The purpose of the consultation is how to teach a child to tidy up toys. How to trick your child to clean up after themselves toys

Independence manifests itself in different ways: in the ability to make independent decisions (from to developing sports and artistic activities), to behave according to the situation (with children and adults, with acquaintances and strangers), to take care of oneself and one's property. Including - clean up after yourself toys before going to bed. To teach this to a baby, especially to make him do it, is an extremely difficult job. Still, it's worth a try!

Top 3: how to teach a child to clean up toys

1. . As in all personal manifestations (relationships with loved ones, and self-development, hobbies, hobbies and daily habits), cleaning things after yourself child depends on parents. If, after preparing dinner, mom immediately washes the dishes and puts away the leftover food in place, at the end of the meal she washes the dishes without being distracted by TV shows and, and dad, after returning from fishing, instantly lays out fishing rods and tackle, and hangs clothes in the closet, and not throws on the floor and sofas, then the question: “how to make a child put away toys” simply does not arise. From the first months, the baby sees how parents behave in everyday life and learns the norms of their behavior(and not "correct" theories - words spoken during "soul-saving" conversations). Clean up after yourself, help your child clean up in the nursery - and the problem will be solved!
2. « Bribe". We do not mean all kinds of blackmail - from emotional to material (“You won’t go to the cinema”, “You won’t get pocket money”, “We won’t buy a new one” ...)! In the educational aspect, we can talk about certain promises that are important for the child and related to interpersonal relationships with mom and dad (the latter is especially important in connection with the total for the younger generation). For example, in the evening, shortly before bedtime, you can ask the baby to clean up the nursery, after offering his favorite book, tell a fairy tale, watch a filmstrip together. But to threaten with hardships (the same or sweet after dinner) - it's not worth it - it's unpedagogical and humanly cruel;
3. "competition" or "game". If the crumb hasn't reached yet, it is easy to get involved in any active activity regardless of its usefulness. The main thing is to have fun! How to teach a child to put away toys? Organize the Olympic Games: who will quickly collect all the cars in a box, who will fold the pyramid quickly and without errors, who will put the books on the shelf without crushing or tearing, etc. Kids instantly join the “competitions” proposed by their parents, there is not even a need to promise them a reward and prizes. The sincere participation of the mother, the absence of a displeased look from the father, distracted from "mega-important" matters - the best reward for the child! For which you can not only clean up in the nursery, but also do the lessons with pleasure and not speak bad words and generally be a good boy!

I rarely write about parenting. And although I have a lot of knowledge on this topic, there is still no realized experience in resolving all issues, since my daughter is only 3.5 years old, I am just learning to be a mother, and this is given to me with great difficulty.
And today I want to answer a letter from Alena, my friend:
"Tanya, hi!
I want to ask you about your experience of communicating with Masha, what do you do in those cases when she does not want to clean up after herself toys or what she herself brought and scattered, do you force her?
Lyubava does not want to do almost anything herself, although she may say: “No, you take it away.” I already use, in my opinion, forbidden methods, I say: “Lyubava, I’m not pleased when you don’t take away what you brought, I’m offended.” But in this way, I hang my mood, my emotions on her, but I don’t want to follow her lead either. She is not so independent, or maybe she is still small and I have some ideas of my own, although accepted in society, but contradicting the true nature of the child?
Alenka, it’s great that you don’t break the child, that you think about these questions and look for answers, trying to be attentive to the child, and not to some established rules.
I will share my understanding of this issue, based on Vedic knowledge, my own experience and the experience of raising me by my parents.

Where to begin?
From the principles of education. It is most important. Without understanding the essence of this process, we can go very far from the truth.
What principles are important for parents to follow if they want to help their child grow into a harmonious personality?
First principle. The parent is responsible for the CHILD-PARENT relationship.
This means that there are no bad children, but ALWAYS, in any situation when we don’t like our child, it means only one thing - we don’t like ourselves as parents, we use the wrong approach to the child, we are in illusion, in bondage ignorance, influenced by their childhood traumas.
The child should not be comfortable and convenient for us, and he does not come to please us.
We attract into our life a child who corresponds to our level of development.
We create an environment around him in which he CANNOT manifest himself otherwise.
And if we want changes in the child, then we need to change ourselves. Gain knowledge, look for new approaches, study not only your child, but also yourself as a parent, asking yourself questions - What am I doing wrong?
And not "How can I break a child so that he becomes the way I feel comfortable." Very often, parents choose exactly this tactic and then pay for it when they receive coldness, rejection, disrespect, and even contempt for their already grown children.

