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Australian Housekeeping Manual, published in the 60s
June 24, 2005

A respected LJ author, mi3ch, published on the pages of his magazine an amazing, in its rightness and power, document: Australian Housekeeping Guide, published in the 60s. More precisely, that part of it, which is devoted to wives - namely, how a good wife should behave: “The good wife’s guide”. Unfortunately, most of the document is in English, with only a few sentences translated into Russian.

Realizing the importance of this guide to our women, I have translated it in full:

Australian Housekeeping Guide

· When preparing for your husband's arrival, always have dinner ready. To prepare delicious food without delay, plan what you will cook in advance, preferably a day in advance. This is the best way to let your husband know that you thought about him and worried about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home, and good food (especially his favorite food) is a very important part of a welcome.

· Prepare yourself. Relax for about 15 minutes, so you will freshen up for the arrival of your husband. Touch up your makeup, weave a ribbon into your hair, and look fresh and cheerful. Keep in mind that he dealt with a lot of work-weary people all day long.

· Be fun and interesting for your husband. After spending a boring day at work, your husband needs a pleasant evening rest and your task is to provide him with this.

· Clean the house well. Do one more, final home inspection before your husband arrives.

· Fold up school books, toys, newspapers, etc. and then run a cloth on the tables, wiping off the dust.

· During the cold season, you should light a fireplace every evening, near which your husband can relax. Your husband will feel that he is in paradise, where rest and order reign. This will also improve your mood. In the end, working for the comfort of your husband, you also inevitably get satisfaction.

· Prepare children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, dress them smartly. Children are our little treasures, and your husband will surely be pleased to see them. Try to minimize any noise. When your husband arrives, turn off all household appliances: washing machine, dryer, vacuum cleaner. Try to get the kids to be quiet.

· Be glad when your husband comes.

· Greet your husband with a warm smile and show your sincerity in your desire to please him.

· Obey your husband. Perhaps you have accumulated a lot of important things to say to him, but the time when your husband came home from work is not good for this. Let him speak first. Remember: his topics of conversation are always more important than yours!

· Turn the evening into HIS evening. Never complain if he comes home late, or goes to dinner at a restaurant or any other entertainment establishment without you. Instead, just try to understand what a stressful and stressful life he is living, and that he desperately needs rest and relaxation.

· Your goal: Try to do everything so that your home becomes a place where peace and order are found, where your husband can rest both body and soul.

· Do not meet your husband with complaints and problems.

· Do not complain if the husband is late home for dinner, or even spent the night away from home. Consider it a lesser evil compared to what he went through during the working day.

· Do everything to make your husband feel comfortable. Make sure he sits back in a comfortable chair, or lies in bed. Always keep a cool or warm drink ready for him.

· Adjust the pillow for your husband and offer to help him take off his shoes. Speak softly in a soft and pleasant voice.

· Do not question your husband about his actions or question his judgment and honesty. Remember that he is the master of the house and as such he will always do his will with firmness and justice. You have no right to challenge his will.

A GOOD WIFE ALWAYS KNOWS HER PLACE!

And from the same place, from the section "Tips for Men":
“After having an intimate act with your wife, you must let her go to the bathroom, but you don’t need to follow her, let her be alone. She might want to cry. "

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“You must remember that you need to prepare for the arrival of your husband from service every day. Prepare the children, wash them, comb their hair and change into clean, smart clothes. They should line up and greet their father when he walks through the door. For such a case, put on a clean apron yourself and try to decorate yourself - for example, tie a bow in your hair ... "

While reading the newspaper, the husband may wish for a pint of cool beer - be sure to prepare yourself. Three or four varieties (dark, light - find out its tastes in advance) will be enough. Serve light snacks with beer: salted croutons, a handful of hazelnuts or roasted peanuts.

Be sure to follow your horizons, be aware of the political and economic life of the country. Be prepared for the fact that after a short rest, your husband will want to discuss foreign policy news or stock exchange reports with you. Always keep a small dictionary of economic terms close at hand, but never use it in front of your husband: the husband will undoubtedly take great pleasure in explaining to you the meaning of the terms "transaction", "investment risk" and "trend".

Take the time to set the table: starched tablecloths, a small bouquet in a beautiful vase, fresh fruit - these are simple ingredients that will return the appetite to a tired husband. On weekdays, it is not necessary to include a pie in the menu - try offering charlotte and strudel, which are easy to prepare. Perhaps your spouse will like them.

An important part of family life is exercising regularly. Perhaps your husband will protest your daily morning runs - reschedule them to a later time. Remember that firm buttocks, healthy skin and, of course, a smile, a smile, and again a smile are a well-deserved reward for your spouse.

Do not try to do all the homework yourself - your husband will gladly help you on the day off. Feel free to ask him to pitch a nail or hold a chair while you hang the painting.
It is better to inform about the approaching birthday of your mother in advance - a week in advance, in passing. Perhaps her husband wants to congratulate her - pick up an inexpensive postcard that suits the occasion.

Do children play pranks and interfere with the rest of their spouse? Keep them busy. Let the children make something useful: a birdhouse, a weather vane, a dog kennel.
It will be nice if in your free time you master some musical instrument, for example, button accordion, harp or cymbals.

