How babies change after birth. How will your life change after having a baby?

When planning a pregnancy, or suddenly learning about it, you should immediately understand that your future life will change one way or another. The sooner you accept this fact, the sooner you can better prepare yourself for your new role.

It seems that being a mother has only continuous advantages: a new loved one is with you, there is no need to go to work, and so on. But there are also disadvantages in the form of sleepless nights, hormonal imbalances, and excess weight. It turns out that everything is not so simple! Let's figure out whether there is life after the birth of your first child?

Expectant mothers are entitled to leave in connection with childbirth and further child care. We are not considering legislative deadlines now, but will simply tell the clear state of affairs that a woman who has given birth to a child must rest and return to normal within a certain period. If you are employed, then there should be only joy (of course, if you are not a workaholic).

If you have your own business, then you shouldn’t rush straight from the maternity hospital to solve deadlines. Take a time out for a while or delegate what you can to a trusted person, but leave the key decisions for yourself. In the first months, your attention will be occupied by the chores and responsibilities of caring for your baby. This will be a 24/7 job that will require maximum immersion from you. However, you should also find time for yourself.

In particular, take maternity leave as a chance for a kind of reassessment of life: “Am I doing what I wanted?” This is a good time to try something new. Most girls begin to engage in areas that they have always wanted to try, creativity and their appearance, bringing them to forms that they could not dream of even before pregnancy. It is unreasonable to think that you will plunge headlong into motherhood and give up your life. For example, you want to make a toy for your little one with your own hands and it will turn out so well that in the future it will turn into a family business.

And also try to read not only literature related to the baby, but also that which will allow you to broaden your horizons. For example, you have long wanted to read about the latest innovations in makeup and clothing, or how to do something with your own hands, or maybe you are interested in history - and there was sorely not enough time for this before. Now there is a little more of it.

Maternity leave is not only a break from work, but also a search for new ideas and opportunities. This is some kind of reboot of your consciousness.

Changes in the body

It’s unreasonable to hope that there won’t be any of them, but to make sure that there are a minimum of them or that they go away altogether is quite possible. It is better to worry about this in advance at the stage of pregnancy:

• First, eat healthy food.
• Secondly, try not to overeat.
• Thirdly, engage in physical exercises that are allowed during this period and specifically in your condition. If the observing doctor asked you to refrain from exercise, then simply walking in the fresh air will never harm you.

The same principles should be followed after childbirth.

If stretch marks appear during pregnancy, which most women cannot avoid, then you can try using special gels and creams to get rid of scars. Just be sure to consult your doctor, especially if your newborn is breastfed. If during pregnancy you acted as you should, then there should be a minimum of stretch marks.

The breast is given the function of feeding, so during pregnancy it increases in size, preparing for future filling with milk. The feeding process itself also stretches the bust. To feed or not to feed is a purely individual decision. If there are no medical contraindications, then doctors recommend natural feeding, since in mother’s milk the newborn receives the necessary substances for health, as well as immunity. Plus, the process of breastfeeding itself psychologically tells the child that he is safe next to his mother. If you suddenly decide to immediately transfer your baby to artificial feeding, then remember that a high-quality one will cost you a lot, although it will retain the shape of the bust.

In addition to the breasts, changes will also occur in the abdomen, or rather even in the abdomen in the first place, due to the presence of the baby inside. If you do the exercises, it will return to normal after some time. Of course, difficulties may arise with muscles and so on, but most often these are individual characteristics. It will also help speed up the process. If stretch marks appear, they can be dealt with using special means, which we discussed earlier.

Over many months, cellulite may appear on the thighs, as the body has accumulated as much substance as possible for further childbirth. But this is the lesser of all evils that can arise with appearance. Proper nutrition, exercise and massage will help get rid of it.

If the body has changed, there is no point in falling into hysterics and eating away at problems. You need to train if there are no contraindications.

There is a case - we go to the gym, no - we do exercises at home. If you look for excuses, you will have little success in correcting anything, and the once beautiful forms will only blur. We need to break this vicious circle. This will become a new life after the birth of the child.

Having a child is a good reason to lead a healthy lifestyle. For example, exclude alcohol, tobacco and other harmful products. Not only can they harm a newborn through milk, but in the future the baby will adopt the habits of its parents. You probably don’t want him to become a passive smoker, do you? A parent's example is the main thing a child needs in upbringing.