Second principle. My child is not me, which means he can be different.
Your child may be very different from you in nature.
You love order, and for him it may be prohibitive, he may NEVER learn to be neat and clean, and you do not have the task of a lifetime - to teach him to put toys and his things in their places. Nobody will ask you for this.
Life will ask you for what kind of person your child has grown up to be, how compassionate and merciful he is to other people, how harmonious he is, and what aftertaste he has left after the parental family - deep respect for parents for giving the most important thing - their love or deep contempt for the fact that they tried with all their might to turn him into a comfortable and correct child, guided by some of their own rules.
A child ALWAYS tries to please his parents. But he can only do this according to his nature.

Just imagine.
Your girl is a dreamer, a creative person, a wonderful artist, and she runs to you with her drawings, she dances her childish dances in front of you, she shows all the best that she has.
But it doesn't make you happy. You don't pay attention to her strengths, to her already existing talents, you have a trick to "accustom her to order", and this goal overshadows everything for you.
In this case, the child has no chance to please you. Because accuracy is not her forte, and never will be.
What will happen to her if you focus on her neatness? She will grow up with the feeling “I am worthless, I can’t do anything, I can’t do ANYTHING, and I’m not worth anything, my mother is unhappy with me, no matter what I do.”
I know that you don’t do that, that you admire Lyubava when she shows her nature, I just show you what adherence to “rules” without love can lead to.
After one, we grew up crippled by these rules, everyone tried to shove us into their own framework, regardless of our nature. What came of it, we know for ourselves.
By the way, as a creative person, I am very grateful to my parents for the fact that they didn’t spy on me, didn’t shame me for mess and sloppiness. They just didn't pay attention to it. And I grew up with an almost healthy feeling of myself, and now I am learning cleanliness and neatness myself, and I understand that I will need more than one life for this.
But my friend was chased for every speck of dust. What happened? Her house is immaculately clean. She hates cleaning, but at the same time she cannot but put things in order, the fear of her mother is still alive. She cannot boast of anything else - she did not find her favorite business, because she was busy satisfying her mother's needs, because she was always afraid that her mother would not like her choice. And now she is also chasing her daughter into a mess, taking revenge on her for the fact that her mother ruined her life.
The second case is extreme, and we need to be very attentive to ourselves so that the desire to follow the rules does not overshadow our love for our child.
Third principle. Think about “what my child needs now”, and not about “what can I fuck with him”
And this does not mean to satisfy the whims of the child. Sometimes he needs strictness, clear boundaries, serious conversations, but it is the task of the parent to understand what he needs right now.
Until the age of nine, the child's mind is not developed. Even if it seems to us that this is not so, even if we receive from him meaningful, as it seems to us, answers and actions.
Until the age of nine, a child is not able to take responsibility for his actions, control his behavior, and even more so, emotions. He does not understand and does not perceive the rules, he is not able to listen and heed our moralizing, draw conclusions and separate himself from his actions.
He perceives only the feelings of mom, and then dad.
- If mom is happy, if mom is happy, then "I'm good."
- If mom is unhappy, if she screams or cries, if she is upset, then "I'm bad." Even if the condition of the mother is not connected with the child, he perceives everything that way.
We want to teach a child responsibility, but we often do it very early, we deprive children of their childhood, trying to quickly make adults out of them, so as not to learn to be parents, so as not to solve their problems in relations with him, in order to quickly shove him into adulthood.
Judge for yourself, although our motive is to instill responsibility in the child, the results are often very far from this:
- demanding from the child ahead of time what he cannot give due to his age or nature, we inspire him with the thought “something is wrong with me, I am bad”;
- trying to manipulate him with our feelings (mom feels bad when you don’t put away toys), we deprive them of support and ground under their feet - “mom feels bad because of me, which means I'm BAD. And if my mother does not love me, then no one will ever love me again ”;
- comparing him with others, talking about how well we did it, we let him know "I'm good, you're bad";
- punishing the child for his mistakes and oversights, for his inability to take on what we want to hang on him, we instill in him “you are bad and deserve punishment. I'm good and I can punish you. The way you are, you don't suit me. You need to follow my rules so I don't punish you."