From the first day of your marriage, make it a rule not to move the humidor unnecessarily from its usual place. Keep track of its contents and replenish in a timely manner; do not allow strong smelling substances to be near the humidor: perfumes, spices, etc.

Clean the chimney and chimney regularly to prevent fires - at least once a month. Use the time when your husband and children are at Luna Park or McDonald's for this.

Try to give your face a meaningful expression in front of the camera lens. Do not be intimidated by the flash: this is a special device with which the photographer compensates for the lack of light in the room. (By the way, remember: how long have you washed the windows? Dirty windows significantly limit the light flux and violate the hygiene of the room.)

It should be remembered that prolonged telephone conversations are harmful to the ear. Make sure that the call to your beloved friend does not take more than 4 minutes. At first, an alarm clock will come to your aid.

Treat the choice of furniture for the kitchen with full responsibility: no ottomans, rocking chairs, etc. The kitchen is not a place to relax!

Perhaps your husband will agree that you need an air conditioner to work in the kitchen - thank him in some special way. If spending seems unreasonable to him, do not rush to get upset: return to this conversation in a year.

Before the guests arrive, mark the silverware with a special pencil. Tureens and pans usually do not require this.

When choosing a safe for storing your jewelry, be sure to consult with your husband.

When choosing decorations, imagine a Christmas tree. Have you presented? So, luxurious chains suitable for holding a six-month-old bull, golden balls of earrings, bracelets that hide an arm up to the elbow - down with it! A modest ring with a small (0.5-0.9 carat) diamond will favorably emphasize your taste.

Finally, it should be noted that the above animals are not very suitable for home keeping, despite their quiet disposition, relatively small size and ease of care. Don't insist on buying a kangaroo either.

Create a general notebook in which you will write out recipes for various foods. In such a notebook it will also be appropriate from time to time to place various sayings of great people, proverbs, tongue twisters, as well as beautiful flowers neatly cut out of unnecessary postcards.

Only pronounce the words "my mother" in conjunction with her name. For example: "My mother, (intonation) Avgustina Fedorovna (end of selection), next year will not be able to stay with us either." This simple mnemonic technique will help your spouse remember the names of at least some of your relatives.

Chapter 18. HE CALLED YOU BY ANOTHER FEMALE NAME. IS THERE ANY REASON FOR PANIC?
[missing text: pages 95-97 torn from the original edition] "

Perhaps now, when you are reading these lines, there is a person behind you who has not grasped the essence of our manual, and says:
- This makes no sense.
Be condescending. Offer this book to the doubter.

There is such a woman's wisdom: "A man rarely goes nowhere, usually he goes to another woman." Remember these golden words whenever it seems to you that all your efforts are in vain. Will the other be able to provide the level of comfort and understanding that you give to your beloved? Now that you have read this book, you can be calm and confident in the future.
Do not relax: married life is a daily exam in which you are not the examiner. Reread our small guide and you will easily cope with any tests of your love.

Let the sky above your house be cloudless!
Respectfully yours, authors.

One of the most common mistakes when reading books is in the direction of reading: fiction is usually built according to traditional canons (beginning - culmination - denouement). Such a construction allows the reader to understand the author's thought more deeply and subtly. You should get acquainted with a fiction book sequentially, starting from the first page (the flyleaf often also contains useful food for the mind). Please note that this rule is categorically inappropriate for books with culinary recipes: the husband will not wait until you master the pages with salads and move on to meat dishes.

Be sure to follow the scale of the device. Keep in mind that slippers that are too hot or unevenly heated may not please your husband.

Remember that in the service, the husband meets a huge number of chic and charming women. Don't try to beat them - make a pie.

It is unwise to keep your jewelry in your husband's safe: most likely he will be against it. Use a jar of buckwheat: it is inexpensive and always at hand.

Please note that the company your husband has a relationship with may have some concerns about secret business correspondence. Do not rush to get upset when you notice a note on pink paper with a distinct smell of fashionable eau de toilette in your coat pocket. Encrypted correspondence in a special female handwriting, many secret symbols and signs, frivolous kisses and hearts - this method is often used to mislead competitors about the company's plans, preventing leakage of confidential information.

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Smoked brisket goes well with fitness crispbread. Both the benefits and the crunch are worth what you need, and the taste is excellent, and the number of calories is optimal. But - no soy sauce. In general, sauces are not very suitable for lard. Mayonnaise. Only mayonnaise, and nothing better has been invented in all centuries.

"You must remember that you need to prepare for the arrival of your husband from the service every day. Prepare the children, wash them, comb and change them into clean, smart clothes. They must line up and greet the father when he comes through the door. For such an occasion, put on a clean one yourself. apron and try to decorate yourself - for example, tie a bow in your hair.Don't enter into conversations with your husband, remember how tired he is and what he has to go to every day in the service, for your sake - feed him silently and only after he reads newspaper, you can try to talk to him.

And from the same place from the "Tips for Men" part:

"After having an intimate act with your wife, you should let her go to the bathroom, but you don't need to follow her, let her be alone. She might want to cry."