Psychological condition

Postpartum depression occurs quite often. Mostly it occurs against the background of hormonal changes, but more often it is the psyche trying to fit into a new state of affairs, because now you are a mother and you have a different level of responsibility. There is a fear of not being able to cope with them, of harming the newborn. This happens against the backdrop of a less than ideal appearance, and here the husband has cooled down a little, as it seems to us. But in fact, he himself is shocked that he became a dad. We can fix all this!

First, remember that a calm mother means a calm child. The baby feels all your emotional changes very well. For your baby, you are the whole world, and only with you is he safe. With some attention, your appearance will return after a while, you just need to make an effort. And husband? He loves you very much, but feels abandoned with the birth of his child. Show your spouse care and attention as before, help him get used to the new status. He will be happy to help you with household chores. Assess the situation wisely, and remember, no one but you can change it.

New mothers remain wonderful women who find it useful to go out from time to time, dress nicely and put on makeup, and relieve themselves of worries for at least a couple of hours. This will correct your serious condition, because you will feel irresistible again.

If you yourself cannot get out of this severe state of depression, seek the services of professional psychologists.

Help after childbirth

You and your husband have been waiting together for the moment the baby appears, and now he is finally with you, but your husband is afraid to even breathe on him, let alone pick him up. The maternal instinct wakes up before the paternal one. Not only have you been with your new family member from the moment he was conceived, but the hormones that are released help you bond with the new being. A man needs time. Consciously, he understands that this is his child, but there is no emotional connection yet. In order for it to appear, it is necessary to create a special atmosphere of interaction between them.

For example, first arrange for your newborn to bathe together. At first you will be present at this event, and then over time you will increasingly leave them alone. This is dad, he won’t do anything bad to his little blood. The same method can be used when walking.

Remember, the more often the father interacts with the child without you, the faster he will get used to the new role.

In certain cases, if you have the opportunity to ask the baby’s grandmothers for help, then you should use it to free up time for yourself or a couple of hours of sleep.

Sex

It’s good if you and your spouse were preparing for the changes in life associated with the arrival of a baby: you attended courses and trainings, listened to doctors’ advice, and thought through the future. This happens, but not always. And sometimes it’s like out of the blue. Not every man is ready and understands how life changes after the birth of a child. He may feel not only unnecessary to his wife during pregnancy, but especially after childbirth, when the wife pays all her attention only to the newborn. The main thing here is to find a balance that will require maximum strength from a woman if she...

The most difficult time for a family is the first couple of months. It is at this point that the crisis arises. The wife plays an important role in the relationship; she not only needs to care for the baby, but also remember that she has a beloved man who also needs attention.

“Is there an intimate life after the birth of a child? “This is a question many couples ask. Sexual life should be maintained throughout pregnancy, unless doctors prohibit it. There are special safe positions, and most often no one prohibits oral sex. Be sure to consult your obstetrician-gynecologist about this. After giving birth, it will take some time for the uterus to return to normal and for the lochia to come out. But even at this time, you may well find options with your spouse to please a friend of a friend sexually. As soon as the gynecologist gives the green light, you can make love as usual. This usually happens 1.5-2 months after birth.

The important issue remains that desire may not immediately come to you due to fatigue and hormonal changes that many women suffer after the birth of their first child. It's hard to feel like a sex bomb again, but it's quite possible. After all,

The most important thing is to accept yourself at this moment with all the flaws. You have passed a difficult test and should be proud of yourself.

Moreover, you now have a plan to get yourself physically in order. It’s good if your husband also gets involved in the process, telling you that you are beautiful and desirable.

The most difficult thing is to get pleasure. This is due to the fact that during pregnancy and childbirth, the vaginal muscles weaken. But there is a way out! It is enough to perform gymnastics, or rather Kegel exercises, to contract the internal muscles of the vagina. After a fairly short time they will restore tone.

If you didn’t have an orgasm before giving birth, many sources claim that after that everything can change. After childbirth, the hormone oxytocin is produced, also known as the “happiness hormone.” It awakens the maternal instinct and increases sensations during sex, removes blocks, which is why orgasm is achieved faster and becomes brighter.