Where is the responsibility here?
Where is the love here?
A child to whom this approach is applied grows up as an irresponsible person, with a feeling of insignificance and a constant expectation of punishment.
If this is a girl, then she tries to guess what others need, forgetting about herself, she tries to be good, to please others so that she is not punished. Such a strategy only leads to the fact that this girl is used, no one appreciates her efforts, no one respects her nature. The girl takes on too much responsibility, or rather, she takes on someone else's responsibility, feeling guilty for the bad mood of others.
If this is a boy, then he does not care about the feelings of others, he often steps over them for the sake of his desires. He relieves himself of responsibility for everything, and simply lives for his own pleasure, blaming everyone around for his failures.

How to follow this principle?
Study the nature of the child.
Watch him.
Know his needs.
Now there is a lot of information on this topic, any astrologer will help determine the nature of the child, there is a lot of information about what different children need (Ruslan Narushevich “Children from Heaven”, Marina Targakova “Windows to the World of a Child”, etc.) and at what age.
It is important for us to know who is in front of us in order to give him what he needs.
For example, I have a daughter of a sensitive type, she is very sensitive, and she perceives my raising her voice very painfully - “mom is angry, I'm afraid of her.” She needs a lot of support and my attention, she needs her mother to be by her side all the time. Naturally, this is inconvenient for me, but I understand that these are her needs, and I try to give her as much mother as I can.
For my child, kindergarten will be especially traumatic, so I have no thoughts about it at all.
I have given only the basic principles with which it all begins, there is still a lot of important information that you need to know. And it needs to be studied in order to put it into practice.
What to do with toys, where does that line lie, when do you need to show not only love, but also rigor?

First, if you follow the above principles, it will already be easier for you in such matters, because you will understand that they are not important.
It does not matter whether the daughter will clean up the toys or not.
It is important how she will feel when she grows up - loved or bad.

Secondly, before the age of nine, it is too early to burden her with any responsibility.

Third, a few more specific recommendations I use with my daughter:
- Give her the opportunity not to put away the toys. NEVER. If messiness bothers you, you need to pay attention to why it bothers you, not how to clean up with your own daughter. Very often, a woman in stress begins to demand help from loved ones, regardless of who is in front of her - a husband or a small child. And you need to get out of stress yourself, and not hide behind the fact that “putting away toys is right.”
- Invite her to put the toys away with you. If she agrees - rejoice, praise her, tell dad, “Dad, look at the order. It was Lyubava who helped me, she is such an assistant to us.”
- ignore her unwillingness to clean up - she has the right to do so, and you know for yourself what happens to you if you start to force yourself to do the cleaning when you have no desire and strength. After all, this is all laid down in childhood, when a mother raises a cleaner from her daughter, and not a happy woman. The order in your house is your responsibility, not your child's. If cleanliness is important to you, then bring it on. I'm talking about a small child, teenagers need a different approach.
- rejoice in every desire of the child to help you, and in no case do not pay her attention to what she did not succeed.
- learn to clean your house with love - the daughter takes over from her mother what she does with joy, and avoids what her mother hates to do.
My daughter cleans up toys whenever she wants - sometimes she plays tidy. Basically, I clean the toys, each time offering her to help me. None of my manipulations have worked even once - my daughter cuts through everything very quickly, and with a smile invites me to “clean it up myself”.
She helps me clean the floor, clean the cupboards, wash my clothes, cook - it's a game for her. And I sincerely rejoice in her help, I tell my husband about it, praise her, although in fact I have to redo everything. Her desire to be useful is important to me, I really appreciate it.
Also, I am learning to respect my daughter, to listen to her needs, to help her live through her big tragedies. I am learning to be a mother by focusing on myself, on bestowal. This is the most important thing in our relationship with children, and I wish you just that.
We should not fill with our child our lack of mother's love, husband's love, like-minded people, girlfriends - this is inhuman. And I try very hard to heal my childhood traumas not at the expense of my child.
Very often, having not received love from our mother, we begin to demand it from our child, traumatizing him, making him an adult, violating the principle of parenthood. Children suffer greatly from this. We ourselves suffer from this.
And to prevent this from happening, it is important for us to heal our relationship WITH MOTHER.

