usually associated with a fear of losing freedom, as well as the fact that the partner will bring pain and frustration. Many people close their hearts to everyone, but at the same time wonder why their personal life does not work out.

A girl's fear can be associated both with her own bitter experience, and with the stories of acquaintances and girlfriends. But most of all men suffer from this problem. They are very afraid of losing their freedom. As soon as the relationship becomes serious, and it would be time to propose, the man flees.

Selfishness interferes with personal life

The fear of losing freedom is nothing more than a manifestation of selfishness. Your inner despotic "I" will always stand in your way. And an affair with yourself will bring nothing but disappointment and fatigue.

If you are afraid of a relationship, then perhaps you are not ready for it yet? Or maybe you just don't love your partner? When people are madly in love with each other, they want to spend their entire lives together. They simply cannot run away from their partner and leave him in the middle of the road.

Distrust of the opposite sex

Of course, both the representatives of the female half of humanity and the male half have reasons to doubt each other. Why doesn't personal life work out? The woman has only insidious and cunning plans, and the men are all polygamous males. Such public opinion cannot but frighten. But on the other hand, how many happy couples are around us. Billions of people are getting married, getting married and happy with their significant other.

Answer yourself to the question, what is the main thing in a relationship? If you think that marriage is even then, perhaps you have never loved. This is a feeling that cannot be replaced by anything. In my head, thoughts are only about a loved one, and my heart squeezes only about one mention of him. It is for this that it is worth experiencing this feeling at least once, even if the first time you get burned.

Partner requirements

Many of those who have problems in their personal lives are real idealists. They want their partner to be perfect and fit all parameters. But does this happen? Does it make sense to write a list of the qualities of an ideal partner? Yes, maybe a few people out of 7.5 billion will meet your requirements, but is there a chance that you will meet them? Often, parents also help to make such a list. Mom is worried why her son does not have a personal life, but at the same time she does not like each of his chosen ones. She sees a lot of flaws in them and immediately informs her beloved son about them. But, perhaps, these will be merits for him?

Of course, it’s good that a person “doesn’t jump on the first bone,” but it’s not right to be too demanding of the opposite sex. Try not to analyze people from head to toe. Let them reveal themselves in the relationship, and then you will see that there can be a lot of advantages behind small flaws.

Little tricks

Personal life will definitely develop if you do not dwell on it. Let the events in your life take their course. Throw aside books on seduction of a partner and horoscopes. You are tormented by the question why Aquarius does not have a personal life? Did you know that the other 11 zodiac signs are experiencing the same problems? The whole reason lies in the way of thinking of the individual. Try to change the way things are going in your life.

Change your breakfast cafe or commute to work. But just do not think about your personal life and the problems in it. Just live and enjoy life. Such people arouse great interest in others and a desire to get to know each other.