Relationships with friends

Were you very social: meeting with colleagues, going shopping and discussing girlfriends' ex-boyfriends? Now you are a mother who devotes all her time to her family. For your psychological stability and getting rid of postpartum depression, you should balance between old friends and a new state of affairs. Maternity leave does not last forever and after a certain period of time you will want to return to your old life, work and friends.

When meeting with friends, especially if they do not have children yet, you should not immediately start talking about your child. It’s better to talk on neutral topics, and only then, if a direct question is asked, begin the conversation. Many childless people are not yet ready for such intense emotions associated with babies.

If suddenly old friends suddenly began to turn into just acquaintances with the appearance of a baby in your life, then do not be afraid of being alone. You'll quickly find new moms like you who will be happy to discuss the hardships and joys of having children and how your life has changed since giving birth.

Multitasking

How has your life changed after the birth of your baby? You just became a superheroine! You are preparing dinner, rocking the stroller or crib, and at the same time you still have time to correspond with your friend on a social network. This is the reality of the average parent who does not have nannies and grandmothers on hand.

But the new mother has other assistants that allow her to save a lot of time, which she can spend on herself:

• washing machine,
• multicooker,
• motion sickness centers,
• home delivery of products,
• things made of wrinkle-resistant fabric.

If you have the financial opportunity to hire an assistant who will solve the problem of cleaning the house or doing laundry, then feel free to take it. If not, then there are books, applications, groups on social networks where you can find many options on how to get everything done in a day as much as possible, even if you have a baby. Many mothers even start working from six months at home or outside of it.

conclusions

The most important thing you gain is the happiness of being a mother, which cannot be experienced in any other way. The baby will open up new facets and possibilities in you that were previously dormant. You will make new friends and expand your worldview, you will become calmer about many things.

How life will change after the birth of your baby depends only on you. Nature has done its part, but in most cases the decision is up to you!

The joy associated with the arrival of a new person in the family goes hand in hand with difficulties from the very beginning. At first glance, they are small and insignificant, but sometimes they develop into a big problem that can baffle even a strong and serious man.

The birth of a child is the happiest event in the life of a young family. But, alas, it is after the birth of their first child that many families enter a period of severe crisis caused by the fact that the husband and wife, who have become parents, find themselves completely unprepared for the new realities of life.

Everyone knows about the problems that await a young mother in the first months after the birth of a child. Postpartum depression, physical fatigue, lack of sleep - any specialist has a whole list of recommendations ready to overcome these difficulties.

What about new young fathers?

It’s somehow not even customary to remember them in this context: what difficulties could a happy dad have? She didn’t carry, didn’t give birth, doesn’t breastfeed - it would seem, live and be happy! Meanwhile, psychologists believe that a man who has become a father for the first time is also susceptible to psychological crises.

According to one study, more than 60 percent of new fathers experienced an emotional decline associated with the birth of a child. Depression during this period, which should be one of the happiest in a man’s life, is associated with a number of factors. It will not hurt, first of all, for the man himself to understand them - only then will he be able to cope with the negative emotions that prevent him from fully enjoying the happiness of fatherhood.

But a young mother needs this no less - in order to understand why her husband, having become a father, sometimes behaves as if he is not at all happy about it - withdraws into himself, withdraws from caring for the child, gets irritated, or even really suffers. And understanding a loved one means taking a step forward, which will only benefit peace and harmony in the family.

Of course, the father was really looking forward to the birth of this child, he bought the best crib and the most comfortable stroller for him in advance, together with his wife he came up with a name for his first-born, told his friends how happy he was that he would soon become a father, dreamed about how he would be teach your son to play football or take your daughter to the zoo and music school. And now, when the tiny lump is sleeping peacefully in his crib, he is truly happy. But... Everything turned out to be completely different from what was pictured in my dreams.

The child is very small, he only cries and sleeps, you can’t even play with him. My wife has changed a lot. She is nearby, but at the same time it is as if she is always in another place. She says something, does something, and all the time she listens to see if the child is crying.

And the young father, who until recently felt like the center and meaning of the life of the woman he loved, feels like a third wheel in the new family situation.

Psychologists identify several main reasons why a young father feels emotional discomfort in the first months after the birth of a child.