Tatiana Plotnikova

Instruction

Pick the right moment to start cleaning the nursery. If the child is passionate about the game, then he most likely will not want to participate in the cleaning process. If you try to remove those toys that he plays now, then this can completely lead to frustration. When the logical end of the game comes, invite the child to clean up with you. You can organize the process like this: you give the child a toy and say where to put it. You can, on the contrary, ask to bring you this or that toy and remove it. If the child asks not to clean up any toys today, then you should not insist.

Respect opinion. If the child does not clean up, try to discuss with him the reasons for this reluctance. Explain why it is so important to you that he clean up after himself. Listen to his arguments and listen to them, try to offer a compromise. Show your child that you respect his wishes.

Positive motivation is very important when it comes to cleaning. When the baby cleans up with you, be sure to praise him, sincerely rejoice at his success. If the child takes the initiative, do not undermine his self-confidence. Even if you think that you can do better and, in your opinion, it is more correct, do not redo what the child did.

Try not to resort to punishment or commanding tone. Such actions may have an effect, but they instill a persistent dislike of cleaning, which can become a big problem later in life.

Options for positive reinforcement through gifts, permission to watch cartoons, etc. are also very undesirable, as they form an addiction. The habit of receiving a reward for actions does not affect the emergence of intrinsic motivation, because it is important that later the child wants to clean up on his own and without rewards.

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Toys scattered throughout the house are a familiar environment in the apartment of young parents. The child does not see the point in cleaning, because the game goes on all day, and getting toys out of the closet is so boring.

Instruction

Don't raise your voice. Screaming and swearing is unlikely to help in this matter, education should not be reduced to tyranny at all. Remember that yelling at your child, of course, will force him to remove toys, but will not help to realize the need for this process.

Explain to him why you need to hide toys in the closet. A mother can talk to her daughter about how she needs help around the house and is old enough to be involved. Dad will explain to his son in an accessible way that mom cannot manage to keep track of the whole house alone, and the duty is not to pollute the house to facilitate her work.

Turn it into a game. There is nothing better than to continue the game and not do boring cleaning. For example, you can go to the forest for mushrooms. Mushrooms in this case will be scattered toys. Or tell the child that a nasty one has wound up, who steals other people's toys at night. Therefore, they certainly need to be cleaned in place after the game.

Create a toy house. They do not have to be closed in the closet; arrange your own corner for children's supplies. Tell your child that all the toys live in this house, and they only come out to play with him. After that, they must be returned back, otherwise they may get lost and get lost on the way.

Emphasize that only an adult can clean up after themselves. These words have a magical effect on children, because they so want to be adults! Ask him to behave like an adult after the game is over, and it will instantly work.

note

If your requests do not reach the mind of the child, it is worth considering that parental authority simply does not exist for him. Work on this problem and you will be able to avoid many more in the future.

Useful advice

Initially, it is worth showing cleaning by example. After all, if your things are scattered around the house, then the child simply has no one to take an example from.

Sooner or later, the question will arise - how to teach a child to clean up toys after himself? This is an important skill and it is best to teach this skill before entering kindergarten. Why? In kindergarten, it is mandatory to fold toys, a high chair and clothes. In addition, such accuracy is another plus for independence. The best age to teach a child to put away toys is from one and a half to three years. It's great if it develops into a kind of family ritual or tradition. Of course, every child is unique in their own way, but nevertheless, there are some general guidelines that will be useful.