An early 1960s English sex education textbook for girls teaches the following things: “When you go to bed with your husband, you must look genuinely mesmerizing. , since before going to bed these things can shock him. If it comes to intimate relations with your husband, remember your marriage vows, and in particular the vow to obey him in everything. If he needs to fall asleep right away, so be it! In everything, follow the wishes of your husband , do not put any pressure on him in order to enter into an intimate relationship. If your husband expresses a desire, humbly agree and during the action remember that a man's satisfaction is more important than a woman's. When he reaches satisfaction, a quiet approving groan should erupt from your lips, which quite enough for him to know about the pleasure that you received.If your husband offers to do something unusual in bed, be submissive and do not degenerate your displeasure state ". It is curious to note that the author of the textbook is a woman.

“You must remember that you need to prepare for the arrival of your husband from service every day. Prepare the children, wash them, comb their hair and change into clean, smart clothes. They should line up and greet their father when he walks through the door. For such a case, put on a clean apron yourself and try to decorate yourself - for example, tie a bow in your hair ... Do not enter into conversations with your husband, remember how tired he is, and what he has to do every day in the service, for your sake - silently feed him, and only after he reads the newspaper, you can try to talk to him "

“Be sure to follow your horizons, be aware of the political and economic life of the country. Be prepared for the fact that after a short rest, your husband will want to discuss foreign policy news or stock exchange reports with you. Always keep at hand a small dictionary of economic terms, but never use it with your husband: the husband will undoubtedly take great pleasure in explaining the meaning of the terms to you himself. "
Do not try to do all the homework yourself - your husband will gladly help you on the day off. Feel free to ask him to pitch a nail or hold a chair while you hang the painting.

It is better to inform about the approaching birthday of your mother in advance - a week in advance, in passing. Perhaps her husband wants to congratulate her - pick up an inexpensive postcard that suits the occasion.

Do children play pranks and interfere with the rest of their spouse? Keep them busy. Let the children make something useful: a birdhouse, a weather vane, a dog kennel.

It will be nice if in your free time you master some musical instrument, for example, button accordion, harp or cymbals.

From the “Tips for Men” part: “After having an intimate act with your wife, you must let her go to the bathroom, but you don’t need to follow her, let her be alone. She might want to cry. "


Do not relax: married life is a daily exam in which you are not the examiner. Reread our small guide and you will easily cope with any tests of your love.
Clean the chimney and chimney regularly to prevent fires - at least once a month. Use the time when your husband and children are at Luna Park or McDonald's for this.

Try to give your face a meaningful expression in front of the camera lens. Do not be intimidated by the flash: this is a special device with which the photographer compensates for the lack of light in the room. (By the way, remember: how long have you washed the windows? Dirty windows significantly limit the light flux and violate the hygiene of the room.)

It should be remembered that prolonged telephone conversations are harmful to the ear. Make sure that the call to your beloved friend does not take more than 4 minutes. At first, an alarm clock will come to your aid.

Treat the choice of furniture for the kitchen with full responsibility: no ottomans, rocking chairs, etc. The kitchen is not a place to relax!

Perhaps your husband will agree that you need an air conditioner to work in the kitchen - thank him in some special way. If spending seems unreasonable to him, do not rush to get upset: return to this conversation in a year.

Before the guests arrive, mark the silverware with a special pencil. Tureens and pans usually do not require this.

When choosing a safe for storing your jewelry, be sure to consult with your husband.

When choosing decorations, imagine a Christmas tree. Have you presented? So, luxurious chains suitable for holding a six-month-old bull, golden balls of earrings, bracelets that hide an arm up to the elbow - down with it! A modest ring with a small (0.5-0.9 carat) diamond will favorably emphasize your taste.

Finally, it should be noted that the above animals are not very suitable for home keeping, despite their quiet disposition, relatively small size and ease of care. Don't insist on buying a kangaroo either.

Create a general notebook in which you will write out recipes for various foods. In such a notebook it will also be appropriate from time to time to place various sayings of great people, proverbs, tongue twisters, as well as beautiful flowers neatly cut out of unnecessary postcards.

Only pronounce the words "my mother" in conjunction with her name. For example: "My mother, (intonation) Avgustina Fedorovna (end of selection), next year will not be able to stay with us either." This simple mnemonic technique will help your spouse remember the names of at least some of your relatives.

Chapter 18. HE CALLED YOU BY ANOTHER FEMALE NAME. IS THERE ANY REASON FOR PANIC?
[missing text: pages 95-97 torn from the original edition] "

Perhaps now, when you are reading these lines, there is a person behind you who has not grasped the essence of our manual, and says:
- This makes no sense.
Be condescending. Offer this book to the doubter.

There is such a woman's wisdom: "A man rarely goes nowhere, usually he goes to another woman." Remember these golden words whenever it seems to you that all your efforts are in vain. Will the other be able to provide the level of comfort and understanding that you give to your beloved? Now that you have read this book, you can be calm and confident in the future.
Do not relax: married life is a daily exam in which you are not the examiner. Reread our small guide and you will easily cope with any tests of your love.



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