Exaggerated sense of duty and responsibility

Age and social status most often do not play a role - both yesterday’s student and an accomplished adult man, standing firmly on his feet, holding his child in his arms for the first time in his life, experiences a complete change in his worldview. He is overwhelmed with feelings of pride, joy, love and... fear. Well, if not fear, then certainly anxiety. Now, having become a dad, a man is responsible for the life and health of a small defenseless creature. What if he fails to cope and accidentally harms the baby? What if he does something wrong?

Moreover, it is rare to find a father who does not worry about finances. Now he needs to take care of the material well-being of one more person and make plans for another future. This stress is further aggravated if two people worked in the family before the birth of the child, and with the birth of the baby, one of the workers “went out of commission.”

Jealousy of a child: I'm now the third wheel

It is probably not an exaggeration to say that in the period after the wedding and before the birth of the baby, it was the husband who was her favorite child for the woman: the wife gave all her attention, love, care to him alone, she devoted every minute of her free time to him alone.

Many men (if not all) by nature are a little selfish, and, of course, almost every young father has a hard time getting used to the fact that, after becoming a mother, his wife begins to divide her attention between him and someone else, even if this someone is then - a beloved long-awaited child. Moreover, the child now receives much more attention, and the young mother often has no time at all to communicate with her husband. Is it any wonder that young fathers experience this new arrangement of family relationships quite painfully at first?

Termination of marital relations

Often, men are unprepared for the fact that after their wife returns from the maternity hospital, sexual relations are contraindicated for a woman for a certain time.

Needless to say, it’s not easy to come to terms with the fact that now the wife needs a couple of months for complete physical recovery and the same amount for moral recovery, and then for some time she simply won’t have time for her husband - with all these diapers, bottles, getting up at night to the baby and other concerns.

Of course, such a long abstinence can seriously ruin a man’s mood, and besides this, he is also worried that his former romantic relationship with his beloved is completely a thing of the past.

Changing family relationships

It also happens that a husband, accustomed to being a support for his wife, is initially discouraged after the birth of a child by the fact that she herself has now become a support for another family member, and seems to no longer really need his support. This is not uplifting either, and until the new father gets used to the changed dynamics of his family, he may feel very uncomfortable.

Lifestyle change

Even if a man is a natural homebody and has always not liked getting out of the house, he may be very worried that with the birth of a child this opportunity seems to have disappeared completely. At least for a while, even going to football or having dinner with friends became impossible, and staying at home every night was another reason for the young father’s despondency.

I need to sleep!

There is nothing to say about how the nightly crying of a child can exhaust a father who has to get up early in the morning for work. It’s good if a man sleeps soundly, but if he wakes up every time the baby loudly cries that he has a tummy ache or that he’s just hungry...

Or if his wife, tired of endlessly jumping up at night, sometimes wakes him up asking for help: to look after the baby while she warms up a bottle in the kitchen, or to rock the child? Physical fatigue cannot but affect the father’s emotional state and, sometimes, degenerates into real depression.

All these factors taken together or some of them separately sometimes cause such strong emotional depression of the young father that, instead of joining a new life full of new worries and joys, he experiences disappointment and complains about the lack of understanding on the part of his wife and tries to spend as little time at home as possible.

And in response, naturally, he receives constant irritation from his other half, reproaches, tears, emotional breakdowns and scandals. Dissatisfaction with each other is growing, there is no end in sight to nagging and accusations, and tired indifference is gradually replacing love and affection.

But, knowing the probable causes of his depressed state, the young father may well be able to avoid it, or at least control its manifestations.

The main thing is to remember that newborn baby- this is a great happiness, and it is forever, and the difficulties of the first months of his life will pass and be forgotten very quickly. We just need to prevent them from destroying the family and not leaving the race at the very beginning of the journey.

Gradually, everything in life will fall into place - the child will begin to sleep soundly all night until the morning, the relationship with his wife will remain bright and rich, meetings with friends, football, and travel around the world will return. And, of course, the status of the head of the family, its support and protection, will be further strengthened and filled with new meaning.

Only he himself, the husband who became the father, will never be the same. Because with the first cry of a child who came into the world, from an ordinary man he has already turned into the strongest, most necessary, best person on Earth, about whom a defenseless little lump crying at night, after a very short time, will say with pride and love: “This is my dad!".

Today I am a happy wife and mother. I know what I want for my daughter, but I will always be afraid of doing something wrong. I always have to choose between “I want” and “right”. And I will always, always worry about her.