Instruction

The child must be taught by example, that is, the parents themselves must keep their things in order. Remember that children love to imitate you.

Start cleaning with your child. On the first day, he can remove one toy, and you can remove all the others. Gradually increase the number of toys that he needs to clean, and the day will come when he will clean the toys.

If the child plays in the evening, it is better to finish the game before he gets tired so that he still has the strength to clean up.

Try to clean toys with imagination. For example, if your child likes to listen to music, you can turn it on and clean up to it. Or invite him to put the toys away so they can rest. It is also interesting to arrange competitions between you and the child - who will remove the toys faster and more.

Equip a “greedy box” in the room. It is necessary to put all the toys that the child has not removed into it, and give them out only after a week, explaining that "you did not remove this toy, which means you do not need it, so it was offended by you."

Remember that toys need to be cleaned every day, and not just when the mood is good.

Get several boxes for different toys at once and decorate them brightly. In this case, each toy will have its own place.

Praise your child each time for putting the toys away on their own.

Talk correctly with the child and let him understand that he is not for you, but you are helping him to clean up the toys.

note

Be patient, because immediately the child will not learn to clean up his toys on his own. Clean up in a playful way and raise a diligent and tidy child.

Useful advice

There are also some recommendations on what not to do. Do not force the child to remove toys; no need to shout at him; you should not somehow encourage the child and, moreover, promise it, because then he will begin to ask the question before each cleaning: “What will you give me for this?”. This is extortion or the principle of "give-on-give."

Of course, there are no ready-made ways to help teach your child to put away toys. Each mother relies on her own experience and advice from loved ones. The most important thing not to do is to yell at the child and force him to remove the toys.

All children love to imitate their parents, so it is best to teach the child by example. Therefore, it is necessary that all your things are in order. Start putting toys away with your child. On the first day, the child may remove one or two toys, and you collect the rest.

Over time, the number of toys will increase. It is necessary to help the child until he can cope with the cleaning on his own. It is important to clean every day, and not occasionally, because it can become a habit.

It is best to clean up with a child in a playful way. For example, you can arrange a competition, determine a sweet prize that will go to the one who collects the most toys in a box.

Or put toys in a box to sleep, put cars in the garage, etc. If space in the apartment allows, then start several boxes for different toys at once and come up with a fairy tale, thanks to which the child will understand why it is necessary to put the toys there.

For example, we can say that all the toys talk to each other at night. It is necessary that the child accepts the conditions of your game and fulfills them. If the child does not want to fulfill the conditions of the game, then get a "greedy box" in which you will put away his favorite toys and give them out once a week.

If the child does everything right, be sure to praise him.

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Most and certainly all mothers and fathers have encountered a situation where a child reaches for "adult" objects, often located in the apartment or house where the child lives. It is in such situations that the baby needs an eye and an eye so that he does not touch those things that can be dangerous to him. The child, depending on age, is at different stages of development. Touching the mobile phone of mom or dad, trying to get to the cup, pouring water from the bowl of a domestic cat, the child, thus, gets acquainted with the world around him, studies it, tastes it.

First of all, stock up on patience and dexterity of movements, so that, firstly, not to scream at the baby, and secondly, very quickly pick up something that the little one can get hurt or hit on something. Situations in which the child is drawn to the fact that he is, as it were, too early for a lot, consider the most common.

The child reaches for a mobile phone or computer

If you have an expensive phone, get yourself a simpler model, or hold on tight. As a distraction, a child can buy a toy educational phone, the models of which, among other things, are not too colorful, and imitate the appearance of the most modern smartphone as much as possible.

If the child does not accept the toy, let him play with a real mobile phone, for example, on a carpet or soft sofa. It is best to hide a laptop, and also buy a toy tablet or laptop for your child.

Games in the kitchen and in the bathroom

Remove all piercing and cutting objects in advance in places where the child cannot get them. Do not forget about the boiling one, which should also be moved as far as possible. Plates, cups, glasses should be placed on the front line, ideally, not breaking. Children love to play with water, pouring it into cups and glasses, pasta, pouring them dry into plates. After all, we should not forget that most kids copy the behavior of adults. Mom washes dishes and cooks food, the little one repeats almost the same thing in the game. We believe that it is worth allowing him such games: firstly, the child develops, and secondly, this will help in the development of the future mother's assistant.

Mom and dad clothes are also toys

In this case, it is better to give a few pieces of clothing to the child for permanent use for games. For the rest of the clothes that hang neatly in the closet and can be used by the child in the game, you need to agree with the baby, explaining that you don’t mind, but you don’t need to spoil things. Emphasize that things after the game need to be collected and put in place. By doing this, you will develop responsibility in your child, as well as order in cleaning your play equipment. In turn, you can play with your child in a fashion show, shop, design studio, which is very important for the development of imaginative thinking and creative abilities.

The child does not want to play with the usual doll dishes and buckets

Do not throw away shampoo bottles, cream jars, other bottles and containers. Rinse them thoroughly and give them to the child to play with. Immediately draw the attention of the baby to the fact that this is an item used by mom and dad. In most cases, the baby will be interested in the items offered to her, and you will be there to come up with as many games as possible with the child.

Do not scold the child if he brings pebbles, chestnuts, acorns, leaves, etc. from the street.

Everything that the child brought home from the street should be thoroughly washed with antibacterial soap. Make sure that these are not objects that you can hit or get hurt. Find a separate box or container for all the items found on the street, where the child will gladly put it. Do not be too lazy to explain to him what each item represents, where it grows and why it is needed. By doing this, you will expand the horizons of the baby and prove your attention to the baby once again.

Definitely, there are an infinite number of items that make a child want to get, touch, smell and try. Therefore, do not forget for a second about the safety of the baby.

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Anna Bykova teacher, practicing psychologist, art therapist and mother of two sons

Cleaning toys worries parents both in itself and as part of raising an independent child and preparing him for kindergarten. What is the risk of a mother who does not involve the baby in putting things in order, believing that it is faster and easier to do everything herself? Psychologist Anna Bykova in her new book "How to Become a Lazy Mom" ​​tells how exactly a "lazy mom" is useful for.

How to teach a child to clean up toys? This question is asked to me very often. In terms of popularity, the problem of cleaning toys comes right after the top three (potty training, problems with sleep and appetite). To be honest, I do not know of a single working algorithm, as a result of which each child will immediately begin to clean up after themselves. All children are different. We need different approaches, different arguments. Therefore, I simply cite “toy stories” as material for reflection and search for a solution that may suit a particular mother and a particular child.

Story one: what toys like

Kindergarten, group of three-year-olds. A typical situation: they grabbed all the toys from the shelves, played with them and immediately abandoned them. It never occurs to anyone that toys should be removed. What for?

I call the children to me.

- Guys, do you like to return home after playing in the kindergarten?

- And if you stayed in the garden for the night? If they forgot to pick you up? Would you like it?

- So the toys have their own houses, where they like to return after the game! Toys don't like being thrown around and forgotten about. Let's all return the toys to their houses, where they will be happy. Where do our dolls live?

Morality. It is easier to convey a thought to a child if you rely on his experience.

Story Two: A Cleaning Tale

Sasha is three years old. With his imagination, it seems that even toys are not needed. To have fun, a roll of toilet paper is enough for him. Cars drive along a snow-covered track, the track is a soft two-layer roll rolled around the apartment. “Oops,” I think, “again, I didn’t have time to hide the last roll. It’s already late, I don’t feel like going to the store, I’ll have to use paper handkerchiefs ... "

And at this time, a snow storm began. The soft two-layer one turned from a ribbon-like one ... I don’t know what it turned into. The whole floor is strewn with small pieces. Satisfied Sasha rolls "in the snow", sprinkling himself with "snowflakes".

It's time for sleep. You should clean up before bed. But mom needs it, not Sasha, Sasha is satisfied with the "drifts". And mom doesn't like the mess. If mom commands: “Collect the trash!” - Sasha will object: “This is not garbage! This is snow! Let it lie!”. So, you need to convince the child that the snow needs to be collected.