I will have to go through all the mistakes I made again, step on all the mistakes again and shed all the tears. Only this time I can't help. And it will be much, much more painful. It’s one thing when you yourself are responsible for your life, but quite another when your task is to allow one little girl to become happy without interfering or breaking her destiny.

After childbirth, a woman changes. And it’s not a hormonal imbalance that everyone is talking about (although yes, in the first month I was, to put it mildly, unbalanced). Relationships in the family are changing. A woman plunges headlong into her motherhood and enjoys the love of her child, forgetting about the rest and others? Of course not. She, of course, enjoys it, but, above all, she herself changes. And a man cannot perceive her as before. Having given birth to a child, a woman for some time becomes a lioness who will protect her offspring to the last drop of blood. It is stronger than it, it is inherent in nature somewhere deep inside. Therefore, the fragile, defenseless princess, whose man once put a ring on her ring finger, suddenly becomes independent and self-sufficient. And yes, she can do everything herself. No, you don't have to help her. She, of course, was tired, but it’s easier to calm the child down herself than to listen to her daughter cry in the arms of her dad, who for some reason doesn’t smell like milk. It’s not his fault, he’s trying, but mom will always be mom. And sometimes I feel terribly sorry for dad - men are not meant for such activities. And even the best man in the world, rocking a baby after a day of work, noticeably changes his complexion towards a soft green.

Speaking of crying. We really can't listen to them cry. The heart is torn into pieces and the world is turned upside down. Yes, you have to give up everything and regret it. Yes, right away. Yes, I know that you can’t teach a child to use “hands.” But she is still too small to experiment on. And if she needs me, if she calls me, I should be there. And I'll be there for as long as I can.

A woman changes in appearance. And it’s not just about the kilograms you’ve gained, some of which are easy to get rid of, but the second part is almost impossible to get rid of quickly (no food, no milk). The form changes, the look changes, tastes change. Life is literally divided into “before” and “after”.

Now everything revolves around one little girl. Nerves? Stress? It is forbidden. If the mother gets nervous, the child will never calm down. Impossible? Now it's easy. There's no point in just being nervous. Now I understand it. The child still won’t understand. This phrase used to drive me crazy.

Having given birth, you realize that everything that was so important before is actually complete nonsense. For some reason, all career ambitions go to hell. All your work is just a means of subsistence, not a way of life. Yes, and now you can't have plans. None. Only approximate intentions. And my daughter cannot distract me from my work. She is the most important thing.

You understand that creativity is an opportunity to create beauty for her. That things are just things that you can buy, break, throw away (or better yet, make them yourself). That people around you are being tested by the time they are willing to spend on you. That your appearance, after all, is such a small thing compared to the fact that now there is a little bundle of happiness snoring sweetly in your arms.

When you are pregnant with your first child at a well-conscious age, you simply cannot stop the flow of thoughts. They come and pass. Good and bad life scenarios... You constantly automatically think - how will my life change after the birth of a child? Can I be a good mother? Will I be able to find time for myself... Will I be able to make my child happy? And others, others, others...

The cycle of thoughts... It goes on in the background, without interfering with your work, communication with family and friends, creativity and home. Everything seems to be the same as always. The belly is not yet so noticeable, only someone inside periodically kicks. Toxicosis has passed. The head is bright, there is vital energy.

But now you are not the same as before. And these thoughts, once visiting you, never let go...

And these fears... And this unknown of a new life, the incomprehensibility of the new role of a mother... A huge responsibility...

Previously, you were only responsible for yourself... well, maybe a little for your pets. Of course, you have friends and family, but they are all independent adults. Now a whole living person will depend on you. Only from you...

I recently read this wonderful text from one blogger:

Someday I will have a son, and I will do the opposite. From the age of three I will repeat to him: “Darling! You don't have to become an engineer. You don't have to be a lawyer. It doesn't matter what you become when you grow up. Do you want to be a pathologist? To your health. Football commentator? Please. A clown at the mall? Great choice",

And on his thirtieth birthday he will come to me, this sweaty, balding clown with smudges of makeup on his face and say: “Mom! I am thirty years old! I'm the clown at the mall! Is this the life you wanted for me? What were you thinking, mom, when you told me that higher education is not necessary? What did you want, mom, when you allowed me to play with the boys instead of math?”