- Sash, Santa Claus really needs your snow.

- Yes?! What for?

- It's May. The snow has melted. Santa Claus is hot. And your snow does not melt. Santa Claus will protect you from the sun with snow. Let's rake all the snow in this bag.

“Mom,” Sasha asks, already sweeping scraps of paper into the bag, “how will the snow get to Santa Claus?”

- How, how, - I think out of the blue, - we will leave the package on the balcony. He will come and pick you up.

Sasha carefully collected all the "snowflakes" into a bag.

The eldest, Arseniy (he heard everything) carefully asked me about the ethics of such motivation:

Mom, are you lying?

No, I'm not cheating. I invent a fairy tale for Sasha, and he plays it. Is it bad for anyone?

Morality. Any activity for a child will be more attractive if it can be turned into a game.

Story Three: Divide the Task into Pieces

Sasha is four years old. I set a task for him: to remove the toys. He starts whining that this is a long time, that there are a lot of toys, that he will not cope, that he will get tired and that it would be nice to help him.

There is such a mess in the nursery that even I had the feeling that it was impossible to clean it up.

- Well, - I say, - now collect only the cars in this box.

The task is simple and clear, and Sasha quickly copes.

- And now only the cubes in this box ... And now all the soldiers in this box ... Well, now, it remains only to pick up the garbage.

Morality. If the task seems abstract and impossible, it should be broken down into concrete simple subtasks.

Story four: how many toys do you need?

New kindergarten. The group has just been recruited. There are several dolls, several hares, several cars, a couple of designers. There are ten children who have learned to clean up toys after themselves in two weeks of being in kindergarten.

Children quickly learned where hares, dolls, cars and cubes "live". Cleaning up after the game was easy. And then they bought new games and toys for the kindergarten: finger puppets, dishes, a “hospital”, balls, more constructors, pyramids, puzzles, mosaics, animals, a railway, trains with trailers, lotto, dominoes ...

I put everything on the shelves, according to the principle of each toy - its place. And in the morning the children came and swept everything on the floor. Not from evil, of course, and not from hooligan motives. It's just how they play. At the age of two or three years, simple manipulations with objects are more common: they turn it in their hands and throw it on the floor. The more toys on the shelves, the more then on the floor.

But now it's time for dinner. Children do not have the strength and patience to clean up. They were able to lift toys from the floor, but classifying and putting them in their places is an impossible task for them.

Morality. There should be as many toys within reach as the child can pick up.

R.S. After that, I left the old set of toys plus pyramids. And new toys were introduced gradually, as the children remembered where to put what. Offering a new toy, telling how to play with it, I did not forget to show “her place of residence”. There were some hints: on a shelf or a box I pasted an image of the toy that “lives” there. If the child forgot where to put the pyramid, he simply looked for the corresponding picture on the shelf.

Story five: the one who cleans plays

Periodically, not only new toys appeared in the group, but also new children. They didn't know how to clean up toys according to the rules. And some still did not want to learn it.

— Yegorka, why don't you clean up? All the guys put the toys in their places, and you continue to play.

- I'm tired.

- If you are tired, sit here, on a chair, rest. When you relax or get bored, come help us.

Sitting in a chair is boring. But I don't want to help. The guys put away toys, drank juice and went for a walk. There are also toys on the street: cars, scoops, shovels, balls.

- Yegorka, why are you taking a spatula? And suddenly you get tired?

- Egorka, don't touch the typewriter. Sit, rest.

- Yegorka, why are you taking the ball? Then you also need to put it in its place, and you get tired ...

Yegorka can't stand it:

- Yes, I will not get tired!

- Will you take it later?

- Good. Take what you want, but be sure to return it to its place.

Morality. Who does not clean up after himself, he does not play!

P.S. At home, I implemented this rule as follows: if the toys remained on the floor after the game (what a stubbornness!), I put them in a box on the mezzanine and took them out only after a week.