And I will say: “Darling, but I followed you in everything, I was the alpha mother! You didn’t like math, you liked playing with the younger kids.” And he will say: “I didn’t know where this would lead, I was a child, I couldn’t decide anything, and you, you, you ruined my life,” and rubbed his lipstick across his face with his dirty sleeve. And then I will stand up, look at him carefully and say: “So it’s like this. There are two types of people in the world: some live, and others are looking for someone to blame. And if you don’t understand this, then you’re an idiot.”

***
Or not. Someday I will have a son, and I will do the opposite. I will tell him from the age of three: “Don’t be an idiot, Vladik, think about the future. Learn math, Vladik, if you don’t want to be a call center operator all your life. Humanitarian, what? In our time, such people were called fools.”
And on his thirtieth birthday he will come to me, this sweaty, balding programmer with deep wrinkles on his face and say: “Mom! I am thirty years old. I work at Google. I work twenty hours a day, Mom. I don't have a family. What were you thinking, mom, when you said that a good job would make me happy? What were you trying to achieve, mom, when she forced me to learn math?”

And I will say: “Darling, but I wanted you to get a good education! I wanted you to have every opportunity, darling.” And he will say: “Why the hell do I need these opportunities if I’m unhappy, mom? I walk past clowns at the mall and I envy them, Mom. They are happy. I could have been in their place, but you, you, you ruined my life,” and rubs the bridge of his nose under his glasses with his fingers. And then I will stand up, look at him carefully and say: “So it’s like this. There are two types of people in the world: those who live, and those who complain all the time. And if you don’t understand that, then you’re an idiot.”

He will say "oh" and faint. Psychotherapy will take approximately five years.

***
Or differently. Someday I will have a son, and I will do the opposite. I will tell him from the age of three: “I’m not here to tell him anything. I'm here to love you. Go to dad, dear, ask him, I don’t want to be extreme again.”

And on his thirtieth birthday he will come to me, this sweaty, balding director with Central Russian melancholy in his eyes and say: “Mom! I am thirty years old. I've been trying to get your attention for thirty years now, Mom. I dedicated ten films and five performances to you. I wrote a book about you, mom. I don't think you care. Why have you never voiced your opinion? Why did you always send me to dad?”

And I will say: “Dear, but I didn’t want to decide anything for you! I just loved you, dear, and we have dad for advice.” And he will say: “Why the hell do I need daddy’s advice if I asked you, mom? I've been seeking your attention all my life, mom. I'm obsessed with you, mom. I am ready to give everything just to understand at least once, just once, what you think about me. With your silence, with your detachment, you, you, you ruined my life,” and theatrically throws his hand to his forehead. And then I will stand up, look at him carefully and say: “So it’s like this. There are two types of people in the world: some live, and others are always waiting for something. And if you don’t understand this, then you’re an idiot.”

He will say "ah" and faint. Psychotherapy will take approximately five years.

Conclusion: No matter what you do, you will still make mistakes. And you will still fall, break your forehead, you will still not become an ideal mother, because there is no such thing as ideal...

And that's normal, that's even good. But thoughts, where to go from thoughts... And from the desire to do everything as best and correctly as possible...

And now the question: Tell me, experienced mothers, is the devil as scary as he is painted in my head? How has your life changed after having a child? What came into it and what went away? And what mistakes of yours would you like to correct?

How does life change after the birth of a child? Once upon a time, as a young and naive student, I believed that maternity leave is a time of degradation, a woman turns into an appendage to a child, is limited in development and cannot support a conversation on a topic other than diapers and complementary foods. How wrong I was))