P.P.S. A participant in my training for parents told a story about applying the same rule in a fairy tale format familiar to a child:

- Toys must be removed. I taught, I taught my son to do this, for two years we cleaned the toys together, and then one day the son objected: “I won’t do it, let them lie like that.” Well, let them lie, let's go to sleep. And in the morning we wake up - the toys are lined up at the front door, getting ready to leave! Dima to them: where are they going? “Look for new owners and new houses, otherwise it’s cold on the floor.” We looked: the racing car slipped through, skittles and a couple of books managed to escape when dad came out. Dimka and I went to look for them. It turns out that the concierge managed to catch the fugitives! The concierge was given candy in gratitude for her vigilance. And the toys now always sleep in their places.

Discussion

Useful article. She also hid uncleaned toys, they say they were offended and hid.

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Man is not born lazy. Laziness comes from childhood, and its culprits are parents.

The peanut, as soon as he began to walk, strives to imitate adults in everything. If he saw how you wipe the dust, then he will immediately want to take a rag too and repeat your actions after you. And he will take it. But many parents immediately say: “What are you doing? Why did you take the rag? Come on, give it here!” And, thus, they give the opportunity to sprout laziness, and then they are surprised that the child does not remove toys.

Then, when the baby grows up, cleaning toys, dusting, washing dishes or floors, sweeping will become uninteresting. And it is natural that he will oppose all these actions.

However, if you teach him to order from early childhood, then this will become a habit. The child will start cleaning up after himself.

How to teach a child to put away toys? The first lessons are always the hardest. The handles are still poorly obeyed by the child, so sometimes when cleaning something spills, wakes up or breaks. Be patient. Every day the baby will get better and better. But you will not miss the moment when these activities give the child pleasure.

It is necessary to instill a love of order from infancy. To do this, the baby must have a routine. Things should not be scattered in the apartment. The child observes everything, he absorbs the information received like a sponge.

You probably noticed that if the usual rhythm is disturbed, then the baby becomes restless and capricious. Clutter upsets the baby. Habitual rituals are a reliable basis for a child's life. So let him help you.

Try not to redo his work. Anyone will be offended if someone starts washing dishes after him or shifting things.

Any cleaning can be turned into a game.

Examples of joint games “clean up toys”.

1. “Baby, you know, and all the scattered toys turned into berries (mushrooms). Come on, whoever fills the box with berries the fastest wins.” (Give your child a basket or box, take yourself too).

2. Tell your child that his favorite teddy bear has lost a key chain among toys and is very upset about it. We need to help the teddy bear. Start picking up the toys and putting them in the basket. Looking at you, the child will also begin to look for the keychain. Place the “loss” discreetly under the last toy. The kid will find it and be happy. Let the bear thank you for finding the child.

3. If toys are scattered in the children's room, then tell a story about a fabulous dream. A dream will fly to the baby, begin to sneak on the carpet, stumble, a fairy tale will fly out of it. To prevent this from happening, you need to put all the toys in place.

4. Play loading and unloading with the toy truck.
5
. Set up a competition. Divide the room in half. The winner is the one who cleans his part of the room the fastest.

6. Educational game - sorter: invite the child to arrange all the toys according to their characteristics. Small ones are separate from large ones, soft ones - on one shelf, dolls (soldiers, robots) - on another, cubes - in one box, Lego - in another.

Don't forget to praise your child every time.

If you decide to teach your baby to clean, then do not do this from time to time. Everything should be on a regular basis.

If the baby still categorically refuses to clean up the toys, then fold them yourself. But then say: “I cleaned all the toys for you. Which of my duties would you prefer to perform for me?” The child can water the flowers, sweep, wash the dishes, wipe the dust.

If the child has his own room and is already big, then let him be in charge of the nursery. Clean all rooms except the child's bedroom. Let him draw his own conclusions, where it is more pleasant for him to be - in cleanliness or dirt.

If the child has cheated and poorly cleaned his room, then calmly point out what else needs to be done. Be firm and unyielding. Only after everything is done will he be able to go about his business. Be sure to balance your needs with your child's abilities.

In any case, there can be mistakes. Do not scold the baby for them, but rather tell me how you can fix everything. Only then will you instill confidence in the child, and he will be happy to help you.