15 discoveries and lessons from my motherhood

1. I discovered a new world that I hadn’t noticed before. It turns out that the streets are full of children: babies sleeping soundly in strollers, preschoolers cheerfully walking with their mother by the hand, and teenagers waving their backpacks. It turns out that IKEA has a whole department of children's clothes. It turns out that not all shops and institutions allow you to enter with a stroller.
2. I became treat parents and children with understanding: I will skip the queue for a mother with a baby both at the clinic and in the queue at the store, if necessary, I will help with the stroller, I will sympathize with a crying baby on the plane, but before I rolled my eyes and thought: “Is it really impossible to calm down so as not to interfere?” everyone?"
3. I realized that I I can't control everything that plans do not always go as planned. This was the most difficult thing for me - I prefer to plan everything and am sensitive to deviations. But the child does not know that we need to see a doctor, or go on a visit, or get up early for a plane tomorrow; he lives, focusing on his current needs. So what if the baby always slept at lunchtime, and I hoped to rest at this time; today my son intends to frolic for another hour or two. At such moments, you just need to stop dreaming of a cup of tea with a book, and go and play with your baby. He has the right to live according to his own schedule, sleep and eat when he wants it, and not when mom needs it. If you repeat it often enough, you will believe it too :)
4. I looked it up and softened her maximalist judgments about the world. I used to think that I knew everything in the world, how to live correctly, etc. - typical behavior of a young and self-confident girl. I rethought many views on upbringing and care as a child grows up, as well as on relationships between people in general. I used to think that children should never sleep in the same bed as their parents. After several sleepless nights, I decided that let the baby sleep as he wanted and where he wanted, only the parents could sleep too. I realized that every child is different, and what works for one child may not necessarily work for another. Some people sit quietly in a car seat, while others need to be constantly distracted so that the baby does not cry. Some people happily take the pacifier and play with it, while others spit it out. Some sleep well on their back, while others need to be turned onto their tummy. There is no universal advice, there is no black and white, you need to try and find what suits your baby specifically.
5. I have improved significantly time management skills. Life itself forces you to set priorities correctly, learn to do several things at the same time or together with your child, optimize your usual routine household chores, and develop your own system of “getting ahead.” Because if you are not only a mother, but also a working mother, you cannot survive without clear planning.
6. I set priorities and now I clearly understand my values, my principles of decision-making. The birth of a child not only gives time to think about such “life-meaning” topics, but also an impetus for changing the usual paradigm of thinking. Maternity leave is the time to figure out what I really want?
7. I have studied a huge amount of literature and publications on the topic of child development, caring for them, health and treatment, education. I take care of my baby myself, so I needed such knowledge. I can easily tell you what the pros and cons of different early development methods are, identify key points in speech development, advise on teaching swimming and diving to babies, play finger games, offer several different activities for the development of fine motor skills, sketch out a plan for a thematic week, etc. P.
8. I learned many children's poems and songs. Great memory booster! It is unlikely that in my conscious life there has been a period of such intensive mastery of poetry, folklore, and songs. I know by heart “Moidodyra”, “My phone rang”, half of “Aibolit”, “What is good and what is bad” and many, many more poems that my child willingly listens to. He also loves when I sing him songs or lullabies.
9. I started singing. Aloud! Because I have a grateful listener. Even on the street I can quietly hum a song to him while we walk somewhere together. And it’s even better when we sing together)
10. I discovered in myself creative streak: I started sewing toys and books from felt, although before the birth of my son, my greatest achievement with a needle was sewing on a button once a year. I enjoy making homemade toys (various sorters, books, “rattlers”, etc.), inventing all sorts of “developmental toys” and games for the baby.
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12. I expanded my knowledge of classical music(while I was making a selection for listening with a child) and fine arts(my son loves looking at albums with reproductions). There was a funny incident: I came for a manicure at a new salon and noticed on their wall a reproduction from our book. “Yes, this is the Harbor in Marseille!” - but I was the only one who knew this picture. Still, it is useful to learn new things with your child.
13. Now I'm much I spend more time outdoors. My son and I walk in any weather (unless a downpour or storm can stop us), we run, we go down the slides. And pushing a stroller through snowdrifts and curbs is also a good exercise. I finally have warm clothes in my wardrobe; before in winter I only moved by car and only for 5 minutes maximum.
    
14. I created my own project “Motherhood is a joy”, which appeared thanks to my son.
15. My the inner child rejoices, so sometimes I collect autumn leaves with more enthusiasm than Pasha, run after soap bubbles, play with sensory boxes, watch snowflakes on a mitten... Because it’s possible, now I’m not just a serious adult woman, I’m a mother with a child)) )
16. The most important thing is that I learned appreciate moments of happiness with your baby: the way he laughs, comes up to hug me, rushes as fast as he can to meet dad from work, rejoices at the new lid, runs after the cats... I can continue this list endlessly. For me, my child is a powerful charge of positivity and motivation for further success.

And this is just the beginning, there are still many lessons to be learned. So after the birth of a child, life changes dramatically - it’s been verified by me :) Share how your life has changed? What's your lesson from motherhood?